The Blunt Nail Without A Hammer
by pineapple pizza
Summary: Sometimes, the person who relates to you most is the person you least expect.
1. A Metaphorical Prologue

An Obnoxiously Brief Prologue

XOXO

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><p><em>"Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you have been strong for too long."<em>

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><p>XOXO<p> 


	2. Cold isn't only a temperature

**Warning: This story contains severe self-harm, physical bullying, teen suicide, some drug use, violence, and harsh language. It is not recommended for younger audiences. Viewer's discretion advised. Some characters may be totally unrealistic. No, not may. ARE.**

**DISCLAIMER FOR THE STORY: SOME EVENTS ARE INSPIRED BY THE STORIES: "OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE SPECTRUM" AND "THE CHAMPANGE GANG." IF ANYTHING SEEMS FAMILIAR, I GIVE CREDIT TO THE AMAZING WRITERS.**

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><p><span>Summary<span>: _Ally Dawson lived a life of bullying, depression, heart-break, and trauma; and all it seems to be doing is escalating further. But when she is forced to spend time with Austin Moon, her number one tormentor, she instantly became more upset, and so does he. During that time, they're forced to interact with one another, as the last resort to make peace between them. She soon comes to learn that the Austin she knew was different from the one everyone saw him as, and her curiosity about him immensely grew. But when Austin's friends pushed Ally over the edge, it was too late._

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><p>Welcome to my story! Please feel free to skip this author's note to get into the story. So I am excited to write this because this idea has been going through my mind for the longest time now, and I just needed to write it. So please enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it!<p>

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><p>"Clown" by Emeli Sande<p>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin & Ally, or any of the products or artists mentioned in the story_

Prologue

_"It is a fact that everyone has a story. I got a story. It's not really pretty, but really, when was life _ever_ pretty? But I guess it's okay, though. Then life would be uneventful. _But even though your story might end up boring as hell or maybe interesting as ever- it still deserves to be told to someone. Anyone.__

_But the hard part is choosing the person who'd be willing to listen_

_They got to understand you, how you feel in order for them to relate and actually feel for you. And for me, that person was the exact opposite of what I was thinking of." –Ally Dawson (The Blunt Nail Without A Hammer)_

XOXO

Depressed. That is the first thing everyone notices about me: I am depressed, suicidal, and skinny.

"There's Ally," they'd say. "Man, has she been eating?"

"She looks like she just came out of the _Walking Dead._"

"Wow, she's ugly."

Don't believe me? Trust me, I've heard blunter comments.

And to think it's all because I'm stupid.

So, here's my story. It's not as happy as Cinderella… but who am I kidding. Nothing is as good as Cinderella.

When I was only four years old, I thought I was talented- _don't hate, I was four_-, and so did the many people around me.

But they were my parents so of course they did.

Anyway, to them, I was this sassy, little, cute girl that had a knack for writing songs. I was smiling, always happy with what I got, and I liked to play. So basically, I was a pretty normal kid.

But 'normal' didn't last long. At the age of five, my life changed forever.

I started having lots of trouble at school, messing up every single word when I was only in Kindergarten. To me, bird looked like 'drib', happy looked like 'haqqy', and anything else anyone can think of.

So I went to the doctor's office with my parents after telling them about my problem. There, I found out the horrible news that caused my world to crumble: I had dyslexia. When I found out about it, I was devastated, and I guess not being able to read or write got to my head. Not to mention, the other kids at school were no help at all.

Even before they never really liked me and called me stupid because I couldn't read. To them I was some weird girl who couldn't do anything they could. That got to my head and I just completely stopped trying to write songs even though none of them actually heard me sing. It wasn't long before I got social anxiety and hid somewhere when I saw a huge clique coming towards me.

Even a full garbage can filled with stinking banana peels would do.

My songs became horrible and they made no complete sense at all. My four-year old self could make better songs than my eight-year old self, and that frustrated the hell out of me.

However, my mother just took it one step at a time. We really didn't have much money, so my mother helped me write songs on my birthday as a present. I still have my first song, "Little House" memorized by heart, not by mind.

You know why? It's the first song I had ever wrote… I never thought it would also be my last.

My father never really supported me and my mother writing songs because to him, that would never be my profession.

"Your dyslexia is holding you back," he told me at a young age. "It would be best if you gave up so you won't get hurt." His words stung. Ever since then I've always been afraid of bees.

Put your standards low so you won't be disappointed in the future, huh? Thanks, dad.

Back to what I was saying about the songs, yeah, "Little House" was the only song my mother and I wrote- and for a very horrible reason that chooses to haunt me.

One day, she got this really bad itch, I think on a mole, and it bled very easily to the point where it wasn't normal anymore. I remember my father complaining how he had to spend so much money on band-aids for her.

Anyway, when the bleeding continued, my parents decided to go to the doctor and check it out because it _just _did not stop. At the end of the appointment, my mother was in shock and silent tears dripped down her porcelain face while my father's expression was the definition of 'heartache' and 'terror.'

I didn't know why then, but now I do: my mother was diagnosed with skin cancer.

After that we stopped writing songs because my mom had to stay in the hospital. Whenever I visited her, she looked like a ghost and not what I remembered seeing. It hurt me to look at someone I cared so deeply for suffering for me that it also hurt me too. I wanted to cry every day and my problems of dyslexia seemed so distant now. I felt like a really selfish bitch for thinking that it was the worst problem in the world.

At school, no one really talked to me because I told them I visited my mom at the hospital. They thought they'd catch 'cancer' or some type of bullshit like that.

But don't judge them- they were eight.

Anyway, with them making fun of my dyslexia, and my mother, I actually considered the opportunity of giving up… at the age of eight.

Would you blame me, though? My father said that my dreams probably wouldn't come true, and the person that only believed in me was dying.

Life hated me.

I begged my father to home-school me around the age of ten. He said no, of course, because he couldn't afford it and in the olden days, there was no such thing as online schooling. So, I was forced to face my tormentors alone without any form of self-defense.

Then came the year of 2007.

It seemed like only yesterday.

Reality, it's been seven years.

Age eleven was the worst, and I mean it, worst age of my life. I was in the sixth grade, it was almost the end of homeroom when my teacher got an early call.

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><p><em>"Hello?" she asked sweetly to the receptionist. She then looked at me, and nodded. "Yeah, she's here, why?"<em>

_The smile on her face turned quickly into an evident frown and her eyes pooped open so wide, it looked like they could fall out of her head._

_The class went silent when she gasped, "No!" She clasped her hand over her mouth and then rubbed her forehead as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing._

_"Okay, I'll tell her... Yeah, I know it's bad... okay, bye." She hung up the phone and looked at me, with such sweetness, I thought I was going to get a tooth decay._

_"Ally, sweetie?" Ally, sweetie? I thought. Why did she call me sweetie?_

_"May I speak to you in the hall?" I nodded and I swear, every single kid in that class looked at me as if I was some type of freak… which I already was to them, of course._

_"Honey," said the teacher as I closed the door. "I'm afraid you're done for the day."_

_That was it? I thought. "Okay," I replied easily, "just let me get my stuff." I turned around and placed my hand on the door knob, but her arm gently grasped my shoulder._

_"Hold on, sweetie, you didn't let me finish." I let go of the door knob and impatiently waited for her._

_"It's because of your mother," she whispered sadly, tears threatening to come out of her eyes._

_"My mom?" I said panicking, thinking about the worst. "What's wrong with my mom?"_

_She looked at me sadly and shook her head. "I can't do this," she muttered to herself. "Maybe this is something you should discuss with your father," she said looking at me. The bell rang. "You have to get to go now, sweetie."_

_"What wrong with my mom!" I yelled, ignoring the peculiar stares from the kids entering the silent hallway._

_My teacher's eyes widened at my outburst. She said in a calm, but rushed voice, "Honey, now's not the time to discuss-."_

_I refused to let my teacher speak. "No!" I yelled. "I will keep on discussing, and don't give a crap if this isn't the time to talk about this!" Never in my life had I ever used inappropriate language in front of the teacher, but she didn't seem to notice. I kept on going. "Don't you dare tell me that now is not the time. You can't expect me to be alright and normal when I hear that there's something wrong with my mother, okay? I have the right to know!" I yelled louder, crying. My teacher didn't say anything, probably surprised or scared out of her mind because of my outburst._

_She still kept her mouth shut, so I continued. "Tell me, please!" I begged. "Tell me what's wrong, answer me!" But she didn't, all she did was stare, trying not to cry._

_Finally, she uttered, "Sweetie, I-."_

_I didn't ever hear. "She's my mother. I'm her daughter- and I love her with all my heart. She doesn't deserve everything life thrown at her," my voice was much softer. "And to see her daughter weaker than she already is, that's just not acceptable. So please tell me so I can cry now and not when she's lying still on her hospital bed waiting why her daughter hadn't come." Tears flew down my face like a waterfall._

_No answer came, and I immediately grew frustrated. "Just tell me what's going on so I can just cry right now, damn it!" I yell, sobbing._

_My teacher was crying too, and by then I already knew that my mom had died._

_"She's dead, isn't she!?" I yelled, crying the hardest I had._

_My teacher then shakes her head vigorously. "No, no, no, no! She didn't die yet!"_

_A pause. "Then why did you make me upset for no reason!" I scream angrily._

_"Because she's close to death!" my teacher yelled, even harder than before. Now, all the teachers were outside, looking at the scene. I stood there silently._

_My teacher breathed in heavily. "Go pack now, Ally, so you can see your mother."_

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><p>That was a day full of drama… probably one of the lowest moments in my life- cursing in front of a teacher.<p>

I don't know.

It just happened.

I still can't believe all of that occurred, and it brings me to the brim of tears just thinking about it.

Everyone saw me, heard me, and talked about me after that. I heard the whispers when I entered the room and felt their peculiar stares. By then, I could care less about what they were doing because I needed to see my mother before she died, and nothing- not even they- could stop me.

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><p><em>"Mom!" I gasped, crying, and running to her bedside. Then I hugged her like she'd slip out of my fingers. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner!"<em>

_She took a deep breath and smiled at me. "Ally… it wasn't… you're fault."_

_I cry. "Yes, it was," I say, my voice shaking._

_Even sick and dying, she was still the most optimistic person I had ever encountered. "No… it wasn't," she denied, "it's okay."_

_"I'm sorry," I apologize again. I stood there for a moment, not wanting to let go._

_"Honey," she whispers softly, interrupting the dead silence. I look up to see her fragile face. "Can you do me a favor?" I nod my head vigorously._

_"See that… guitar over there? That's… mine." I knew that already, that guitar helped me through life._

_"Yeah, we had good memories with that," I whisper._

_"Play it," she almost says inaudibly._

_My mouth closed shut. "I-I stopped playing, mommy. I can't play it anymore. I-I I don't know how."_

_She smiles timidly. "Little House," she whispers, "Little House. You… remember, right?" I nod, happy memories flooding back to me. Now, that seemed like a distant memory._

_"Yes, I do, mom, I remember."_

_"And... I sang... that song to... you... so you'd sleep."_

_"Yeah, I know," I whisper back._

_"Can you sing me to sleep?" she says almost inaudibly. I wanted to cry so bad. She knew it was the end of her time, and she needed to leave. And there was nothing for me to do so I could change her mind._

_I reluctantly let go of her hand and pick up the over sized guitar, and played it softly._

_I love this place_

_But it's haunted without you_

_My tired heart_

_Is beating so, slow_

_My mom's eyes began to droop, an I suddenly stopped. "Mom?" I ask panicking._

_"Keep… singing," she whispers._

_Our hearts sing less than_

_We wanted, we wanted_

_Our hearts sing 'cause_

_We do not know, we do not know._

_While playing, her breaths became much shorter, and I panicked. I was about to stop, but I didn't._

_To light the night, to help us grow_

_To help us grow_

_It is not said, I always know._

_I stopped singing, strumming, and breathing when I heard the sound of long, ear-splitting and dreadful beep._

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><p><span>Five Years Later<span>

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><p>Well, here I am now, alone with only one friend who isn't my classmate... or my age. And that's not even the sad part.<p>

My only friend is my music teacher, yes, music _teacher. _My only friend is my teacher... gonna let that sink in for just a bit.

Ms. Kowalski, is what all the other kids call her, but you know, since we're such _chums_- Eva. Just Eva.

But it's not like I'm not grateful for what she has done for me, though. Considering she helped me get through this horrible depression, and currently still is, when no one was willing to try.

Not even my father.

But he's not a bad guy... he just, has trouble expressing his feelings towards me.

If you wanted to say, "What about the kids in your class or your teachers?" Well, I fuck everything about them.

In fact, everyone else made it worst. They (can you believe their guts?) made fun of me for everything. Yes, made fun of me for something out of my control- out of my reach- and blamed me for whatever shit they went through.

And get this! They told me- looking me straight in the eye-, and said that my mother, my only hope, was probably happy dying because she had a stupid, dyslexic daughter.

Those little shits.

I still cry everyday because of the mean words they say to me. Well, I believe "mean" is an understatement. And I can honestly say there really is only just that one person to blame, for making me feel miserable inside and out. You know, the person _everyone_ follows. The person who started this mess as soon as I met him sophomore year. Who taunted me mercilessly for no apparent reason.

I hate how he swoons every girl.

I hate his stupid little smirk

I hate the way he walks

I hate the way we breathe the same air.

And if you didn't get it yet, let me make it clear. :_ I hate him._

The one and (hopefully) only Austin Moon.

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><p><strong><em><span>The Blunt Nail Without A Hammer<span>_**

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><p>Chapter One: Cold isn't only a temperature<p>

XOXO

Tapping my pencil on the wooden desk, I listened to the deep masculine voice of my female teacher announcing the students' names on the little clipboard she had in front of her. "Lindy Blare?" announced my English teacher, Mrs. Fitzpatrick.

"Present," replied the candy-sweet voice of Lindy.

"Taylor Carmichael?"

"Here."

To be honest, I believed taking attendance was a grueling chore for teachers and even students. A better way of taking it is if the teacher could just look at us, and then put the stupid check mark next to our name. It was actually quite simple if you ask me, and I'm not the person to say something was simple. And whenever someone has a shot to make something a bit easier, I would definitely take that opportunity.

The deep, yet feminine voice of my teacher interrupted my thoughts, beginning with an almost a deathly growl. "Allison Dawson, may you please pay attention when someone calls your name?" remarks my impatient teacher. I look up at her, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.

Before I have a chance to say anything, a masculine voice (that didn't belong to my teacher) beats me to it.

"Mrs. Fitzpatrick, I don't want to in any way insult you, but we all knew that from the very beginning, Allison had the tendency to lack... what's a word that she could understand? Smartness. Yes, smartness." Without turning around, I knew that the boy, Austin, was the one insulting me, his hot gaze burning in the back of my mind.

"It's Ally," I correct under my breath, biting my lip to prevent any other unnecessary comments from slipping out from my mouth.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did anyone hear anything?" asks Austin towards the despicable classroom, while effectively mocking me. I bit my lip harder to the point where I was worried it might bleed.

"That's enough Mr. Moon." And even though Mrs. Fitzpatrick said it sternly, everyone in that god-damned room could sense the smirk in her voice, including me. Austin's confidence points grew an enormous amount.

Mrs. Fitzpatrick finished doing the attendance, then began to explain what our lesson was today. English was not a strong subject for me, which is safe to say. Even though I already knew how to speak it, I dreaded the beginning of the class when the teacher announces what we are doing.

"Okay, class. Today we'll actually begin reading the book "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen," states Mrs. Fitzpatrick. My mouth slightly drops open at her words. Oh, just fuck my life. I already had trouble reading, but reading an old novel with dyslexia... well, it just got a whole new meaning to me.

The books were passed out to each other, and when I opened to the first page, I cringed. Complicated words, lines, and I think a few numbers were scattered aimlessly throughout the old-smelling paper.

"Now who would like to read first?" asks the teacher. No one raises their hand, not even a flinch or noise was heard. I wanted to say aloud to the class: Oh come on! We may be in the most unintelligent class in this school, but seriously. Would it be hard to actually read something?

Well aren't I just a hypocrite for not actually raising my hand, but they would understand why I can't... right?

Before Mrs. Fitzpatrick could volunteer someone, Austin, of course, must beat her to it.

"Mrs. Fitzpatrick," begins Austin, "I believe _Allison _would like to read first. You see, she's embarrassed because she knows that she can't read, but wants to give it a try. Redeem herself." My punishment for being a hypocrite.

My eyes widened at my name, and I turned my head over my shoulder to see a very pleased looking Austin. A smirk was slapped on his face as he shrugs nonchalantly as if he did nothing wrong. Oh, I wanted to just flip the birdie on that kid right then and there. He knew that I had dyslexia and knew that I couldn't read Dr. Seuss without messing up a word... a perfect plan to humiliate me.

I looked back at the teacher, my teeth grinding together, hatred in my eyes. Yet, Mrs. Fitzpatrick didn't seem to notice. "My goodness, Ms. Dawson! That's lovely you're willing to give it a try!" exclaims the newly ecstatic teacher for she believes she's making progress with one of her students. I could literally feel Austin's smirk burn further into the back of my head.

I force a smile. "Sure." Taking a deep breath, I begin, "It...is...a." I pause at the word next word. "It is a. Um, truth un-ivvv-ers. Ally-." I stop. The next word was long. And I mean _long_. "Yeah, I can't I'm sorry." A couple of chuckles from other students were heard as I sing further into my chair in embarrassment.

"Oh," says the teacher quickly disappointed, "anyone else?"

"I'll do it," pipes Austin.

I sink back into my chair farther as I hear the boy recite the stupid book perfectly.

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><p>I walk out of the classroom quickly as soon as the bell rang. But of course, life hates me and Austin ran up next to me, smirking his signature smug grin.<p>

"You really are dysfunctional, Dawson," smirks Austin. "I have never met a senior that couldn't read a book."

"Would you just fuck off, Austin?" I snap. "I don't need to deal with your shit right now."

"Woah, watch the language, dysfunctional." He puts his arms up in "surrender."

I always despised the nickname he gave me in fourth grade. Ugh, I even hate saying it.

It reminds me of me.

_Dysfunctional._

I decided to stand up to him. So, I swiftly turned around and faced him quickly much to his surprise as he raises his eyebrows. "You call me Allison," I say through gritted teeth. "You call me Dawson, or even worst of all... _dysfunctional_. But wouldn't it be so much easier if you could call me Ally?"

Austin rolls his eyes. "Look, I don't give two shits about what you prefer to go by, Dawson. All I know that you're dumbass bitch that can't even read "Green Eggs and Ham."

I growl. "It's not my fault!" I persist loudly. "And my name is _Ally."_

Austin scoffs. "And I don't care." He then shoves me roughly to the ground, walking away from me, while effectively causing a scene. I quickly pick up all the books before anyone starts to get any ideas. No one helped or even glanced at the dysfunctional kid who still didn't know her left from right, not even a fucking teacher. And that definitely stung like hell. I quickly get up and hurry to my next class by myself.

A normal day in the life of me.

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><p>Unfortunately, lunch came a lot slower than I hoped. Austin's <em>wonderful<em> remarks from English really set off my whole morning. The kids were looking at me weirdly and whispering things I couldn't understand. I may not have heard what they said, but by the laughs and glances they made at me tell me they weren't complimenting me.

However, when I found out what today's lunch was, a smile came upon my face. Today, we were having spaghetti. I _love_ spaghetti a lot, and could eat it all the time. My father hardly makes the meal (considering it was my mother's favorite meal also) so whenever I get the chance to eat it, I simply must fill my whole plate. If I don't finish it, I bring it home.

I took a giant load of spaghetti, receiving crazy looks from the elderly lunch ladies. But, I just ignored them because they did not know how much I love what they just made, even if it was crappy.

Yet of course, no one could leave me alone and had to do something to embarrass me. A foot came in front of me, out of absolutely no where, and tripped me. My face banged right onto the hard, cold, cafeteria floor, and my delicious spaghetti flying out of my grasp.

"Shit," I groan. My head ached, and I wasted perfectly good spaghetti. But suddenly a loud growl silenced the whole cafeteria like a disease.

"Who. Did. This," growled a too familiar voice. _Shit._ Out of all places, it had to land on Austin Moon.

I was too ashamed and too petrified to even look at him. My body stayed perfectly still as I suddenly became very interested with the Chuck Taylors that were currently right next to my face. They started moving away from me, and so did the others, making a very clear path between the prey (also known as me) and the predator (also known as Austin).

It wasn't long before Austin saw me, lying mercilessly on the ground. "Wow, I should've known that it'd be you," smirked Austin.

While still laying on my stomach, my neck craned toward him, and my eyes strained to see his face. And on that face was a smug grin, and anger flashing through hiss eyes.

"Would you just get up?" says Austin, very annoyed. I nervously get up from my position, now facing him directly. His face seems even more scary now than before. And though a delayed reaction, I knew this would be the biggest scene he would ever cause.

He faced the crowd and began yelling shit about me. "Look, we all know you're dysfunctional, correct?" They all hummed in agreement.

"And well, you had no control over this." Well, actually I did. I just tripped and dyslexia has nothing to do with my body responding to my brain, but he doesn't need to know that. So, I just nodded in agreement.

Austin turns around to face me and smirks. "So I'll make this easy for you, got it?" I bow my head softly.

"Got it?!" screams Austin. I nod my head more vigorously this time.

"Excellent. So you see, I need a favor. I'm failing, in my opinion, the most pathetic class ever: art. And well, I didn't do the project," says Austin. I don't need another hint. it was easy to tell that he wanted me to do his art project for him.

"Oh-oh okay. I'll, um, get started on that-."

"No," interrupts Austin. "If you do the art project, then where's the fun in that?" He starts walking towards me, and normally, I would run, but my legs weren't functioning.

As soon as he gets close to me, he whirls me around so my back was facing him, pulls me into him, and tightly wraps his arm around my waist. I gasp at the contact and shiver as his breathing hums in my ear..

"What are you-." I get interrupted when a bitter, cold and dark liquid cover my head and fill my mouth. I disgustingly spit it out. When I was about to say something, my face was roughly smeared with some cake or bread. More food was covered on my head and on my clothes, as I writhe in the grasp of Austin Moon's arms. His laugh echoed in my ear as more kids joined in the fun of making me his new art project. I couldn't speak, my nose and ears were filled with types of food, and a much bigger blob of spaghetti than Austin's covered my clothes.

After a few more seconds, Austin roughly pushes me to food-covered ground.

"Don't ever, and I mean _ever_, spill anything on me again," he says roughly.

Everyone takes some pictures and I'm guessing posting the video on the internet. After a while, the kids start to get bored and leave me alone on the ground without helping me up.

Not wanting to get up with shame, I crawl to the only place where I know that I'd be welcomed.

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><p><strong>Thank you guys for taking the time to read my first story, TBNWAH. It means so much to me that people would take the time just to read it for enjoyment. I love all of you! (You'll see that a lot more often).<strong>

**Okay, please read, review, favorite, and follow because I update pretty frequently!**

**Thank You... Again!**

**-Adelyn Roselle**


	3. Happiness always has its secrets

_Chapter Updated: March 8, 2014_

**Hello awesome people! Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I appreciate all of them! And finally here is Eva. I like her character a lot, but she's kind of annoying. I don't know. It's probably just me. Real short chapter guys. Love you!**

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><p><em>"Read All About It, Pt. III" Emeli Sande<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the artists, products mentioned in this story._

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><p><em><em>In the first part of the previous chapter, Ally was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of five. Her mother helped her get through it by helping her write songs on her birthday. The kids at her school made fun of her for her lack of intelligence. A few years later, her mother died with Ally singing the song they wrote together, "Little House". Now, Ally must defend herself with the bullying without her mother, while also struggling to keep up with dyslexia. She only has one friend, and that is her music teacher, Ms. Kowalski and blames her depression on Austin Moon.<em>_  
><em>_

_In the second part of the chapter, Ally gets teased by Austin when she couldn't read Pride and Prejudice, and the other kids made fun of her also later in the morning. At lunch, Ally was purposely tripped and her food falls on top of Austin. He claims that he didn't do his art project, so he makes Ally the new art project out of food. She then goes to Ms. Kowalski's room for help._

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><p>I knocked loudly on the door of the music room to be greeted by my only friend, Eva or in the other student's cases, Ms. Kowalski.<p>

My whole high school year, she has been the light for me as soon as my mother... um... extinguished. I always came to her when I had a problem, or I just needed someone to talk to. People say it's weird to be friends with your music teacher, but honestly, there was really no one I could actually go to. Considering I just got smeared in spaghetti by some people in my class, I hardly find it in anyway surprising that I don't have friends.

As soon as she saw me her mouth hung wide open, eyebrows scrunched together in shock in a comical way. "Oh my goodness, darling! Ally! What the hell happened to you?" she gasped in pure awe. Not that I wouldn't blame her. I was covered in mysterious food... not something someone would expect to see everyday when they open their door.

I purse my lips together, then sigh deeply. "May I please come in." I say, stating it, not bothering to even ask. Eva nods and willingly moves out of the way to let me enter. As soon as I walk past her, she stares at me in pure confusion. When I'm inside her room, she shuts the door and crosses her arms, tightly, staring at me, trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

"Start talking," commands Eva.

I sigh, a bit awkwardly since I didn't know where to sit. "What's there to say?" I shrug.

"What's there to say?" she gasps loudly. "Honey! You're covered in food!"

I shrug nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal. But in reality, hell yeah it was. In the inside, I was blazing with eternal fury.

Surely Eva knew she was going to drag the answer out of me. But, she always knew where to start. "It's that Austin kid, isn't it?" suggests Eva. I nod my head slowly.

Eva exhales loudly. "God dammit Ally, why don't you do something about it? As far as I'm concerned he's gone to far way too many times! I'm sure he'd be happy to leave this school if he keeps screwing everything up."

"No!" I screamed a bit too quickly. "No, no, no, no, no. That's a horrible idea, and you know that."

"But I still don't understand why," she exasperates.

"Look, if I go tell the principal, she'll get Austin screwed and then tell my dad," I say, pacing back and forth. My footprints squished lightly with the food.

Eva raises an eyebrow. "Isn't that a good thing?"

I fling my arms up, more food getting everywhere. "No! You don't get it. If Ms. Bennett punishes Austin then I'm ninety nine point nine percent sure that Austin is going to get punished too, and it'll be a lot more worse for me than it will be for him. If my dad finds out, then he'll get even more worried about me because he already realized that I'm hurting myself again, and I just want him to be the last person affected because of my problems!" I scream. By then, I was standing and my fists were clenched, turning white.

Wow, I came here to feel comforted and now I'm screaming at my only friend.

"I'm sorry," I apologize and sit back down on any chair. "My emotions were filled up to the brim when Austin started harassing me at lunch. I just needed to get them out." I hang my head low in shame, waiting for her response.

Ms. Kowalski didn't say anything. I look up and all she did was look with me with concern in her eyes.

"What?" I ask, suddenly cautious.

"You're hurting yourself… again?" she whispers softly. My face turned red as I realized I admitted something she wasn't supposed to know.

"Did I say that?" I reply, using the same tone in my voice as she did.

"Yes, you did," she says as if she didn't believe what she heard too. "You're harming yourself?"

"Um, well..." I stall.

"It's a simple question Ally," she says softly. I nod my head slowly in embarrassment.

"God, what does that Austin kid do to you?" Ever since we met and when I told her all my problems, she absolutely hated Austin and always held a strong grudge against him. She never called him by just his first name, but always by 'that Austin kid' or when she's talking to him, 'Mr. Moon.' Whenever I'm hurt because of him, she wanted, no needed, to know.

"You really want to know, this time?" I ask looking up. "It's bad enough that you have to hang out with me."

"Ally, I'm not doing this out of obligation. I _want_ to. And I especially want to know when you're hurting so maybe I could help take some of the pain away. Please, Ally. Just tell me what he did to you." She lightly out he hand on my shoulder as if she was begging me to say something.

I sigh. "He said that he didn't do his art project. I thought he wanted me to do it for him, but he actually made _me_ his art project out of food. That's why I currently smell like cafeteria food all rolled up into one disgusting mess."

Ms. Kowalski gives me a sad look of way too much sympathy. "I'm fine-," I try to say but she shook her head, silencing me.

"You and that Austin kid share the same classes, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I have your schedule and I just looked at it before you came in...don't ask why."

I tilt my head for her to continue. "Okay... and..."

"It's Tuesday, hon." Eva pauses slightly. "And you guys have art on Friday's." My mouth popped open. Oh my god, is it possible to be even dumber than I am?

"I'm so stupid," I mutter, pressing my face into my hands. My palms could be filled with jelly and bread, but I could care less. Neither did Eva apparently because she wraps her arm tightly around my shoulder and pull me in for an embrace.

"No, sweetie, you're not stupid. Not at all."

"Yes, I am! I can't read a stupid book, stand up for myself, or even read my damn schedule! I'm pretty sure that makes me an idiot."

"It's fine, everyone is different," she says comfortingly.

"I know." I sigh deeply, so badly wanting to cry. "But I just want to tell Austin out, you know? Just, say something, _anything_."

Eva smiles at me timidly. "You got the ideas, hon, use them."

I whimper. "But I'm scared," I say softly. "I'm scared because he'll find a way to hurt me, physically or mentally, and trick me into hurting myself too."

Without saying a word, Eva, with one quick sweep, wipes the food off my wrist closest to her. There were no scars.

"I thought you-."

I interrupt her. "Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there," I reply softly.

She then pulls me closer to her in a tighter embrace. "I'm sorry, Ally."

I quickly hug her back. "It's not your fault Eva. You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry," she repeats.

"Oh, Eva," I say softly. I hug her tighter. "Please don't cry. I don't want to see anyone feel bad because of me. You don't deserve it."

Eva sighs. She releases me from the hug and stares at me straight into my eyes. "You may be this dyslexic girl to everyone. But I see a girl who can change this world. No one will ever know what you're feeling unless you tell them."

* * *

><p>After our conversation, we both cleaned myself up in the faculty bathroom, not wanting to run into the bitches that made me a mess in the first place. When we finished, my clothes were damp and I reeked of food that someone could smell a mile away.<p>

"You should get ready for class," said Eva when we reached her classroom.

"Okay." I wave a timid goodbye and head into the hallway. As soon as I take my first step, I get a lot of looks from the other kids. Ignoring them, I walk down the silent hallway, uncomfortable with their stares. Some of them make fake gagging noises, others turn away or shun me.

After getting my books from my locker I sit down in my math class, where Austin was locking lips with another girl on her desk. And do you know what the funny thing is? My desk was right next to them.

"Ehem," I cough.

Nothing.

"Ehem," I cough a bit louder. I was about to scream, but the loud speaker screeched and interrupted me.

The announcement definitely got Austin's attention as he heard it, and he stared at me venomously when the words echoed throughout the now silent classroom. "May Allison Dawson and Austin Moon please report to the principal's office."

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><p>"I swear I didn't do anything!" screamed Austin.<p>

We were called to the principal's office because she saw the mess at the cafeteria. I guess someone told her that we did it, when it was all solely Austin's fault. Now he was defending himself of a crime he committed.

"It was her, Ms. Bennett. She started everything." He pointed his finger accusingly at me.

Me? He thinks it was me. Well, I would say something, but we both knew that was a very dumb idea.

"Austin, sources say that you were the one to harass Miss Dawson with food." She looks at me and loudly sniffs the air. "The stench of her clothes prove it." Oh. Well gee, thanks Ms. Bennett. I roll my eyes.

"Sources?" strains Austin. He irks his head toward me, faking a smile. "Someone told you, Ms. Bennett?" I don't dare look up at him and coward into my seat.

"Yes," continues a very tired Ms. Bennett, "sources."

"Might I know who they are?" asks Austin, angrily.

"I'm sorry Mr. Moon, I cannot do that at this time. They chose to leave themselves anonymous."

"Well, would it be fine if we leave?" I say softly.

"Ms. Dawson, you just got here. I'm sorry if I interrupted anything you were doing before-."

"You did," growls Austin through gritted teeth. He was mad... a bit too mad. I lower myself in my seat more, afraid of what he might do.

"But." I look up at him and see he was no longer looking at me, but at the superior. He leaned on Ms. Bennett's desk, inches away from the young, unmarried principal. "I sincerely hope I didn't cause you any trouble." She gulps.

"Oh trust me, you didn't" she whispers back. And then she bites her lip. I could literally just throw up then and there.

It was too disgusting for my liking. "Ms. Bennett, how does flirting with Austin Moon have to do with what we were previously talking about."

Her ears burned red and she quickly sat back down in her chair. Austin laughing lowly as he followed suit.

"Ms. Dawson, how dare you make an assumption like that." I shrug like I did nothing wrong.

After a few tense moments, Ms. Bennett than smiles out of the blue. "Okay, I honestly don't think there is any problems. Just as long as Austin apologizes," she states.

Oh you have got to be kidding me. He gets off with a warning, and an oh so disgustingly loving stare from Ms. Bennett.

"I'm sorry, _Allison_." He gives me a smile, a very fake smile that everyone could see through. Although, Ms. Bennett seemed okay with it.

She smiles. "See! Everything's back to normal. You may go back to you classes, and have a great day." Yet, 'normal' is the thing that I wanted to get away from most, and a 'great day' is totally and accurately _false._

We both apologize for the inconvenience and I silently shut the door. That's when Austin bursts.

He grabs me roughly and crams me into a random closet with him. "What the hell were you thinking of telling Ms. Bennett?" he yells.

"I didn't tell her!" I defend.

"Yes, you did. Your act didn't fool me, and you slumping in that damn chair just proves my accusations."

"Please, you're not much of an actor either," I bite back, getting a bit inspired by Eva's speech.

"Woah! When did the dysfunctional bitch start talking again?" That reminded me why I always stayed silent.

"Exactly."

He then leans towards me, his hands supporting himself on the wall behind me. I looked at one of his sculpted, tense arms, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Look at me Dawson." I don't budge.

"I'm not afraid to grab your face and force you to look at me." I slowly make eye contact with Austin, his brown eyes shining slightly in the dim light of the closet.

His face was dangerously close to mine, foreheads touching slightly. "This. Never. Happened." And I was afraid... no, absolutely terrified that he might kiss me. But instead, he just pushes himself off of me and walks back to the classroom, leaving me stunned.

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><p>I walk back into the classroom quietly by myself. Austin was already there, phone in his hand, not paying attention to what the heck the teacher was saying.<p>

He glances at me quickly, then back down at his phone as if nothing happened between us previously. I made a mental note to learn how to do that in the future.

Sitting down in front of Austin, I looked at the board and we were on algebra 1, which was only the second level of math. If I were to be normal I'd be on Trigonometry right now, but of course not. I was in the class of dim-wit seniors who weren't smart, or either didn't give a fuck about school.

During the whole lesson, I tried paying attention, but my mind was elsewhere. Who could have told Ms. Bennett? And would have the guts to blame _the_ Austin Moon?

I only told one person... who hates Austin... who wanted to tell the principal... and who would defend me because I was scared to say something.

I growl under my breath, "Eva."

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><p><strong><strong>Oh God. Don't you just hate it when you think you love a character, but they end up being a bitch. Gawd. But she'll find a way to redeem herself... hopefully. Oh! And I hope to read some more reviews, they really do mean a lot, even the cute and simple ones. <strong>**

**I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for reading my fan fiction. It definitely means a lot more than what you'd expect. And I promise the more you read, the better parts will come. _*Hint, hint*_**

**So thank you again and please read, review, favorite, and follow!**

**Thanks lovelies! -Adelyn Roselle.**


	4. Two ways to solve a problem

_"Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson_

_Standard Disclaimer Applies_

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally tells Ms. Kowalski what happened at the cafeteria. Ms. Kowalski tells her that she should tell the principal, but Ally refuses because it would make everything worst. Later on in the day, Ally and Austin are called to principal's office. They both get off the hook because Austin flirted with the principal. At math class, Ally realizes Ms. Kowalski told the principal<em>

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><p>I couldn't wait to get out of this hell of a math class. It was boring and complicated as <em>fuck<em>, I had a free period next, and I had some accusing to do. My foot impatiently tapped on the floor, disrupting the quiet time to do our work.

"God, Dawson, stop tapping your damn foot, would you?" mutters Austin under his breath.

"Well I am sorry. I'm busy thinking of something way more important that Algebra 1," I remark in disgust.

"What could be more important than math," remarks Austin, voice dripping sarcasm.

"How the hell did Ms. Bennett find out about what happened in the cafeteria?" I mumble to myself.

"I thought… you told her," he says confused.

"No, I didn't. But I know who did." I whisper the second part softly to myself so Austin couldn't hear it, but apparently the teacher did.

"Excuse me." The teacher, Mr. Finchley, looked up from his desk to confront the talking. "Is something going on?"

"No," Austin and I both say simultaneously.

"Good." Mr. Finchley looks up at the clock. "Okay class, let's wrap it up for today. Homework is on page 302 in your textbooks numbers one to thirty. Please put in your agendas so you don't forget."

The bell rings loudly, and everyone starts talking over each other, while Mr. Finchley is screaming random shit about being quieter.

I storm out the classroom as soon as I packed everything up, not glancing at anyone. My footsteps echoed in my ears in the loud hallway as I made it to Eva's room.

Knocking on the door furiously, I let out a loud grumble. "Eva."

She answered the door quickly with pure concern on her face. "Um, hi?"

"Don't you 'hi' me!" I hiss.

She looks at me weirdly before moving out of the way in her door and gesturing me to come inside. I don't hesitate to walk furiously in.

"I thought I told you!" I yell.

"…What?" she asks innocently.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

She hesitates for a moment, but then sheepishly says, "No."

"Oh my god! You're like Austin now, defending yourself from a crime you committed!" I yell.

"Hey! I will never be like that jerk. And what crime did I commit? All I did was help you!" She clamped her hands over my mouth, accidentally admitting what she did. But it was too late. I heard it, she heard it, we all knew that she told Ms. Bennett.

"I can't believe you told Ms. Bennett what happened!" I yell, frustrated.

"I am sorry!" she yells back with the same tone.

"Do you know what you've done? That bastard is going to somehow find a way to beat the living crap out of me! Is that what you wanted?"

"No! That's the opposite! You need to show him that you're not weak and can stand up for yourself. He can't just continue this harassment!"

"This 'harassment,' I say while putting air quotes, "is just a minor thing."

That ticked Eva off even more. "A minor thing! Girl, that kid just made you his art project out of food because you were tripped by one his stupid followers. God dammit, Ally! You should be thankful I told the principal what happened today at lunch."

"Okay, well you wanna know what the principal said, huh?"

"Yes!" she screams.

"Okay!" I scream back. "Well, she first did blame Austin, but he used his good looks to his advantage and flirted with that god damn principal and let us go with a warning. Is that how your plan was supposed to go?" My breaths were short, and my fists were balled up just like earlier this morning.

"He only got off… with a warning?" Eva says angrily. It looked like she could kill anything at that moment.

"Yes," I sigh, tired of yelling.

"Jesus, when you tell the principal something bad, you expect her help," groans Eva. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's cool. I should be the one apologizing for blowing up like a grenade," I reply back.

We stay there in silence for a moment. "What do you think he's going to do to you?" she whispers.

"I don't know, but I'm crossing my fingers it won't be bad."

An awkward silence, yet again, follows. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?" asks Eva breaking it.

"No, it's free period."

"Where do you think that Austin kid is?" she says smugly.

"I don't know and I don't care. Probably smoking, getting a tattoo, or kissing a random girl he saw on the street," I say as I play with a loose strand of thread on my shirt.

"You really do think lowly of that Austin kid, do you?" asks Eva.

I look up. "Yeah. Do you not?"

"No, I do… You do realize that we still have to tell somebody."

I groan loudly. "Why do you have to bring that up?"

"Because, that kid deserves to be punished… and I will tell someone if it does continue."

"No!" I yell loudly. "Just let me handle it, alright?"

"Fine, but if he hurts you again, I will seriously pull out my father's hunting gun and use it."

"Bye, Eva," I say sweetly. I get up from my chair.

"Where you going?"

"Anywhere."

"Don't want to hang out with me?" she says in a fake hurt tone.

"I do, but I need to clear my mind. I hate today."

I walk to the door and don't make a foot out because someone grabs me by the waist and then pins me high against a wall. It definitely surprised me, but I definitely knew who it was.

"Would you let me down?" I hiss.

"You told. You told Ms. Kowalski, didn't you?" Austin whispers roughly. Our faces were so close, I could smell the light mint lingering on his tongue.

"Answer me, Dawson!" He spits my name out of his mouth like it was poisonous.

"Put me down," I repeat.

"Not until you tell me."

"Fine! I did, tell her!" I yell in his face.

"Mr. Moon!" He spins his head around to face a very angry Ms. Bennett. "Harassing a woman like that is _not_ the proper way to go."

He angrily looks at her, then back at me and whispers, "This isn't over Dawson, and I swear it _never_ will be. If you tell another soul…" he smirks, "let's just say… good luck."

Austin then drops me to the ground and walks down the hallway. His words replay through my head in his dangerous and alluring voice. _This isn't over, and it will never will be._ It scared me. Every inch of it. The poisonous venom in his words, permanently scarring my brain. It may have been one short sentence, but that definitely took control over me.

I look to the side of me and face Ms. Bennett, who currently had a sad yet surprised look on her face.

"I'm sorry for not believing you, Ms. Dawson," she apologizes.

"It's fine," I mutter. Then, she walks away without saying a word. Nothing. No punishment for Austin, no meeting discussing what happened, and didn't even ask if it happened before. She really doesn't care.

I pull my legs into my chest and rock myself. What the hell is he going to do with me, better yet what is he doing to me? I was never this scared, or terrified of any human being before. Would he kill me, yes. He'd make me kill myself.

I cry silently in the empty hallway, anxious about the future. This would never be over. He'd always win, and I'd always lose, no matter what case, even if the principal did just witness harassment. She didn't care, none of the other kids did either, and the only one who did can't do anything about it.

"Ally?" I look up to see a very concerned Ms. Kowalski.

I get up from my crouched and run to her, hugging her tightly while crying into her shoulder. She stroked my hair softly, humming softly. "It's okay," she whispers, "it's okay." But I knew deep in my heart that things weren't going to be okay, and had a feeling she knew that too.

* * *

><p>"He said what!" screamed Eva.<p>

"Yeah, he threatened me to make my life even more miserable than it already is."

"How- but. Does he have no respect for women?" she yells.

I shrug, "Afraid not." I look down at my clasped hands and sigh. A small tear trickles down my cheek. "I'm so tired of crying."

Eva looks at me sympathetically. "It's alright, Ally. It'll be over soon."

"But that's the thing!" I get up from my chair. "It never will be over. Everything he said, everything he ever told me will follow me around forever affecting everything in my life. No matter what, I can't escape it, and you know it."

Eva sighs at the point I made. "You're right," she sighs.

More tears run silently down my cheeks. I hug myself and look down, noises escaping my mouth. "I just want my mom. She'd know what to do."

"You're mom? I thought-."

"Yeah, she did die. But when I was still really depressed with the news of becoming dyslexic and not being able to write songs, my mom would help me write them on my birthday as a present."

I look up at Eva, who was smiling. "What?" I ask.

"…You write songs?"

Oh, I guess I never told her that. "I didn't tell you?"

She shakes her head. "Sorry," I apologize lamely.

"Don't apologize. Those are the wrong words. You should say thank you… to yourself."

She literally made no complete sense. The look on my face must've told her because she laughed.

"Hun, you're mom helped you write songs, right?" I nod.

"Well, maybe you can be connected with her through songs… you know. Do the same thing she did for you, write them. It can help you remember her and in a way, you guys will never really be separated." After a few anxious moments, I break out into a smile.

"That. Is. Brilliant!" I say ecstatically. "Thank you!" I run up to her, and hug Eva, warmly.

"Woah, down girl," she says laughing. I let go of her smiling. Then, I suddenly stop.

"What?" she asks.

"What if I don't remember how to write?" I say sadly, realizing the true predicament behind the reason why I chose to stop writing in the first place. I look at Eva, pleadingly. "Would you help me?"

Eva sadly smiles. "Sorry… but I think it would be much more... special if you maybe wrote the songs yourself."

I frown. "Can you at least re-teach me how to play the guitar and piano?" She looks at me reluctantly. "Please?" I beg.

She smiles, "Fine."

* * *

><p>We spent the rest of my free period with her reviewing over the piano and guitar. I really didn't forget, I just needed the refreshing. Our session was interrupted when the bell rang.<p>

"Next class with that Austin kid again?"

I laugh. "When will you ever just call him Austin?"

"When he stops hurting you."

"Guess you'll be calling him 'that Austin kid' forever, then."

"Works for me." We both say goodbye to each other as I leave the music room.

I continued my day in my happy mood that surprised everyone. Shockingly, no one tried to do anything that would dampen it.

* * *

><p>When school was over, I raced outside. As soon as I spotted my dad's old, beaten up pick up truck, I ran to it and climbed in.<p>

"So how was your day?" asked my father.

"Cruddy at first, but became much better."

"That's good," he replies, not really paying attention.

I smile. "Yeah, yeah it is." I looked out the window, smiling to myself, rhyming random words in my head that made no sense at all.

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><p><strong>The end! Haha, JK. That would make this story really crappy, wouldn't it.<strong>

**Yay! Ally's finally happy, but really her problems are just starting. Oh no! I'm so over-dramatic on the internet. Do you know it's 11:30 at night right now and I'm supposed to be doing homework? Oh well, I just really wanted to finish this chapter.**

**By the way guys, I rewrote the Prologue and turned it to Ally's point of view. There is some important information there, so if you'd do a girl the honors and just please reread it, that would be greatly appreciated.**

**Thanks guys! And please, please, PLEASE read review, favorite, and follow. If you do all, I'll mention you in the next chapter. Which really isn't fair because some people already did that, so I'll mention them there too.**

**Oh! And can I please get to twenty five reviews all together? Please? I already have... eighteen or nineteen, I'm not sure. But you guys will definitely be totally rossome and laurific if you made my wish come true :)**

**Thanks again for your support! **

**~Adelyn Roselle **


	5. Memories can actually follow you

_**Hi guys! There's a long author's note at the bottom of the page, please check it out! In this chapter, there won't be any Auslly, but hopefully I won't have school tomorrow so I can write chapter five. This chapter is mainly about Ally's mom and it gets very sad. Angst will come around the middle-end-ish? And plus there won't be much dialogue. I don't know if this chapter is particularly interesting to people, but I liked writing it. Enjoy!**_

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><p><em>Song: "My Immortal" by Evanescence<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally confronts Ms. Kowalski, who accidentally admits that she was the one who told Ms. Bennett. Austin hears their conversation and threatens Ally by saying that his harassment will never stop. Ms. Bennett witnesses everything, but doesn't say anything. This leaves Ally shocked, confused, and scared for the future. She cries and then is comforted by Ms. Kowalski. Ally than admits she misses her mom and writing songs for her. Ms. Kowalski than says that if Ally writes more songs she will be connected with her somehow. The chapter ends with Ally rhyming words.<em>

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><p>I got out of the car right away, my mind buzzing with emotions I thought failed me. In other words, happiness. I couldn't wait to start to start writing.<p>

My family didn't have any instruments, but only the guitar that belonged to my mother. I was about to reach for it, but my father came in the door, looking at me surprised.

"What do you think you're doing with your mother's guitar?" he asked suspiciously.

I pulled my hand down reflexively. "Um…" I stuttered. I really didn't have an answer to that question. Well, I did, but he wouldn't approve of it, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Ally, that's the most important thing that we have of her, don't touch it," he scolds. "By the way your bags are still in the car."

I only got half of what he said. _Most important thing left of her. There's more._

"Wait, dad." He turns around to face me, an annoyed expression on his face. "There's more stuff?"

He looks at me confused, then catches on to what I was hinting. "Oh yeah, we have a box full of her stuff in the attic. I would've kept it in my room… but…." He didn't continue, and I didn't need him to. The memory of her would be too much for him.

"Well dad, I'm going to do some homework. Later." A lie. I was definitely not going to do homework with the inspiration I found.

* * *

><p>Nothing. Absolutely nothing came to me. I was so certain that with the ideas that I had in my mind would last me one song; I thought this wouldn't be hard. Well, I certainly thought wrong. The rhyming words that I had thought of in the car did not make sense at all, with any song for that matter. I mean, seriously, cat and bat? Where would those come in an emotional song? Answer: Absolutely <em>nowhere.<em>

Homework would definitely make me even more frustrated than I already was, and I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I really had to start this song before it brought me to the brig of insanity.

I go downstairs, silently, and then go to the guitar that laid perfectly still on the white walls. It was a very simple acoustic guitar that most people would over look and label ordinary. In my eyes, that guitar was the most beautiful thing that could maybe ever exist on this planet. Nothing could compare to it and win.

My hand gently glides down the smooth wood, and I was instantly remembered of my mother's soft skin. I pick it up and strummed it lightly, instantly reminded of my mother's angelic voice. Then I looked at the dust on it, and remembered it's been a very long time for the three of us. Everything about it had some resemblance to my mom. I couldn't help but let the small tear escape from under my eyelid.

I silently put it back up on the stand and walked away. Too emotions overwhelmed me too quickly, and I couldn't handle it. I walk away sadly, but had the instinct to be remembered of my mother again. And that guitar wasn't enough to sustain me.

The attic was cold compared to the rest of my house. It smelt like dust and reeked of…old. I carefully walked around the place, careful not to step on anything. Then I saw a box marked: Her's. That was all it said, and I instantly knew that the box had my mother's stuff. I walked to it carefully, then opened it gently. My eyes instantly became wet when the scent of her clothes escaped the enclosed box.

"Mom," I whispered tearfully. The first thing I saw was her jacket. It was orange, her favorite color, but it was a bit faded. That pop that I remembered vividly was gone, just like her memory. But seeing everything again, just made it a lot more visible.

I put the cold jacket on, receiving chills up my arms and throughout my body. In order to be a bit warmer, I put my hands in the pockets, expecting to be warmed by the soft fabric. But instead, I found a cold piece of very old paper.

I pull it out to look at. Suddenly, I gasped at the sigh. There it was: her handwriting. I thought I how it looked like, but now, it was like I just saw it yesterday. Her neat script gently and gracefully danced along the paper in blue ink. The love I felt for my mother became stronger, and nothing, not even Austin, could remove it from me. Tears began to fall as I noticed it was a letter, to her daughter… Allison…me.

_Allison, my daughter, my love, my one and one and only,_

_It's raining right now and you're at school, learning everything you possibly can. The weather is making me sadder than I need to be, and my emotions are taking over me. I need to get them out. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but maybe you'd like to know what I'm thinking._

_My words are quite mixed up and there seems to be no right words to express my feelings. I'm so sad right now because I realized the horrible truth. Ally, I'm so sorry. Please understand that I too hate realizing I'm never going to be the mother you really do deserve. The one who'd take pictures when you graduate, or when you go to prom. Or the one who'd cry when you got married, and take care of your beautiful children. I'll never be able to experience it, and for that is the reason why I'm truly sorry._

_To be honest, I feel like it was only yesterday when I tied your shoes and kissed your scraped elbow. Now, I won't be there to comfort you when you get hurt. But here's the thing, you won't be alone forever. A new love will be found. There is someone out there who will love you more than I ever did, and accept the fact that all your problems can't be undone. He'll realize how beautiful you really are in the inside and the out and compliment you everyday, which was something I didn't do and regret it. He'll kiss your problems away and make you feel better, just like I did whenever you got hurt. He will be your new light in this dreary, dark tunnel called like. I promise, you. The one that makes life unforgettable is out there… he may be closer than you expect it to be._

_However, life won't be easy, Ally, you know that. There will always be something getting in your way. And, to be quite frank, there's nothing we can do about it. All I can say is use it to your advantage and learn from it. Nothing will ever be given to you for free, and it can be confusing at times, but you can't give up. I don't want to see you up there any time soon, even though I miss you dearly. But you're still a little seedling, and you're only starting to grow._

_A time has come to an end. My time. Gosh, can't the clock just freeze for a moment so we could take in our surroundings? Whenever there is that rare moment where time can stand still, just stop for a moment and just realize everything that surrounds you. Night is silent, right? No. Hear the crickets and hooting of the owls echoing throughout. Nothing is ever going to be still and the world will keep on moving. _

_When you look at me, I will no longer the healthy woman you used to see. Now, you will see a weak woman that you shouldn't look up to as much. When I die, please do the simple task of remembering me as the mother who was strong. I know I'll remember you too when I leave. I'll remember you as my beautiful daughter that had my husband's eyes and his determination. Who had my hair, and ability to care for those who hurt us in the past. Who had the perfect amount of sass in her voice that could make people laugh. I promise I won't remember you as the perfect daughter. I'll remember you as something better._

_I'll always be with you,_

_Mama, your nightingale._

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><p>I stuttered, cried, and gasped loudly reading the letter. I couldn't stop crying, and I didn't attempt to stop it. It was hard for me to breathe, causing me to choke on absolutely nothing. My mother's jacket was now covered in tear stains, but I could care less. The thing inside it was much more important than the outside.<p>

I got up slowly and walked down from the attic. Of course I placed everything back where it was. When I closed the attic door, my father was standing outside.

"Honey-." He then looked at my puffy, red, tear-stained face. "Oh. What happened?" I didn't say anything, all I did was run into his arms and hug him tightly, crying hard.

"Ally, what's wrong?" he kept asking while hugging me. That caused me to cry even more.

After a while of staying in the same position, I left his embrace without a word. Then, I went to my room, and silently closed the door. My back leaned against the entrance of my room, as I closed my eyes. So many things happened today, it seemed like many days instead of just one.

But the think that really took control of my mind was my mom. She was my nightingale, my guardian angel, and she's always with me. _She was my nightingale._ And that was all I needed to start off my song. It was very, as in _very_ hard for me to write a paragraph of words. I believe it was an hour or so to get something. But eventually, I got it, and was pretty damn happy with the results.

_Can you be my Nightingale?_

_Sing to me, I know you're there_

_You could be my sanity_

_Bring me peace, sing me to sleep_

_Say you'll be my Nightingale_

I smiled. My was my nightingale and would protect me. But there were some things that I knew she couldn't even save me from.

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><p><strong><span>Author's Note One:<span> I'm sorry! This chapter must have been a bit boring, and some people might be a bit disappointed. In other Austin and Ally fan fictions, they fall in love right away. As in right away! Like, I just finished one where Austin tormented Ally and then they kiss on like, chapter five. And I don't find that realistic at all, so I'm trying to give this story a realistic vibe, even though I don't believe what happened in chapter two and three could actually happen. Or I don't know. Some teachers must be sick and hit on their students that harass others students… want something interesting in their life? Yeah, I don't know.**

**Author's Note Two: Okay look, You guys are seriously the best. As in the best. I feel very honored that so many people enjoyed my story! I'm actually writing this author's note on the school laptop secretly because I really needed to say thank you. I'm so grateful for the four people that favorited the story already when I just got started, and all the small guest reviews. One person only said, 'amazing' as the review, and I burst into a smile. But, I appreciate the long reviews EVEN MORE. **

**Now, the long awaited shout outs: CartoonGurl201m for reviewing on all my chapters, including my very cruddy prologue AND favoriting this story.**

**Thank you to Taylorauslly for favoriting and following me and my story. That was a totally unexpected and beautiful surprise. Wow... I'm favorited! I need to get use to that already :)**

**Thank you xAmityStarlight and AusllyGirl123 for giving me FANTABULOUS reviews that I will cherish. Oh! And for also favoriting this story.**

**Thank you Citylights at Midnight (I know, I couldn't believe it either) and basejumplivin for following it.**

**Lastly, but certainly not the least, thank you to my wonderful guests who really just boosted my confidence. I love every single one of you. Thank you! **

**Oh, and guess what! We reached my goal of twenty five reviews! (How many times must I say thank you for you to get the point?) Now, can we get it up to 30? It definitely would make me update faster. *Gives you virtual hug* **

**Thank you guys, again, and I promise to update frequently... probably at like twelve in the morning because I have school work :P**

**Okay, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. it definitely was not the... cutest and fluffiest chapter ever. But, we definitely won't see cute any time soon. There is going to be a lot of drama... Uh, oh.**

**I love all of you! Please read, review, favorite and follow!**

**~Adelyn Roselle**


	6. Emotions are obvious when written

"_The Lonely" by Christina Perri_

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and ally and I am in no way associated with them._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally feels as if she found inspiration, but really didn't. Her father tells her that there are some of her mother's stuff in the attic, so she goes through it. There, she finds her mother's orange coat, and puts it on to find a letter to her. She then finds inspiration, and even though it was difficult, begins her song.<em>

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><p>The next day, I went to school excited. In fact, I haven't been excited to go to school for the longest time that it almost scared me. Upon arriving, I instantly ran to the music room, where I interrupted Eva eating her cup of yogurt.<p>

"Eva!" Surprised, she dropped her spoon full of yogurt that was making its way towards her mouth. It splattered all over her skirt and the floor.

"Shit!" she cursed. "What the hell Ally? Heard of knocking?"

"I did it!" I said excitedly, ignoring her annoyed remark.

"What?"

"I did it! I wrote a song!"

"You finished?" asked Eva, astonished, the mess of yogurt forgotten.

"Yeah! Well, no. Not exactly. I wrote a bit of it."

"That's good enough for me! Play it." I ran to the nearest guitar and strummed the beginning of the song. The lyrics soon came out of my mouth, causing Eva to smile. When I finished, she gave me a big ovation.

"That was amazing Ally!' she said proudly. She spread her arms out for a hug, but I held out my hand.

"Yeah, no. I had food on me yesterday, and I don't want anymore." She looked down at the white stuff covering her lower half.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." We both looked at her skirt, then laughed at how ridiculous she looked.

"Ms. Kowalski?" said a masculine voice that I knew all to well. We both looked at the entrance to find the last person we wanted to see, and I instantly put the guitar down from my lap. Why? I honestly don't know. Something personal like that was something I didn't want to share with anyone, especially Austin.

"Mr. Moon. I'm kind of busy right now," said Eva.

"That's fine." He looked at me, then back at the teacher. "Can I talk to you at lunch, Ms. Kowalski?"

"Yes, that's alright. I'll see you at lunch, then. Goodbye." Austin raised an eyebrow at Eva's quickness, then left the room without a word.

"He seriously irks the hell out of me," states Eva.

My thoughts quickly came out of my mouth. "He really didn't say anything that should bother you."

She then looked at me surprised. I could tell she was taken aback by what I just said. In fact, I was also surprised myself.

"Are you actually defending him?" she asked.

"Well, I'm defending the side that's not present. It's only fair." I get up from my position and walk to the other side of the room.

"What has that song done to you?" asked Eva, sarcastically.

"Haha. Very funny."

"No, I'm serious. On a normal day, you'd agree, not actually try to defend him."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "What's going on?" she asked smiling.

"No, don't jump to conclusions. There's no guy involved." Eva frowned.

"Then what is it? The song getting to you?"

"No. It's the inspiration that's getting to me."

"Well then," smiled Eva. She grabbed a napkin and began wiping her skirt. "What is it?"

I smiled at the memory of what happened yesterday in the attic. "It's my mother."

Eva tilted her head.

"I found this really old letter that she wrote to me," I continued "… and I suddenly found my inspiration… it was an amazing, and wonderful miracle." I sighed happily.

"Wow. Destiny didn't fail this time, didn't it?" Eva threw the napkin out and sat next to me.

"No, it didn't," I replied. And it was true. I believed that destiny did come, and maybe at the right time too with all the Austin shit going on.

"Hey. Do you want to use the music room at lunch?" offered Eva. I smiled at her warmly.

"What for?"

"To work on your song, silly." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Am I even allowed to do that? Use the music room by myself, I mean." Most teachers wouldn't allow there students to even enter the classroom without supervision, let alone use the stuff inside of it.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Eva nonchalantly. "You've given me no reason not to trust you, so I'll give you one of my keys. The room's usually locked because I sometimes go out or for a meeting, but I trust you enough with it."

"Really? Thanks. It means a lot to put that much trust in me," I gushed. "You know, 'cause most people wouldn't trust a dyslexic girl with their keys. But wait- aren't you meeting up with Austin?"

She frowned. "We'll take our business elsewhere."

"Well...um okay. Thanks again."

Eva laughed then threw me a spare key. "Hey, don't worry about it, kid." She ruffled my hair playfully. "Get to class before you get me in trouble because you're late."

I smiled at her then left the music room with a goodbye.

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><p>At homeroom, I sat alone in the corner, doing absolutely nothing. Reading was out of the picture, I had no one to text on my phone and it couldn't go on the internet, and I had no friends whatsoever. What was left was for me to wait for the announcements.<p>

During that time, some of the kids looked at me and giggled and whispered. They were probably talking about my lunchtime fiasco yesterday or some type of shit like that, but something about it made me think that over.

"Good morning Jefferson High!" bellowed the way overly enthusiastic principal. "Welcome to another wonderful Thursday morning. Okay-." The screen started crackling. I noticed some of the students laughing… what could be possible funny? But of course, I always think the worst in every scenario and I suddenly had a horrible feeling that maybe what happened yesterday might never leave me.

"Hold on, we're hav-." Crackle. "Techni-." Crackle, and then before I know it I'm on the screen.

Austin's arm was tightly wrapped around my waist as I struggle to be released out of his deathly grip. White cake was covered on my face and some people were pouring some liquid on my head.

"Stop," begged me on the TV screen. However, in real life, I was silent and watched the screen in horror.

The whole class started laughing at me. Everyone took pictures of me as I silently sat at my desk. I couldn't move, or react, or even say anything.

In the front of the room I spotted Austin leaning against the wall, smirking at what happened yesterday. He turned his head to face me, and I saw his smirk subtle down a bit. Why did it? I, again, don't know. To be honest, it was just down right strange to see something like that.

The video continued as people began calling me more names. By then, I was already crying. More people were crowded around, saying shit about everything that has nothing to do with me. Stuff like: I'm a loser, deserve to die, or how I'm not normal and never would be.

Austin just stared at me, emotions, that I couldn't comprehend, covered his face. I looked back at him stuttering and gasping as tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't believe him. How could he honestly publicly humiliate a girl in front of the entire student body, watch her cry, then do nothing about it? He then quickly looked back at the TV and pretended nothing out of the ordinary happened.

I was too weak to move, and I looked at my homeroom teacher. He just stood there looking at the screen.

I was angry. No one stood up for me, nor did anything about it, even the god damned teacher didn't do anything about it. All they did was laugh, stare, and make fun of me because of what _they_ forced me to do.

I continued crying, hoping the that the video would end soon. Soon enough, the screen went black.

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><p>My day did start great, I will admit it, but it quickly diminished due to that video. I didn't hear anything about Austin getting in trouble, which totally pissed me off more.<p>

Then there came the word tsunami. Comment, after comment, after comment. Hurtful, insulting words that had nothing to do with food being thrown on someone…yeah, I heard 'em. I was called them, and it definitely made me feel like a piece of shit.

"What a piece of trash."

"Fugly hoe."

"Ally is _such _a dumbass cow."

I was tired of the comments already, and I wanted them to so badly stop. But they didn't. As I was getting some books from my locker, some kids had a conversation about me. It was a false conversation to lower my self esteem, but I still couldn't stand it.

"Did you know what Ally did?" asked some annoying bitch.

"What?" asked another girl, who had so much time, that she spent it on making fun of someone.

"She told the principal what happened at lunch yesterday."

"What?"

"Mhm."

"She is such a fucking bitch! What a loser."

"Yeah, she must be so desperate to tell someone because there's no one for her to run to. She can't even tell her own mama."

"Lucky mom. She doesn't need to walk on the same ground or breathe the same air as that _skank_."

Finally, they left.

I couldn't stand it any longer. On instinct, I ran to the music room. My locker door was open and all my books were scattered aimlessly on the ground, but I could care less.

Reaching the music room, I flew it open as tears streamed down my face. As if she knew I was coming, Eva ran to me as soon as I opened the door. I didn't notice her coming towards me, and ended up walking past her. Then, the door shut and I turned around to see Eva, crying also. We quickly ran into each other's arms with so much force, it knocked the air out of my lungs. She hugged me tightly as I cried into her shoulder.

"I know, I know," she whispered softly while stroking my hair. I cried longer, probably getting her shoulder wet from all the tears.

I cried for a very long time, and Eva didn't even attempt to move, for which I was extremely grateful. After a while, my tears seemed to go down a bit more, so Eva hesitantly let go of me.

"You okay?" she asked softly, while wiping one of my tears.

I shook my head and looked down at the ground, crying some more.

"Oh, sweetie." She hugged me again, and I quickly returned it.

"That Austin kid is such a jerk for doing that." I nodded into her shoulder.

"Do you know what you should do?" I shook my head, still unable to speak.

"Write the song." She let go of me and smiled timidly.

"Do you want some privacy?" I nodded and her smile quivered slightly.

"Okay," she whispered. Eva let go of me and left the room without another word.

I just stood there alone in the music room as tears silently streamed down my face. No matter what, my life would always end up miserable. Sad memories always over power the happy ones.

Upon realizing this, I crawled into a fetal position on the floor. I was in no mood to continue writing my mother's song. Whenever I write it, I should be happy, not downright miserable to the point where I couldn't function.

Staying in the position as the silence blanketed me, I finally became aware of how alone I was. Eva was with me, yes I know, but she didn't understand. She didn't understand the loss of someone who means so much to you, and she couldn't talk to me about it. No one that I knew could. I bet there is someone out there who knows exactly what I'm talking about, and I would give everything to become friends with them. But I can't. Life would never give me something so magical and wonderful so easily.

Everyone called me names today, but they forgot the most obvious one:

Lonely.

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><p>The bell rang for next period, but I still didn't make any attempt to move from my position. Fortunately my crying died down, and all that was left was my uneven breaths.<p>

I raised my head slowly to be greeted by the blinding light reflecting off all the shiny instruments. It was that rare moment where I had time.

I looked around the very familiar music room. Brass instruments in one corner, strings in another, percussion in the third corner. I've analyzed each instrument one by one before.

At last, it was the last corner filled up by Eva's desk. That was definitely the least thing I observed in this room.

I walked up to her desk gradually. My first impression was that it was very neat, organized, and all tidied up like I expected it to be. She had a cup full of pencils, pens, markers and a stapler right next to them. For some reason, I was most infatuated with the cup of writing utensils.

First, I picked up a yellow pencil. It had a word on it that I couldn't comprehend. I think there was a 'T' and maybe an 'O', and other letters too, but I wasn't too confident to say anything, yet.

I put the pencil back in the cup, then picked up a black and slick looking pen. I clicked it open, then closed. Open, close, open, close. It gone really boring after a while, so I set it back down.

Lastly, a marker. It had a black cap and a grey body. Something was written in cursive on it, and then a long word, then a short word beneath them..

"P," I said aloud, the only letter I could read there.

"T." It was the last letter on the end of the word.

It was a struggle, but I fished reading that word. _Permanent_.

Whenever I heard the word permanent, I automatically thought of the words I've been called and what everyone had done to me: it was permanent damage to my heart, soul, and mind.

I gently pulled the cap off the marker, as if it might break. From the squeaky noise and strong smell, I knew that it was new. Experimentally, I ran the black tip of the marker across the back of my hand. It made a clean, obvious, streak of black.

It was very obvious, and the opposite of what everyone in this world sees. Then, a crazy idea came to my head.

I wrote the most obvious thing that was going on in my head right then and there on the inside of my arm. _I am sad._

I looked at it, then again. It was wrong spelling and wrong letters, but I knew it. However, I liked this idea and I couldn't stop.

I wrote more words on my arm, anything that I could think of. If I couldn't speak what I thought, maybe writing would get the message out. Every emotion that was on my mind and heart was written all over my arm. Alas, there wasn't enough room to write down _every_ emotion I was feeling on _one_ arm, so I found new paces to write. My stomach, legs, and neck were covered in black ink. The only thing that was clear was my face.

My face. The first thing people see. The thing that everyone thinks of when someone says my name. It was the most impressionable out of all my body part, and messy written words wouldn't get the message out right away.

So, I shakily raised the marker underneath my eye, and blindly began drawing black tears coming down my face. Me crying was definitely not enough for the world to know that I was hurt. Black tears, maybe, would be. Then, I repeated the same thing beneath the other eye.

After finishing the tears, I closed my eyes and wrote 'broken' on my forehead, so everyone knew that it was on my mind. Was it written correctly? No fucking idea. Did I give a shit if it was or wasn't? No way.

I closed the cap and set it back down in the cup. Then I walked to the window, and strained my eyes to make out a girl. Whoever this person was, it was definitely not me. She was brave, and beautiful because she knew how to express her emotions in a way people would notice. I smiled for the first time, happy with what I thought of.

I swiftly turned around and faced the door way. I walked towards it confidently and slowly turned the door knob. People would definitely stare, but I could care less. Everything they said about me is now obvious. It was easy to see then, but now it was clearer then ever.

Now maybe they'd take the time to notice what they've done.

Notice what bitches and bastards they really are.

Notice all the emotions they cause me to feel.

Notice how messed up I am because them.

Notice me.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Please read, review, favorite, follow and share! I would be extremely grateful.<strong>

**Don't worry, I didn't forget about what happened with Austin asking Ms. Kowalski to see him at lunch ;)**

**Thank you for supporting me!**

**-Adelyn Roselle.**


	7. Evangeline Kowalski

**What to say, what to say... Oh yeah! I changed this chapter because I'm a weirdooo ;) This chapter... Ally's very OOC; like, it's not even funny. Just a little warning. **Anyway, enjoy chapter six!****

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><p><em>"Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavine<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally and am in no way associated with them._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally's day starts of great when she shows Ms. Kowalski her song, which Eva loves. She happily offers Ally the key to the music room so she could work on the song at lunch, even though Austin says that he needs to see her then. During homeroom, Ally's fiasco at the day before is broadcasted in front of the entire school, causing her much pain. Ally, distressed, starts writing her emotions on her body in permanent marker the music room as metaphor. She leaves the classroom without taking it off.<em>

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><p>I stepped outside confidently, making sure to slam the door as loudly as I could to cause attention. Eva was in front of the music room pacing uncontrollably, but suddenly looked up at the bang of the door.<p>

At the sight of me, she yelped softly.

"What did you do to yourself?" Eva asked harshly.

Her response to what I did, honestly, wasn't too bad. All she did was look at me in horror and surprise. I shrugged it off, for I knew that a reaction like that should have been expected from the moment I started writing on me.

Eva, however, wasn't finished with her rant. "No, seriously Ally. What the hell were you thinking?" I shrugged once more.

"Girl, did you even _think_ about it. You can get ink poisoning because of that!" Eva was being serious… a bit _too_ serious for my liking.

So I didn't reply, instead I just looked at her as if she was the crazy one who had writing all over her.

My silent replies seemed to tick her off like an alarm clock. "Oh my goodness, come with me right now!" she demanded.

She grabbed me by the arm forcefully and pulled me through the hallway to the bathroom. The whole time, everyone that was in hallways stared at me. To be quite frank, I should be used to the staring already, but it was weird because they were staring at me for a reason that never crossed their mind: Ally Dawson drew all over herself.

I smiled because my plan worked. This time, I _chose _to be stared at; I _wanted_ everyone to. Maybe the black marker on my face scared them, or maybe I just looked down right peculiar. Well, none of the reasons mattered to me. I just needed my emotions to be noticed by those who caused them.

We reached the handicapped bathroom, and Eva shoved it open with full force. The handicapped bathroom was for only one person, so it gave us the needed privacy.

Eva roughly pulled the paper towels out of the compartment and wet them with the sink. She proceeded to wipe my face, but my hand stopped her.

"No," I commanded.

"No? You start talking all of a sudden and the first thing you day is 'no'?

"No," I repeated.

Eva rubbed her head with her index finger and thumb, sighing. "Ally, you look like you belong in a freak show."

"Don't I already?" I yelled. "Look at me, Eva, what do you see?"

She pursed her lips closed for a second, then sighed. "I see… a beautiful girl covered in black marker, making her very ugly."

"No, what's written on me!"

"Um… I don't know! Okay, c'mon Ally, this is getting ridiculous." She took the paper towel again and tried to wipe again.

"Stop it!" I screamed. Eva quickly took the towel back.

"_Try_ to read the words," I said a bit calmer.

She sighed then picked up my arm. She muttered under her breath, "Well, I know there's something on your forehead, but I can't read the first letter, so I won't even try." I smirked.

"Okay, the first thing is 'I', right?" asked Eva looking at my arm. I nodded.

"Alrighty then." Eva analyzes it a bit more. "Am, sad… I am sad."

"Yeah, ding ding ding you got a winner," I muttered sarcastically. "That black streaks are words, Eva. Words I've been called, and everything shitty like that. Don't you get it yet? Their words make me ugly, not me."

She didn't reply, so I continued.

"Look, I'm weird, I'm messed up, yeah, I know all of that. But to be honest, I don't give two shits! This makes me happy, okay? I'm in the stage right now where I'd do anything to make me happy; _anything_ to take me out of this deep abyss called depression. And no one, not you, my dad, Austin, _nobody _can tell me to stop."

Eva silently looked at me then shook her head. "Look Ally, I get it. You want to get your depression out of your body. That's cool with me. But the marker gig, that's not working. You needed to explain whatever the hell you did to yourself to me in, like, a whole lecture. People won't ask you what you were trying to do, all they'll do is make assumptions and make fun of you more for it."

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?" I screamed. Out of all people, I thought that she'd support this, not go against it. I was definitely pissed off with her, and I was not taking it well

"Look," she said softly, "it's good that you're expressing yourself, really. And I'm proud of you… now that you told me what's going on. Other people won't know, and that may hurt you more. It's a risk that's going to cost a lot more than what you already have."

She had a point that I didn't see before, and I became extremely embarrassed. I rubbed my hand up and down my shoulder.

"What should I do, then?" I asked softly.

She sighed. "To be honest, hun, I don't know. Try writing your song for your mother, maybe. It might make you happier." I nod in approval.

"Just make sure you clean yourself up," she continues. "Mostly your face."

I groan. "If I remove it, then what was the point of it?" I pout unhappily and cross my arms. "I didn't waste that much marker for nothing."

"Oh trust me, Ally. You made a point. Everyone's already talking about you outside."

"How do you-." I didn't finish. Eva slammed the door wide open to be greeted by the entire student body staring at us with curious expressions across their faces.

"Oh," I managed to say.

"Yeah… this is awkward. Just, um, clean up." She closed the door, leaving me in the perfect privacy of the handicapped bathroom.

This time, I really got to see what I looked like. First impression of me? A mess. The supposed words looked nothing like what I was trying to write. I really just resembled random black lines that had never heard of the word 'pattern' before. Yet, it still brought me joy.

I made a mental note in my head to do this more often.

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><p>I finished cleaning myself… well, sort of. My face was a bit darker, a bit streaky, and it definitely was a pain in the ass to remove. I left my weird writing on my arms, though. It almost resembled a sleeve of tattoos, which I found pretty cool.<p>

I walked out of the bathroom, and thankfully, there was no crowd. Remembering what Eva said, I walked to the music room with curiosity, making me walk even faster.

I knocked on the door, quietly.

"Eva?" I ask. No reply.

"Eva?" I say a little louder. Again, no reply.

I took out the key to the room and opened it slowly, finding no one there. "Eva?" I say again.

I decide that maybe this is one of those rare moments where you have time, so I went to her desk to analyze whatever's on it.

Tracing my finger across the smooth wood, a small pill container in Eva's bag caught my eye. It was very small, but it still stuck out like sore thumb. Let's just say, curiosity got the best of me and I slowly got it.

Now, I may be dyslexic and can't read well, but I knew for certain what that container said: _Prozac_. Prozac was an anti-depressant that I wanted for a long time now. The commercial for it was sometimes of television, and from the moment I heard 'anti-depressant' and 'Prozac' together, I knew that I had to get it.

After letting the information of Eva keeping an anti-depressant sunk in, I was shocked and i couldn't believe it. Maybe there was another answer to this? Oh! I don't know. She was always so happy! Maybe the Prozac was the reason why...

"Hey," says a voice. I turned around to be greeted by Eva who was in the front of the door. I quickly shoved the container of pills behind my back. "Sorry," continues Eva, "I was in the bathroom."

"That's okay."

"So, thought of anything for the song yet?" she asks, closing the door behind her.

"Um, not yet. I'm trying to." Eva walks a bit closer to me, and out of instinct, I quickly step back.

Eva raises an eyebrow. "Is everything okay, Ally?

"Yeah, yeah everything's totally fine." Before I have a chance to think about what I'm saying, I blurt something out. "The question is, are you okay?" I clamp my hand over my mouth, causing the pills to fall to the ground in a dramatic motion.

Eva's eyes go wide when she sees the pills. "Ally? Were you going through my stuff?" she asked, shocked and hurt.

"That's not the point!" I pick up the anti-depressant from the floor quickly and hold it out. "Why the hell do you have this?" I ask angrily.

"Ally, give that back," she says forcefully through gritted teeth.

"No! Not until you answer my question," I say. Wow, I've never been this headstrong.

"Ally,that does not concern you whatsoever! I asked you why you were going through my stuff first, anyway!" yells Eva. "Now give me back the pills!"

"No!" I scream.

"Stop being so stubborn!" she screams back.

"I want them!" I scream quickly. My voice shook and quivered slightly out of rage. I took a deep breath. "I want them," I say a bit more calmer.

"No." Her face went to angry then to serious in a matter of seconds that it could win a prize.

"Well, look who's being stubborn now?" I bight back.

"You are! _You_ are being stubborn and sassy and a bitch. What happened all of a sudden? What the hell has gotten into you?" asks an angry Ms. Kowalski.

"I don't know!" I say frustrated. "The bullying, maybe? My mother's letter? Maybe it's just too much to handle in one day, I don't know! That's the reason why I need these pills!"

"Ally, you will never and I mean _never_ get those pills. I swear on my god damned life."

Ignoring her remark, I open the cap. "Ally don't you dare take one," growls Eva. I slowly pour one onto my hand. "Stop it now!" she commands. Eva begins walking towards me.

I hold out my free hand. "Stop walking, or I'll tell the principal you gave a student drugs," I threaten.

Eva gasps, and her eyes go wide in shock. "I never gave a good student drugs," she whispered.

"I know, but these are yours, and I'm sure Ms. Bennett would _love _to know that you brought some anti-depressants to school," I say sarcastically. Eva's nose was flared, and her mouth was carved into a nasty scowl.

"Let me take them, Eva," I continue, "I won't get depressed, and you won't get fired. Everyone wins." She stays silent, lips now pursed tightly together.

And before I know it, I swallow one. Eva cringes as if I've done a horrendous deed.

"You've taken your pill, now give them back," she whispers.

They felt nice, though, and I wanted more of them. "No," I say stubbornly.

"It's bad that I already gave you some!"

"Just let me keep the drugs!" I whisper harshly.

Then all of a sudden, her eyes go wide. "I just gave you drugs," she whispered, almost inaudibly. Her eyes got bigger, and I was afraid that she might cry. The nice and comforting side of me overpowered my bitchy one at the sight of Eva almost crying.

"No, no," I say quickly. "You didn't give me one! I took it myself."

"I gave my student drugs," she repeated, except louder.

"Eva, please be quiet," I say desperately. "Someone might hear you. You could lose your job."

"I gave my student drugs," she repeated again.

"You didn't give me drugs, Eva! I took them and I'm sorry. I regret it. Now please shut up before this gets out of hand!"

"No! I can't just 'shut up'! All of this is bad! All of it! You and I shouldn't even be talking about drugs, and I let you take one! I let my favorite student take a drug! And I knew it was wrong too, but I didn't do anything about it!" she yells. And all of a sudden, she bursts.

Eva starts kicking some chairs and flipping tables as I stood there in shock. But honestly, what could I do about it? Never in my two years have I seen her freak out so much.

"Ms. Evangeline Kowalski!" barks Ms. Bennett. We both turn around, shocked, and face her. "What on earth do you think you're doing?" Eva doesn't reply.

Then she turns her head to face me. "And Allison Dawson! Aren't you supposed to be class?"

"I-I," I stutter.

"Come with me," says Ms. Bennett sternly. Then, she looks at Eva. "I will see you after." Eva nods her head slowly, in shame and embarrassment.

The principal then grabs me by the arm and drags me to her room.

* * *

><p>"What on earth has gotten into you?" asks Ms. Bennett. She looks likes she's trying so hard to be calm and collected, but it's failing quickly and I could totally sense it. The sad part was that she could sense it too.<p>

I told the principal about me drawing on myself and skipping classes, and she quickly flipped out. I didn't tell her about the prozac, however. If I did... I don't even want to think about it.

"You were such a wonderful student, Allison! Now, you're drawing on yourself, skipping classes, and arguing with teachers!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Bennett, if Ms. Kowalski and I disrupted anything. We surely didn't mean too," I apologize with sincerity.

She sighs. "I know, Ms. Dawson. Apology accepted. But I'm just a bit frustrated. You have far below average grades, and you can't afford to skip any classes! I didn't expect you to be the one to cause trouble."

I sink down in the chair in shame, not having a response to what she just said.

She sighs guiltily. "I should also apologize, Ms. Dawson," continues Ms. Bennett. I sit up a little straighter, wanting to hear what she had to say. "I saw the shenanigans that went on during the announcements this morning. It gives me proof about what happened with you and Austin at lunch yesterday. When I saw the video clip, I first felt extremely disappointed and angry with Mr. Moon, but felt very guilty at the same time for not believing you. Don't worry, Austin will make up for his actions."

"Thank you," I whisper softly. Woohoo! Justice just got _served_!

"You didn't let me finish," continues Ms. Bennett. Oh, of_ course_ they can't always end there. "As a result of your actions today, you will be serving Saturday detentions for exactly one month."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry I have to do this to you, Allison, but your actions must be punished."

"I understand," I sigh.

"Excellent. Now go to class. I must be with another student."

I get up from my chair, apologize once more, and then leave the principal's room, shutting the door quietly. I turn my head to the side to see a familiar mess of blonde hair, slouching on the bench next to Ms. Bennett's office.

"What are you looking at?" says Austin with disgust.

I quickly walk away to my locker, obviously intimidated. As I get my books I look down the hallway to see Eva crying, as some random teachers "try" and comfort her for a reason they don't know.

Hopefully, she's okay.

I pulled on a sweater, that I conveniently had in my locker, to cover up my arm tattoos that were still on me, and left to go face the rest of the day with a mood that was neither sad nor happy.

* * *

><p>The next day, I came to school and hour early. The first thing I did was go to the music room to take care of some business with Eva, but surprisingly, she wasn't there.<p>

"If you're looking for Ms. Kowalski, she isn't here." I turned around to see Austin leaning against the door, arms crossed. There were no emotions on his face, and I couldn't help but wonder how he did that.

"Where is she?" I asked.

He stood up a bit straighter, and sighed. "She was fired for giving a student drugs."

I gasped. Ms. Bennett must have heard us yelling! Oh, man! What the hell is the principal going to do to me?

"Who-who, was the student?" I asked softly.

Austin shrugged. "Don't know. All I remember was she barging into my meeting with Ms. Bennett saying that she gave some student drugs." He shuddered slightly.

"What happened after that?" I asked slowly.

"I don't know, Bennett told me to leave and wait outside. When Kowalski came out, I asked her what happened."

"Oh."

"I better go. I don't want to be associated with you."

Austin left me there in the music room as I cried in my head. I was definitely upset, but I couldn't cry for some reason. Suddenly, I got inspiration and spent the rest of the hour writing my song.

_I can't sleep tonight, wide awake and so confused_

_Everything's in line, but I am bruised_

_I need a voice to echo, I need a light to take me home_

_I kinda need a hero, is it you?_

Silence comes except for my heavy breathing.

"That's beautiful." I turn around and see Eva standing at the door way.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I still work here until they find a replacement."

"Oh."

"That was really something," compliments Eva. "You gotta knack for writing songs."

"Thank you... _Evangeline_." I wiggle my eyebrows and smirk. "I never knew your name was Evangeline."

Eva smiles. "Yeah, I never liked the name for some reason, though. It seems like a name that should take place during the Renaissance."

I laugh at her poor attempt of lightening the mood, that surprisingly lightened the mood. She probably wanted to forget what happened yesterday.

She sighs. "You know I'm still the same person, right? I never changed... you just saw a part of me that no one ever sees. You're okay with that, right?"

I nod. "A lot of people haven't seen all the sides to me either."

"I'm still your friend?" she asks instead of stating it.

"My best friend," I agree. "But do I still get to keep the music room key?"

She nods her head and laughs lightly. "Of course. And by the way, I'm not leaving anytime soon. Bennett said I'll be here until they find my replacement."

"Oh! Great." Then, I think of something that I should've said a long time ago. "I'm sorry. For taking... you know, and being a stubborn bitch about it," I apologize softly. She didn't need for me to go into detail because she nodded curtly.

"You're okay, kid." She ruffles my hair and smiles. "Now get to class before you get me in trouble because you're late."

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><p>If you wanted to know what was going on with her and Austin in the previous chapter, I'm sorry. The story's usually placed in Ally's point of view, but there might be that one random day that I'll do it in someone else's. Anyway, you won't find out what's going on between them until the later chapters. :( I know, I want you to find out what it is too.<p>

Thank you guys again! Please read, review, follow, favorite and share! I'd be extremely grateful!

I absolutely love getting _any _reviews!

Love you all! -Adelyn Roselle


	8. That rule we learned in Kindergarten

**I feel like Ally's dad really doesn't have enough parts, so I added him in this chapter. **

** Sorry for the wait by the way! I'm really awake so I'm probably going to write chapter nine tonight... at three in the morning... even though I need to go to the gym at eight... Wow, chapter nine. I've written nine chapters; that's so hard for me to believe. **

**Okay, I think that's it! See you at the bottom of the page!**

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><p>"Where is the Love?" By, The Black Eyed Peas (who else misses them?)<p>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally and I am in no way associated with them. I also do not own any of the products mentioned in this story._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Eva doesn't like the idea of Ally writing on herself and demands her to wash it off because she believes she looks weird. Ally does so, reluctantly, and goes to the music room when she finished. There, Ally sees a bottle of anti-depressants in Ms. Kowalski's bag and wants to take them. Eva tries to stop her but Ally threatens to tell the principal about the drugs. Ally then takes a pill. Soon, Eva realizes that she let Ally take drugs and makes an outburst because she knew it was wrong and didn't do anything about it. Ms. Bennett interrupts the commotion and gives Ally Saturday detentions for one month. Not for the drugs, but for skipping class. The next day, Ally writes the next part of her song, and Austin informs her that Ms. Kowalski has been fired. Ms. Kowalski comes in and adds that she will be staying until they find her a replacement.<em>

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><p>I went about my day normally, well, as normal as I could get by. It's not like my best friend got fired from her job because of me… note my sarcasm. Anyway, rumors can't stop, and I learned that the hard way.<p>

There were more whispers, stares, and poorly disguised laughing when I walked in the hallway. It's hard to walk alone in a corridor with people laughing and talking about me in a negative way. This seems to make me more alert of my surroundings, the exact opposite of what I want to do. I don't understand why they can't understand that being dyslexic is something I can't stop. It seriously hurts every part of my soul.

I opened my locker, and a small piece of paper fluttered down to the ground. I could literally feel the stares of everyone around me burning into my back. Then, I picked it up and opened it, which was something I totally regretted after reading the two simple words: _dyslexic dyke._

Wait, I'm a dyke? Ever since when! I don't recall anything with me being with another woman… oh wait. Ms. Kowalski… shit. We were in the private bathroom together yesterday to wash off all the black marker. Out of all rumors, must it involve my only friend!

I stormed to the first girl I saw, and it just so happened to be Austin's _very_ close friend, Marilyn. She was a bitch, and everyone knew it. But for some reason, everyone loved her. She was that stereotypical popular girl that's in every movie and whoever watches it, despises her. She was one of those annoying girls who overused the word 'like' too much, who'd only go to Starbucks to get some coffee, who wore high heels to school and a mini skirt like she was going to a damn movie premiere, who wore her Gucci shades in the hallway, and who disrupts every _single _class with her stupid, annoying heels. _  
><em>

I approached her, causing attention from the people around me. "What is this?" I say angrily, waving the note in front of her face.

"Oh! It seemed like you could read it. That's good. I was debating whether I should give it to you or not because it might hurt your fragile ego, but then I realized you couldn't read, so I was, like, what's the diff?" What the hell did she just say to me?

"I most certainly can read this," I say as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It has my disorder written on it, and 'dyke' is definitely something I could read."

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day where Dawson would actually talk!" says Marilyn with fake enthusiasm. "Great step from Kindergarten, Dawson. Keep it up!" And then the bitch flipped her hair, and clicked her obnoxious stilettos down the hallway.

My blood boiled in anger. And before I knew it, I was already screaming. "I've always been able to talk, but maybe you're the one who's just to _dumb_ to realize it!"

The clicking stopped, and Marilyn pivoted smoothly on her heel. She started charging towards me before I could even react to it.

"Now you listen, Dawson," she spits. "I'm a girl. You're a girl, okay? And I won't hold myself back when it comes to hurting you, understand? So watch what you say or before you know it I'll make your life more miserable then it already is." Wow. Aren't I experiencing some déjà vu.

"Marilyn, that's my job," says Austin. I turn my head to see him with his hands in his pocket, as if this argument was quite nonchalant.

"Austy!" smiles Marilyn. "I didn't see you," she says happily.

Austin didn't return the smile. "Don't go stealing my job like how you steal boy's hearts."

Her smile faded, and her lips formed a tight line. "Oooh," cooed the immature group of students watching the little cat fight.

"Fine," huffed Marilyn, and she walked away from us with her heels obnoxiously clicking on the hallway floor.

"Um, thank you," I mutter as soon as she's gone.

"Whatever. I don't like you, and don't respect any bit you," Austin says bitterly.

"Gee. Thanks."

"But don't get in the girl's way. She _will_ murder if she has too." He then forms a sick smile and lifts my head dangerously close to his face.

"I never really liked sharing my prey, especially when it comes to killing it. Where would be the fun in that?" he whispered, in a deadly and terrifying way. I gulped with intense fear. That reaction seemed to please him quite a bit, so he left me without another word, satisfied because he just killed his prey.

* * *

><p>"Pass this to Ally," whispers a girl.<p>

"Pass this to Ally," says another.

"Okay," says the last. And as already expected, a note is slid onto my desk, folded neatly in a perfect trap.

I didn't want to open it… not one bit. But I did anyway, and gosh did I regret it. I really needed to stop reading notes I get.

_We know about your little stunt. You're not some innocent girl that everyone expects. We saw you and Ms. Kowalski together in a bathroom, and the pills in your locker. Watch where you go… because we certainly are. Good thing too because all you are is a dysfunctional bitch. Fuck yourself and go die. _

It was a stupid note that really shouldn't have bothered me. However, 'the go die' part, just pushed me off the cliff of tranquility and into the pit of melancholy, effectively killing the inside of me in a fiery way.

My bottom lip quivered vigorously reading the horrible words the girls called me. I had to bite my lip just so the quivering could stop. But, I wasn't going to cry, yet I wanted to so badly. Then again, at the same time I didn't because crying gets really tiring after doing so everyday.

Thankfully, the bell rang and a loud eruption of laughs burst in front of me. I looked up and saw Marilyn laughing with some other girls, doing a horrible job of giggling discreetly. Austin, who also sat in front of me, was right next to her snickering quietly.

I reread the letter, then my eyes widened when I realized that I missed the most important thing on the note. _They saw it… the drugs._ Oh shit. How did they even get into my locker?

My lip quivering became stronger and this time, I didn't attempt to stop it. My palms began to sweat, I felt oddly pale, and I couldn't stop fidgeting. They had something to black mail with me now, and I couldn't do anything about it without hurting myself or anyone I loved in the process. Did they already win without dealing with much of a fight? Am I really that weak?

* * *

><p>When I got home, I realized I hadn't told my father about the Saturday detentions. He'd get mad, but what could I actually do about it? Might as well come clean, or I'd have no ride to get to school.<p>

"Hey, um, dad?" I asked reluctantly. He was sitting at the counter table, reading a newspaper... I sighed. I wish I could do that. Then he leisurely sipped his coffee, still not acknowledging my presence.

"Dad," I said again louder.

"Yeah... Alls?" he asked as if he forgot my name.

"Um, yeah," I replied, a bit worried about his tone of vice, but I continued anyway. "Listen." He stopped reading his newspaper and looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

No. "Uh-huh, everything's fine," I stalled. "It's just that, I, uh, kind of got in trouble."

"In trouble?" he repeated.

"Yeah. And um, I got Saturday detentions," I muttered softly.

My dad's eyes widened. "Saturday detentions?" he asked in surprise. I looked down in shame. "What did you do?"

"I accidentally skipped class," I murmured under my breath softly.

"How can you 'accidentally' skip class?" he asked with confusion.

"I was talking to one of my friends and I got carried away and lost track of time," I said quickly, shrugging.

He sighed then rubbed his head. "Okay, okay. So let me get this straight. You got Saturday detentions because you skipped class due to the fact you were talking to your friend?" he said in disbelief. I nodded in embarrassment.

He exhaled once more then shook his head in disapproval. "Okay, fine. I guess the detentions are already your punishment. Do I have to sign anything?"

"Um, no," I replied, remembering Ms. Bennett never gave me a piece of paper that she wanted my father to sign.

"Okay. I'll drive you to school on Saturday, then," he muttered softly. Then he went back to reading his newspaper and continued to sip his coffee.

* * *

><p>I woke up on Saturday morning with a sense of freedom because of no school, which meant no bullying. But it quickly diminished when I remembered I had Saturday detentions. <em>Shit. <em>Must my life get in the way of my own happiness?

I ran my fingers through my hair, and stretched looking out the window; it was beautiful outside. A normal kid would maybe, I don't know, play or hang out with friends or something normal like that. While I'm stuck in a hell hole sitting at a desk doing absolutely nothing for four hours... not to mention I'm also going to be alone.

I put on whatever clothes that were laying on the floor, and oh my god, did they smell bad... oh well. Then, I saw something shine in the corner of my eye on my vanity table. _A blade._

It was sitting there, tempting me to take it. I mean, it wouldn't do that much damage, right? No one would care if I started again... So, I reluctantly picked it up and gently placed it in my back pocket.

My father was already downstairs, but he was walking around aimlessly as if he was lost.

"Dad?" He stopped walking, and furrowed his eyebrows together. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just forgot where I put my keys," he muttered while he continued to look for it like a mouse trying to find cheese.

"It's on the new key holder," I replied. "You know, in the laundry room."

"We have a new key holder?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... we do. You put one up, I think last month."

"I-I thought I put it in my drawer?" he said again, questioning himself.

"Yeah, you _used_ to. But then your drawer got cluttered and you made a key holder to organize it."

Now he was the one to raise an eyebrow. "I did?"

"Yeah," I said confidently. I walked into the laundry room, and there was my dad's key, laying perfectly still on the holder. "It's here, dad."

He came int the laundry room, then huffed. "Oh. I must've forgotten."

I smirked. "I guess you did. Now can you please drive me? I'm going to be late."

* * *

><p>Upon arriving at school, it gave a different aura when it was silent. So silent, you could hear the leaves blowing in the wind as it whistles. I liked it much more than the noisy school that's filled with people you hate who also hate you back.<p>

I entered the school by myself after kissing my father hastily on the cheek. The receptionist looked up at me as soon as I rung the bell.

"Allison Dawson?" she asked. I nodded. "I prefer Ally, by the way," I corrected.

"Ally... ah, yes. Ms. Bennett said you were here for writing on yourself and skipping class," she remarks.

I honestly didn't want to hear about what I did, I just wanted to get on with it. "You've never been to Saturday detentions before. I've never seen your face," comments the annoying receptionist.

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess not. Where do I go?"

"Room 301. You know where that is, right?" I nodded again like a robot. Well, the funny thing is, I didn't know this school even had a room 301.

So, I wandered around the school aimlessly, not knowing where to go. There were some teachers, yes, but none of them acknowledged me. After getting bored of walking, I went to the only place that I knew I would always be welcomed.

The door was locked, and when I looked through the window on the door, it was dark in there. So I located my locker, got the key, then proceeded to open it. For the first time in forever, I felt like an unwanted guest in the music room. There really was no purpose for me to be here, but whenever there's nowhere to go, this is my only option.

I walked in and slowly ambulated through the dark, making sure to close the door. The darkness gave the room a mysterious and weird feeling. The blue, heavy curtains that draped over the walls, even added more to the affect. When I looked down, the white tile floors that were smudged from shoes, totally ruined it, but the instruments were sparkling in the dim light from the hallway made the appearance of stars.

For some reason, I wanted to pull the blue curtains open. I don't know why, but there was this gut feeling telling me I should. When I did so, I was glad Eva had curtains and her reason being. The walls were butt ugly. They were stained yellow with chipped paint covering inches of it. After many years of paining it over and over again, it must get tiring so they just put curtains over it. The curtains look nice with it, so it's okay to have them.

But then, a small closet all the way at the bottom of the wall caught my eye. It was small enough that someone my height wouldn't even notice it if they just looked straight ahead. But the closet was large enough to maybe put, I don't know, probably a small safe, and that's it. What's the purpose of having this, anyway?

My curiosity took over me once more, and I decided to open it. The door squeaked open, and dust covered every centimeter of the small compartment. I cleaned it with my hands, then rubbed the dust on my pants. To be honest, I could care less if I got my hands or pants dirty, they already were anyway.

It was cool to find something like this, but I didn't know what to do with it. I sat on my knees, and felt a hard metal press against my butt. Reaching into my back pocket and carefully pulling the blade out, I realized what I could put in there... and how useful it may be.

"Ms.?" I quickly shut the door after putting the blade inside. The janitor appeared at the doorway and turned on the lights. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh, I was just um, looking around the room. Saturday detention," I said nervously.

"Well okay. How did you get in here? All doors are locked."

"Well this one was open," I lied quickly.

"Oh. Okay. Well I'm just going to clean up the place if you don't mind."

"I was just actually leaving... Do you mind telling me where room 301 is?"

* * *

><p>When I got there, I did not know what the hell this room was for. I never been in it, and didn't recognize it at all.<p>

No one was there, so I just sat there at a random desk, waiting for the four hours to be over.

I was about to lay my head on the desk, when a voice interrupted me. I jerked my head upwards and saw Ms. Bennett.

"Ms. Bennett," I said gruelingly, "sorry. I was just-."

"No, no, you're fine," she interjected again, "but there's supposed to be another student."

"Another student?" I asked.

"Yes. I think he'll be here shortly." She comes into the classroom and sits down on a rolling chair. "You do realize you don't have to stay in this room the whole time."

"I don't?" I asked, sitting up a bit straighter.

The principal shook her head. "Yeah, you can go around the school if you want, just leave everything where it's supposed to be when you finish, and you're good."

"Oh cool." I attempt to stand up, but she put her hand out.

"Hold on. Wait for the other student, and then you can go. I just want you to know who he is first." _The other student_. I already hated him for being late to Saturday detentions. I mean, seriously. If you're in trouble, deal with the punishment so you won't get into deeper trouble. It's only one of the most basic rule of school.

Then a tall figured leisurely walked through the door, and I knew I already hated him. Too bad he hates me more.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," muttered Austin under his breath.

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><p><strong>Haha. Pretty pathetic cliff hanger! I'm going to try and update a bit quicker now which is good… the parts I'm dying for you to read are coming up, finally! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do :)<strong>

**Please read, review, follow, favorite and share! I would be extremely grateful!**

**Thank you again! I love every single one of you!**

**-Adelyn Roselle.**


	9. They're hidden talents for a reason

**Wow... another chapter the day after I post one. I really need to get a life. Haha, JK. I prefer being here then going to one of my classmates party. **

**Well, there's not really much to say about this chapter that I'd need to explain... it's just that it's pretty short, I guess. **

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews that I got on the previous chapter by the way! I absolutely loved reading them!**

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><p>"<em>Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labyrinth featuring Emeli Sande<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally and I am in no way associated with them. I also do not own any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in the story._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally is threatened by one of Austin's girlfriends, Marilyn. Marilyn tells Ally that she knows about the pills, and rumors that she is gay because she hangs out with Ms. Kowalski all the time. Ally tells her father about Saturday detentions so he can drive her to the school. At school, she puts one of her blades in a compartment in the music room. She also learns that Austin also has Saturday detentions.<em>

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><p>"This is her?" Austin exclaims, pointing at me. "She, as in <em>Allison Dawson,<em> is the nice girl you were talking about?" His other hand that wasn't accusing me was curled up in a tight ball, knuckles white.

"Yes," says Ms. Bennett calmly.

"Wait a darn minute," I say standing up, joining the conversation, "you never told me that I had to spend time with someone else, especially someone I hate! Not to mention he's the one who personally torments me."

"I know. I was afraid if I told you about Austin, you would argue," replies the principal.

"I would've definitely argued!"

"See!" interrupts Austin. "She is _not_ a nice girl.'

"Me?" I say unbelievably. Oh… he has balls to say that _I'm_ the one who's not nice. "I, as in Ally Dawson, isn't the nice one?" I yell.

"You're talking back to a superior," he says as if _he _was a superior.

"Me? You hypocrite! You've talked back to a superior ten times more than I ever had!"

"Really? Name one time," he dares.

"I can't because there's _way _too many to count!"

"If you could count!"

"Do you want to go there?" I growl.

"_Enough!_" yells Ms. Bennett.

Suddenly, I was snapped back into reality. Austin's nose was brushed against mine and our breaths were heavy in hot rage. Oh my God. We were sharing the same air!

I quickly stepped back from our positions, effectively snapping Austin out of out trance too. We both looked at Ms. Bennett who had a smirk slapped on her face.

"You two could be really good friends if you tried," she said wisely.

Me, and _him_… _friends?_ Yeah, I don't think so. And by the way Austin scoffed incredulously, I'm sure he agreed with me too.

"That is why," continued Ms. Bennett, "I put you in the same Saturday detentions."

"You did this on purpose?" asked Austin in disbelief.

"Yeah, no kidding captain obvious," I noted sarcastically.

"This way," continued the principal, ignoring our mini fight, "you two are forced to interact. I'm sorry for doing this, but maybe this would be a great way to get to know each other better without the pressure from your peers." An awkward silence came.

"At the end of the month, I'll meet up with you guys and you'll tell me what you've learned from each other, alright? Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Ms. Bennett then leaves the room, leaving Austin and I by ourselves. We stared at each other in the quiet of room 301, not quite sure what to do or say. But the silence can't always last forever.

"I refuse to hang out with you," states Austin in a clear way.

"Gee thanks for making me feel even more miserable then I already am," I mutter sarcastically.

"I think it would be a lot easier," continues Austin, ignoring my remark, "if we would just ignore each other this whole time. I hate being here, and me being stuck with you just made this hell."

"It was already hell for me even before you got here. How do you think I feel now?"

"Well if you hate me and this school so much then why don't you just leave?"

"Because I can't you asshole!" I yell. "My father drove me here and I still don't know how to get home because if you haven't noticed, I still can't tell my left from right."

Austin looks at me for a long, hard time, as if he was mentally debating whether he should do something or not. In the end, he just turns around and leaves me alone in room 301.

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><p>I roamed around the hallways aimlessly, trying to figure out what to do with my life right now. And then I heard it. A Piano. Music. <em>Beautiful<em> piano music. Someone was playing a piece I couldn't play even if I tried. I immediately recognized the song was "Clare De Lune" by Debussy. My mother used to play it sometimes around the house; it was her favorite song at one time. And I couldn't help but wonder who was playing the beautiful piece of music that reminded me of my dearly loved one.

The only place in this entire school that had a piano was the music room. I went straight to it in a hurry, following the beautiful noise, but as I reached the door, it stopped. My hand quickly left the cold door knob, and I quickly ran away to the nearest corner. The piano screeched on the tile floor in the room, and footsteps were heard.

My heart nearly stopped. It took me by surprise. I couldn't believe it that I had to blink multiple times to make sure I was seeing who I was seeing.

Austin.

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><p>Holy shit. <em>Holy shit!<em> He-he, wait what? When did Austin ever learn how to play piano? Better yet, how? Why? Where?

When he stepped out of the music room, I was even in more of a shock. He seemed… torn apart. He looked like me when my mother died, except maybe worst…if that's even possible. I was so afraid that he might cry, I almost exposed my location so I could go up and hug him. His face was red and he bit his bottom lip tightly; it was the only time I saw his so vulnerable, that it almost scared me. Austin looked down, and one single drip of water fell from his eye.

I still was still in shock after he left, that I couldn't even move. But luckily, he went the opposite direction I was.

Austin, as in _the_ Austin Moon, knew how to play the piano… better than I can! Probably better than any student in the entire school.

Then it hit me. _Austin and I have something in common. _Oh my goodness… I thought I'd never see the day. But then I realized that wasn't all we shared. We have two things in common: Music and we cried because of it.

Later in detention, Austin and I exchanged glances when we were walking down the hallway. It was as if it was in slow motion because after that, he realized I knew everything; he knew I heard him. His eyes widened and he quickly walked away from me with his head hung low in shame. I didn't understand why he would want to hide his talent. I mean, it was just so beautiful. This was meant to be shared with all. Maybe people wouldn't see him as just this jerky jock who had nothing better to do than to make fun of people and share saliva with Marilyn Davis.

I'd take the 'Austin who plays the piano' over the 'one everyone knows him as' any day.

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><p>Finally, it was the end of Saturday hell. What seemed to be four hours felt like four days to me.<p>

I waited patiently outside the front of the school, looking for my father's car. And suddenly, the door swung open behind me. Austin rushed past me and went to his car quickly, swinging the door shut as soon as he got it. Then he sped off going to who knows where. He probably didn't even notice I was sitting there.

Seconds ticked to minutes, minutes ticked to what seemed to be hours, and my father still hadn't arrived.

I was worried by then, as I impatiently tapped my foot on the ground. The receptionist already left, but I told her my father was just a bit late. Haha. A bit late. More like a day late. I started playing with the hem of my shirt, crying because I might not get home.

"What are you still doing here?" I looked up and saw Austin, towering over me.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I say wiping my tears gently. "I'm waiting for my dad to pick me up."

"Well, your daddy's thirty minutes late."

"Don't you think I know that!" I snap. "He forgot about me," I mutter softly.

Austin rolls his eyes and groans. "Come on."

"Come on… where?" I ask suspiciously.

"In my car, stupid."

"I'm not getting in your car!" I refuse. He could lead me somewhere dangerous, or someplace to humiliate me.

"I'm not going to hurt you," replied Austin, as if he read my mind. I looked into his eyes, to see if he was lying, but all that was there was sincerity and annoyance. But I still wasn't convinced.

"How would I know?" I ask, standing up.

He sighs, and his hazel eyes lock with mine. "I don't hurt people when I have to," he says in all seriousness.

I wanted to laugh. He doesn't hurt people? Okay, _sure_… "Really?" I ask incredulously. "_You_ don't hurt people? I literally-."

"Do you want to get home or not?" he interrupts impatiently.

I mentally debate in my head whether to trust him or not, but I ended up deciding to trust him for some reason.

I sigh. "Fine."

We get in his fancy sports car, and he drives away from the school slowly. His hand was gripped tightly on the wheel, knuckles white from holding onto it so tightly. It was absolutely silent, and I hated it.

"I heard you, you know," I say breaking the quietness. Austin's hand turns even whiter, if that's even possible, and he starts to drive faster.

"I don't understand," I continue, "it was beautiful." He accelerates even faster.

"It was amazing, Austin. I don't know why you'd hide such a thing. It can bring lots of good in your life."

"It did the exact opposite to my life!" he screams loudly. I cringe at his outburst.

"Do not mention this to anyone, Ally! Just, don't please. Okay? Listen to me. I'm begging you right now, and we all know that it's a very rare moment in time for me to beg, _especially_ to someone like you. You never heard anything. You never heard me playing the piano, and we don't go to Saturday detentions together, and we never interacted. Got it?" His face was red from rage, and I was one hundred percent, utterly, _terrified_. He looked dangerous, wild, and down right fucking crazy. To think it was all because of one of the calmest piano pieces that's out there.

He dropped me off at my house, and we didn't exchange another word to each other; not even a mere goodbye. Austin sped off, screeching loudly, and just left me with my hand waving goodbye slowly.

I walked up my front steps, surprised to see my door already unlocked. And to my surprise, my father was reading a newspaper and drinking coffee.

"Dad!" I yell angrily. He looks up from his newspaper, then at his watch.

"Ugh, I forgot to pick you up from school! I knew I was forgetting something. Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart," he apologizes.

"Really? I waited outside for a half hour!" I yell.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I just lost track of time."

"You forgot me," I cried.

"I know honey, and I'm sorry." My father did look really sincere and very apologetic, and I gave in.

"It's not alright, but I forgive you," I apologize.

"Thank you." He kisses the top of my head. "How did you get home, then?"

"Um, well… I got a ride home from a…" What do I call Austin? Friend, definitely know. He still hates me. Enemy? Well, no because that'd just get my dad worried.

"Acquaintance." Yeah, an acquaintance.

My father looks at me skeptically. "He was a very nice boy!" I defend. Then I realized my horrible mistake.

"Boy?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. He just dropped me off. That's it. We're not even that close," I assured nervously.

"Well… okay. Was he at least nice?"

"…Yes." And I meant it.

I go upstairs to my room and plop down on my bed. It was a crazy, abnormal Saturday, that it almost didn't seem real. For example, I went to my first Saturday detention, Austin ended up being there, then I heard him play the piano, beautifully is I might add… like, what is going on with the world? And the sad part out of all of this is that neither of those things were on my mind. The question was, how did he know where my house was?

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><p><strong>Haha, Austin's a stalker. Anyway, I really need to do homework right now, but I really had the strong urge to update. Oh shoot… it's 2:30. I need to finish four assignments by seven. <strong>

**Finally, I got my whole plot line down. I was so organized when I started, but I know what's gonna happen and I'm really excited! **

**Please read, review, follow, favorite and share! I would be extremely grateful!**

**Thank you again!**

**-Adelyn Roselle.**


	10. Secrets: Part 1

**Hello people of the world-wide internet! It feels like I haven't updated in forever when it's only been one week. I've been pretty busy the whole week, and I didn't get much time to go write, sadly. Updates will probably come every Saturday or Sunday because I am so frickin' occupied with tennis, schoolwork, extra curricular activities and other crap like that. So, yeah. Sorry. But I promise to write at least one chapter every week because I am going to finish this story in one year… hopefully. Sorry for the long author's note.**

**PS Thank you AusllyGirl123 because this was a well deserved shout out. And thank you for our very interesting conversation.**

**I'd put more shout outs, but some people get annoyed by this ish... so yeah. A lot of you guys deserve them.**

**Oh, and BT-dubbs, get excited for this chapter because it's Austin's point of view. Please enjoy it like I enjoyed writing it :) Sorry it's pretty short because the time span is from, like, when Austin wakes up, to when he starts school. LOL.**

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><p>"<em>Blank Page" by Christina Aguilera<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally and I am in no way associated them. I also do not own any of the artists, products, etc. mentioned in this story_

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ms. Bennett says that she purposely put Austin and Ally in the same detentions together so no more fighting would be present between the two, much to their dismay. Austin decides that he won't stay with Ally and ignores her for the rest of the detention. During that time period, Ally overhears Austin playing the piano<em>

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><p>**Austin**<p>

Monday. I hate Monday's. Typical for a guy to hate them, I guess.

The sun broke through the blinds of my room, effectively waking me up without an alarm clock. I get up from my bed and change into some rich, and fancy clothing that I really didn't need, but received from my oh so generous parents. I'd be grateful, but living in a world with riches and spoils, it seems quite normal to get everything you wanted even though it's not necessary.

Yes, people believe that I want this expensive shit that they say that I must always wear for it's in my "image", but the hard, cold truth is that I don't. All I really want are some clothes to wear. Some fancy cologne, a fancy car, and a fancy house are just a big pluses to everything.

I go downstairs tiringly, to be greeted by my father, who was watching television; the news to be exact.

Without looking back, he greets me warmly. "Hey, Austin," he says enthusiastically.

"Hey," I reply without returning the enthusiasm.

As if I said a joke, he chuckles softly. "Have fun at school, alright kiddo? Need anything, just call." He then turns around and looks at me with sincerity. "We got you, okay? We're always there."

I rolled my eyes at his over protectiveness. "Yeah, okay. I'll be fine, don't worry about me."

"I was just making sure-."

"I'll be fine," I assure once more.

"Okay then," he says unbelievingly. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"Um, no I'll be okay."

"Well then, have a good day," he says cheerily.

"Bye." I walk out the door, the breeze gently messing up my hair.

When I go outside, it was a lot cooler than I expected it to be. A jacket would definitely be appropriate for this weather, but I could care less. If I became sick, my father would get a good doctor, and then get me what I needed. Just that simple.

I get in inside my car, and speed away from the huge house with a lot of things on my mind from past occurrences.

One example is that I spent my time, not to mention _a lot _of my time, with Ally Dawson… and will have to keep on wasting it on her for one whole month. Then I'd need to find out useless crap about her that I really didn't want to know, and the worst part of it all is that it all goes down on Saturday morning where I could be hanging out with the people from school or sleeping in.

Speaking of Allison Dawson. No one knows how much I _despise_ that girl for I can literally pin point everything I hate about her, but now really isn't the time to ramble on.

Because to describe Ally Dawson is to describe a fucking mess. Her hair is always down, uncombed, and a bit frizzy, she smells very weird in a negative way, and her clothes are just a disgrace to even look at.

Her dad has a job, he has money, and he doesn't have to be rich for her to wear some decent clothing that doesn't smell like a piece of crap. Like, seriously? Oh shit I just sounded like a girl.

But I guess that makes her stick out like a sore thumb from the rest of the other girls… the ones that try to stick their tongue in my mouth. And I absolutely despise them, almost as much as I despise Ally Dawson. But since she's not one of _them_ I guess I can say I'm thankful for that. Huh. One thing I appreciate about Ally Dawson. I thought I would ever see the day.

The other obvious thing on my mind was Eva. Oh my goodness…Eva Kowalski. Now, where do I begin with her?

We both sort of have this like-hate relationship… maybe? I kind of, _sort of_, hence the words 'sort of', like her and may have had a little kid crush on the teacher, but at the same time totally despise the living shit out of her. And I would be a fool not to say that the feeling's mutual.

I reached the school where people were already crowded around my usual parking space, chatting amongst themselves while waiting for me to arrive. As soon as they saw my car, they waved their hands enthusiastically as if the prince just arrived… and I definitely hated it.

But, in the corner of my eye, I saw Ally kiss her father on the cheek, and leave his car. And suddenly, I knew things were different.

She didn't look the same with dirty clothes and messy hair that was about shoulder length. She looked like she was something new. For instead of some old brown sweatshirt, or even an ugly knit sweater, she wore something genuinely pretty.

What she wore was an orange jacket, and I can safely say that she has never worn the jacket before because I would've remembered something like that.

The jacket did wonders to the girl. It brought out her eyes a lot more, and they had an extra shine or gleam to it like her smile that I never saw. Her hair was _finally _combed and it cascaded down her back beautifully. And instead of some dirty sweatpants that she may have pulled from her hamper, she wore some dark jeans.

So much for thinking all she had was dirty, ugly, and stained clothes.

Maybe, for some apparent reason, the jacket gave her some confidence that I never imagined Ally Dawson would ever have.

And I was thankful for it because the confidence basically oozed out of her. She stood up straighter, she smiled a bit more, and occasionally waved to the common passerby. And for once, I got a feeling that maybe Ally Dawson could actually pretty.

I liked her like that, but the other kids might have different opinions. And since I hung out with them a lot, I know they'd think she was almost _too_ pretty for their liking. It could totally mess up their "ranks" or whatever shit they had going on in their minds. They'd think she was trying too hard, or maybe they might think that she thought that she was better than them.

And for that, I almost pitied her. _Almost._

Because what she thought could give her more confidence, it would actually end up ruining her… I knew that for a fact.

All of a sudden Ally looked up and caught me staring at her. Her smile died down, and we just stared at each other as if we were mesmerized and in love. Well, I was definitely mesmerized by her new appearance, but why she was staring at me, I had no clue.

"Moon, are you going gooey-eyed over Dawson?" yelled one of the boys.

It affectively stepped us out of our trance that we kept on doing so often. Ally then turned away and went into the school as I drove into my parking spot.

"What was that for Austin?" asked Nick, one of the kids I hung out with. Also the person who snapped me out of the previous trance. "Falling for Dawson?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

I scoffed. "Not in a million years."

"Well, good," interrupted a feminine voice. I got out of my car and turned my head to face Marilyn who was coming towards me. She hugged me warmly and then kissed me passionately before I could even react.

"Did you see that dysfunctional bitch today?"

I raised an eyebrow as if I didn't know who she was talking about when I clearly did.

Marilyn rolls her eyes. "Ally, silly," she flirts

I nod as if I remembered. "Yeah! She looks…uh, different."

"Different?" screeches Marilyn. "Oh my god she looks like a try-hard!" I mentally nod in my head. Yup, prediction obviously proved correctly.

But not showing my internal emotions, I scoff like I agreed with her. "Yeah, I could totally tell. Where the hell did that come from?" And to be quite frank, I was speaking the honest truth. It definitely surprised the hell out of me.

"Got you by surprise?" she asks. I nod.

Marilyn clicks her tongue. "Oh, I know how much you hate surprises." I raise an eyebrow. _I did?_

Marilyn then smiles and traces her finger down my shirt. "Don't worry, baby, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks," I whisper in her ear, a bit uncertain. She then giggles and hugs me closer and tighter.

But the weird thing is, I don't know what was there to take care of.

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><p>After escaping from the steel grip of Marilyn, I rushed inside for I had a particular destination in mind.<p>

I knocked on the door quietly. "Ms. Kowalski," I whisper silently.

After a few moments of silence, the door was opened hesitantly. "Mr. Moon. What are you doing here?" she asks solemnly.

I use my right arm to lean against the door frame. Despite our six year age difference, I was about six inches taller than her.

"You don't have to call me Mr. Moon, you know that, right?" I say softly. She looks at me sympathetically.

"Austin. We can't talk right now." She looks around the hallway slowly, tilting her head left then right, and then back up at me. "They'll find out," she whispers softly.

"Who says they will?" I whisper back.

"They will if they see us associated with each other," she replies a bit stronger.

I raise an eyebrow. "Unless somebody found out and told someone then no one would even think of it. So would you calm down?" I realize I was raising my voice, so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Please?" I say a bit calmer.

Eva bights her lips, then sighs quietly. "Okay fine." A short pause. "Well then…what do you want?"

"I need to talk to you," I say urgently.

She rolls her eyes. "Well obviously."

"May I please come in, then?"

She purses her lip in tight, thin line, then hesitantly nods. "Okay. Fine. But you better make it quick."

I get up from my leaning position, and walk inside of her room, as she silently closes the door.

"Okay. What do you need," she asks.

"I need to ask you a favor."

Eva's eyes widen. "A favor?"

"Yes," I confirm.

She then rubs her forehead, while shaking it disappointingly. "Austin. I have given you _so_ many favors that you haven't returned back. I don't think that's fair to ask me anymore of them."

I sigh, sadly. "I know, I know. And I remember that I do owe you." Eva raises her eyebrows, telling me to continue.

I sigh and scratch the back of my head. "So…uh, how much do you want for it?" I ask, wanting this conversation to be over and get to the point that I want to make.

But then, she says something that surprises me. "What I did for you, Austin, there can't be a price put on that, and you know why." She smiles. "Just think of it as just a kind gesture."

"Oh well, um thank you, very much Eva," I reply realizing what she's referring to. "But I meant for the other stuff. The ones that actually cost money."

"Oh I know that cost money, but if I receive it, I'll feel dirty."

"But I need to pay you back for that."

"I know."

"So how much is it?"

She then thinks for a moment. "Altogether? A pretty decent amount. But money can't pay the price for those things because it's just too little."

"Too little?" I say sadly.

"Too little," she repeats.

I exhale deeply. "Then what can I do to pay for it?"

She pauses slightly, then continues. "Nothing, yet. I'll tell you though, when I know it." A pause. "Now what do you want?"

I inhale slowly. "I want to play the piano again."

This caught Eva's attention, and she looks up at me, disbelievingly. "You want to face the piano… again?"

I nod. "Uh, surprisingly. Yes," I say, surprised myself.

Her eyes widen. "Well, um, yeah-yeah, sure okay. I'll, uh, teach you again. If that's what you want."

I nod once more, confirming what she was saying. "Yeah, it is."

"Same piece?" she asks.

"Same piece," I confirm.

"Okay, I'll get started on that."

"Well, uh thanks," I say awkwardly.

Eva smiles. "Sure… but if you don't mind me asking, why the change of heart?" she asks.

I shrug. "Change of heart… change of opinion."

Eva nods her head thoughtfully. "Okay… I'll, uh, schedule something. When do you want to start?"

"As soon as possible," I say confidently.

Eva smiles, and rubs my shoulder warmly. "I knew that the old Austin would come back."

She then tip toes and slightly kisses me on the cheek. "I'm going to go, and you should too. The bell's about to ring.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here until then," I reply politely.

Eva smiles the warm smile I missed. "Of course. I trust you, again." She then sighs, still keeping the same smile. "I missed you Austin. It's good to have you back."

Then she exits and leaves me in the room, alone

I blew out a sigh of relief that I didn't know I've been holding and shove my hands in my pocket. That's when I realized where I was.

The music room. Oh how I missed this place dearly. It's been a while, and I couldn't be any happier to be in it again. The place gives me chills and horrible memories, but I guess it's worth the suffering if I could do something that I once loved again. Maybe, hopefully, nothing would stand in my way this time.

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><p>But then I saw it. A shiny thing reflecting off the light from the window. It was behind the left curtain that draped around the wall, but stood out in the darkness. I walk towards it with curiosity, and find a small doorway that I didn't even know existed.<p>

I opened it, and saw a small knife… perfectly clean, and _sharp_.

Not thinking much of it, I closed the hidden door, and left the room as soon as the bell rang.

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><p><strong>Woah-woah-woah, wait. Stop the track. Austin's polite? And there are still some unanswered questions from the last chapter and even more here. Ooh. I am so bad.<strong>

**But what did you think? More secrets? _Scandalous_ secrets?**

**I don't know. You just have to stay with me through this bumpy ride to find out.**

**This was actually supposed to be posted around twelve, but I procrastinated and so yeah, I'm sorry about that.**

**Oh! And I have a visual aid of Marilyn and Eva. It's on my profile, so if you'd like, go check 'em out.**

**Please read, review, follow, favorite and share! (No, seriously. I really mean it.) I would be extremely grateful! When I get more reviews on my chapters, it seriously mean the whole world to me. And I love it even more when people favorite and follow *hint hint* ;)**

**Thank you again, my lovelies!**

**-Adelyn Roselle.**


	11. Wow, so this is confidence

**Oh my gosh. I am so sorry for not updating. It's currently testing week and it's killing me right now. I mean, I**_** could**_** write a suck-ish chapter like the previous ones and put it up quickly (I actually edit them once in a while, but don't worry I don't change the plot), or I could take just a few more days to update and emit a better chapter…I prefer the latter version. So, I'm sorry for taking one hell of a time to update.**

**I know it's really confusing right now and because of the whole Eva and Austin thing, and yada-yada, and even when I was re-reading that chapter, I was wondering if you'd get confused… which you did. But that's okay because you're supposed to be right now. Yet soon, everything will be clear, so don't worry. Oh! Yeah, Austin's not **_**actually**_** a stalker… if you were wondering. He just so happens to know where Ally lives for some strange reason. I told you, reasons come at the end of the story!**

**Enjoy the new chapter, lovelies! **

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><p><em>"1000 Times" by Sara Bareilles<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story_

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, it is revealed that Austin's father really takes care of him, and when he drives to school, he started thinking about Ally and Eva. When he arrives, he sees her [Ally] wearing a pretty orange coat, and he thinks that Ally Dawson might actually look pretty. However, he worries what his friends might think because he believes that they might think Ally is trying to outshine them. Marilyn confirms his suspicion. He goes to school where he talks to Eva and it is revealed that they had a past. Austin then finds a blade in the music room, but leaves it there as soon as he hears the bell ring.<em>

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><p>**Ally**<p>

I was always the person to wake up so confused, but now, I'm more confused than ever. Was it normal for someone to know where you live? Especially if they hate the living crap out of you? Well, of course not. So even after three day, I can't help but wonder: How the hell did Austin know where I lived? All it did was confuse the living shit out of me, and I didn't appreciate it.

I found out the boy, plays the piano, and he knows where I live in one day. Like I said before, that was one crazy, abnormal Saturday that didn't almost seem real.

I rub my head, confused as hell, and get out of my bread groggily, still that same thought from three days ago running through my mind as fresh as even. Still a bit tired, I hesitantly get out of bed, the floor cold against my bare feet as I walked downstairs into the kitchen where my father did his normal morning routine.

"Hey, hon," greeted my father while reading his newspaper and drinking his coffee. It was a ritual for him, and I sort have gotten my own because of him.

"Hi, daddy," I reply as I grab a bowl from the cabinet. Eating cereal or any breakfast across from him… yup, that was my ritual.

"Are you having some?" I ask him, referencing to the cereal. And I knew he would say no, but I asked anyway to be polite or just in case he wanted to try something new.

But he just shakes his head and lifts up his mug of coffee. "No thanks, sweetie, I'm good."

I nod and grab the rest of the stuff, and eat on the opposite side of my father.

He then looks up from his paper. "Ally?"

I look up at him. "Yeah, dad?"

"It's actually quite cold today, so I suggest you go wear a jacket to school," he replies looking back down at his paper, his balding head facing me instead of his face.

"Oh. Okay then," I say nonchalantly.

I finish eating my cereal and go upstairs to my closet, trying to find a jacket appropriate for the weather. However, when someone lives in some place hot like Miami, a jacket is one article of clothing that they shouldn't possess.

And soon, a thought came to my mind. I actually did have a jacket, but I chose to ignore the little voice in my head saying to go get it. I argued with my brain saying that jacket was way too special for me to wear to school and it might get ruined. But I couldn't help but think about that particular jacket in mind that was a pretty orange and was previously owned by my previous generation. I didn't want to wear it, but sadly, I needed to… for the sake of my warmth, of course.

I went upstairs to the attic room slowly, still debating whether I should get my mother's coat or not, but I ultimately decided that I should.

When I was inside the small room, I saw that the jacket was still in the same place I put it originally, folded neatly over the box of my mother's things. I walked towards it cautiously as if it would attack me or disappear if I came any closer. But of course, it didn't, and as soon as I knelt down upon it, I ran my fingers against the cool felt.

I picked it up slowly, her scent reaching and lingering on my nose. And though the scent was faint, it was strong in memories; I was afraid that I would cry.

So I hurriedly went downstairs out of the room fresh of emotions, and put the jacket on. Raising my head, I went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror.

My first reaction? Holy shit, I was a mess. I guess that sweatpants, a baggy t-shirt, and messily knotted hair don't look good with a beautiful orange jacket…note the sarcasm.

Running out the bathroom, I quickly went to my closet, in desperate need of something worth this coatt. Digging through the messy closet, I found a pair of wrinkled, dark jeans a nice top, and black converse. Quickly shoving them on my body, I then looked at myself. I couldn't help but admire that woman standing so proudly in the mirror…and for a moment, I believed I saw my mom.

Even though my legs looked a bit shorter, and the dark, skinny jeans laid loosely against my thin legs, I believed that the jacket looked phenomenal on me. To my surprise, I wondered if I should wear it more often.

My converse seemed to click loudly on the staircase as I strode down it proudly, excited to go to school and to see what everyone thought. As soon as I got down, my father looked at me, surprised, but then smiled.

"Wow, Ally, you look different."

I smiled warmly. "Haha, yes, I know."

Then his smile wavered a bit as he looked down at the jacket. "Honey, where did you get that?"  
>I looked down, forgetting that my father might have a problem with me wearing my deceased mother's jacket. "Uh, the attic?" I stalled.<p>

"There's a jacket in the attic?" asks my dad. I raise an eyebrow for two reasons. One is because he should know that we do have jackets in the attic, and two because he didn't recognize it was my mother's.

"Yeah, there are jacket's in the attic," I reply.

"Oh."

"You don't mind me wearing this, right?" I ask a bit suspiciously.

My dad shrugs. "No I don't mind… why wouldn't I be?" I wanted to say: because this jacket is Mom's! But in fear of not being able to wear it, I pretended that there was no abnormality or anything special towards this coat. It just fit to right and it gave me a sense of confidence that I had never experienced.

"Well, okay then," I say calmly, "can you drive me to school now, please?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure."

We got into his old car, driving to my school and basked in the comfortable silence and warmth of the sun. It was a peaceful silence, unlike the thick and heavy silence that Austin and I shared that Saturday afternoon. However, that memory caused me to sit up a little straighter, surprised that I would think about Austin Moon so quickly… or associate him with any of my daily life.

I got out of the car quickly, but not before kissing my father hastily on the cheek. I stepped outside into the cool, yet warm spring air, and smiled. As soon as my father drove away, I then begin to notice all the peculiar stares I received from my fellow classmates. Some of them had their mouths open slightly, others had their eyes wide open in a comical way and their eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

But the one person that stood out from the rest of the people was none other than Austin's girlfriend, Marilyn Davis, who both gave me the buggy eyes and a wide opened mouth.

And for some reason, I wanted to laugh. Not once in my life did I believe that I'd be the one to make Marilyn Davis surprised… jealous, even. It definitely wasn't normal, but I wasn't the one to want things normal. Instead, I wanted to keep it this way- where people saw me as a normal person.

Walking with confidence, I smiled a bit brighter, said hello to some of the kids that I saw during class who may have never recognize me. But thankfully, they still waved hello. But suddenly, with one turn of my head, I saw _him_, out of all of the boys in the school,staring at me.

Austin didn't look genuinely confused like all the other students, but more…pleased, to say the least, as if he was enjoying how I looked or something like that. And I stared right back at him for I was totally confused. Because from how I saw it, he looked at me like I was the last cookie on Earth, and if he didn't have one, he'd die. For some reason, I wasn't afraid. And if I were to be honest with myself, I would be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy his attention! But all that honesty shit just confused me even more.

But that short trance didn't last a while; for one of Austin's friends, Nick Martin, called out Austin's name, snapping both him and me out of it. We both went back to what we were doing before with him parking his car and me, continuing to walk along the sidewalk, towards the school. Before I could react, Marilyn raced past me to get to Austin as he just stepped out of his fancy car. She collided into him with a hug, then smashed her face against his, kissing him passionately like her life depended on it. Talk about a violent relationship.

Austin seemed to lose his focus on me, so I continued to make my way inside, still walking confidently with a smile upon my face and saying "hello" to the people who passed me by.

It was still a bit early for class, and since I had no one to talk to, I went straight to my locker, to get my things. Since I was bored, I just sat down in front of it.

However, I didn't take off the jacket. It was very warm inside, causing me to lightly sweat, but I could care less. The jacket almost seemed to be magical, making me walk with a new found confidence. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I loved it.

I looked at the clock that was conveniently on the wall in front of me, and I realized that first period was soon. And as if on cue, the bell rang. So, I got up from my fetal position, and walked down the long yet empty corridor to get to my first class.

But alas, being the girl I am, got lost in the school for I still had trouble with my left and right. Wandering aimlessly, I soon stopped in my tracks as the familiar piece of the Clare de Lune filled my ears.

* * *

><p>There was no piano in this school, but only the one from music room. As I walked slowly but quickly down the empty corridor, my hand touched the surprisingly warm knob of the music room door. I tried to turn it, but of course, it was locked. So, I quickly went back to my locker to get my key, then slowly but rapidly went to the music room to open the door, trying hard not to disrupt the classes or getting caught.<p>

The piece of music filled my ears, and I knew that Austin would be the one to play it so perfectly like I heard it on Saturday. And when I turned that doorknob, I was surprised to see it was actually Eva, sitting upon the piano bench, playing the Clare De Lune from memory.

"Eva?" I questioned.

The piece stopped abruptly and she turned around, a shocked expression her face. It soon died down when she realized it was me.

She sighed while smiling. "Oh my goodness, Ally, I thought you were Ms. Bennett!"

I laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah. I forgot that I gave you the key." She got up from the piano bench and sat down at her desk and folded her hands neatly like what Ms. Bennett would have done. "Now what can I do for you?"

I sat on top of her desk, casually. "Wow, when did Eva Kowalski become so formal?"

"When she almost got fired," she muttered. "No, but seriously, you're supposed to be in class. I'm going to get in a lot of trouble if you don't leave."

"Ouch. Welcome, much?"

Eva sighs. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just confused and stressed out… with the replacement thing, and moving my stuff and everything like that, God I'm so tired."

I nod thoughtfully. "I understand."

She smiled again. "So let me ask you once more, what can I do for you?" she asks a lot happier.

I wait for a moment, then take a deep breath. "Why were you playing the Clare de Lune?"

Eva raises an eyebrow. "I'm a music teacher. Can't I play the piano?"

"Yeah, yeah, you can. It's just that… in all my years here, I have never heard you once play that piece. Maybe some others, but never that one. And I'd mention it sometimes in our conversations and you'd say you know how to play it… but you never did. Why now?"

Eva sighs looks down at the table while tapping her fingers. "I don't know," she says softly, "I guess I needed some refreshing… that's all. Why do you ask?"

"Because I just heard someone play it here a couple of days ago."

She raises an eyebrow. "You did?"

"Yes, and it was during Saturday detention, too."

Her mouth then opened in a comical way, then she quickly shit it. "If I may ask," she asked a bit puzzled, "does anyone else go with you at Saturday detentions?"

"Yes," I reply, not giving her a full answer.

"Who?"

I smirk. "Austin Moon."

She squints her eyes a bit and shakes her head. "That Austin kid?" she asks. And I knew she was feigning surprise through the tone of her voice. The way she said 'that Austin kid'… it just wasn't the same as before.

"Yes, Eva," I confirm, "that Austin kid."

Her eyes widen slightly, and her mouth hung slightly open as if she had nothing to say. But always managed to say something at the end. And I wasn't happy about what she said instead.

"Oh, well look at the time!" she says hurriedly while glancing at the clock in a quick motion. "It seems like you're already late for class, and that's the last thing you'd want to do. So scurry along now! Go, go!" She pushes me gently towards the door.

"But-," I object.

"No, we'll finish this conversation at lunch. Now, go!" And then I'm pushed out of the music room and into the empty hallway.

As she closed the door, I became bewildered, yet a bit angry. Eva was never the one to keep secrets from me, and this secret was something I should know about.

Austin. My life-long enemy, may be connected to my only friend, and she wasn't saying anything about it.

When she was rushing me out of the door, it just confirmed my suspicion that in some way, Eva was associated with Austin because of the piano. For not once did she play the Clare de Lune, and look, _surprise, surprise_, Austin played the Clare de Lune just last Saturday. Walking down the hallway to my first class, I made a prediction.

Eva was teaching Austin how to play the piano.

But the real question was: _why?_

* * *

><p>"Ms. Dawson," bellowed Mrs. Fitzpatrick, "you're late." I bit my tongue, trying to hold back the words: <em>well, duh.<em> Instead, I thought of something pleasant to say, ignoring the fact that I was annoyed as hell.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Fitzpatrick," I said calmly, feigning sincerity. "I just got a little jumbled up again… the hallways are still a bit confusing to me."

The teacher shook her head. "After four years? I find that quite hard to believe."

I thought of a quick excuse. "It's because I entered the school through a different door than my last. I wasn't used to it."

Someone scoffed. "It's because she got this fancy new jacket that now she thinks she's _so_ cool," said a masculine voice.

I turned my head to face the classroom, with hurt in my eyes, expecting Austin being the one to make such a rude remark. But to my surprise, Austin was on his phone, concentrating on whatever was on it, his lips in a tight line. I cocked my head towards the other side of the room, to see Nick Martin, high-fiving another fellow classmate that I failed to recognize. Surprised, I realized that it was Nick who was the one who said it, and not Austin.

"That's enough Mr. Martin," scolded Mrs. Fitzpatrick. She then turns her head to me. "Okay, Ms. Dawson, please sit down. I'll let you get off with a warning this time." A couple students groaned, a few whispered "you have got to be kidding me', but Austin, well, he just kept his mouth shut.

I still managed a mere 'thank you' to the teacher and sat down in front of Austin, silently, both of us not making any eye contact whatsoever.

After a few minutes of Mrs. Fitzpatrick's monotone voice clogging her students' ears, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was Austin, still not looking at me, but a folded note on top of his desk. I picked it up carefully.

It said: _nice jacket._

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, then in hate. Of course he'd be the one to make sarcastic remarks about everything. I crumpled up the paper, and shoved it in my backpack, then tried to focus on the lesson.

Yet there was that little feeling in my stomach, hoping that Austin wasn't being sarcastic. And maybe… he wasn't.

And that soon caused a light smile to dance across my face.

* * *

><p>"Why did you give me that note?" I asked. First period had just ended, and my back was turned around, facing Austin, who was packing up his things.<p>

"Because I like your jacket," he states as if it was the most obvious thing. I smiled slightly... and I thought: maybe he changed.

He starts to get up, and I follow him out of the classroom.

"Well, it's not normal for you to compliment me," I reply.

"Well maybe it's because you're holding one of my deepest secrets that you rudely eavesdropped on," I winced slightly, "and then maybe that's why I'm being so nice to you."

I was hurt. "You're doing this out of obligation to yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Ow."

"Whatever."

"So you don't like my jacket?" I asked, sadly.

"No." I looked up back at him. "I do," he finished.

"Well then maybe you could've just left it at that, instead," I reply.

"And maybe, you could've just said 'thank you', instead of 'why did you give me that note,'" he says, mocking my voice.

Then he walks away from me quicker than I could have ever have, and with a small 'thank you' just barely escaping my lips.

* * *

><p>After the rest of my morning classes, I finally could have lunch. I was actually quite hungry, even if I just had some cereal three hours ago, but I couldn't help my hunger.<p>

The hallway was filled with teenagers, rushing to get to the cafeteria, some of them pushing other kids into lockers or towards the ground in hopes of getting to the lunch room sooner. And that's when I realized my school was actually quite crazed in their own violent way. I laughed to myself quietly.

As I walked down the hallway, the crowds slowly diminished to a couple of straggling students that had to stay behind in the classroom to talk to the teachers, or something like that. And a few seconds later, the hallway became empty and quiet.

I wanted to stay in the hallway because it was peaceful. No teenagers trying to beat me up, or threaten me of the sorts. But heaven can't last long on Earth, can it? Nope. For the familiar sound of clicking heels echoed throughout the empty hallway. I turned my head to come face to face than no other than the queen bee, Marilyn Davis.

She then stops in her tracks. Then she laughs, and pops her gum obnoxiously. "Oh, well if it isn't Ally Dawson, the girl who tries so hard to blend in."

"Hello, Marilyn."

"Oh don't you 'hello, Marilyn' me, you whore." I gulp, holding my coat collar tightly between my index finger and thumb.

"So, like, is that a new jacket or something?" she asks, suddenly changing the subject. She runs her polished finger down the sleeve of my coat. "Great fabric!" she comments, making me one hundred percent uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," I reply, unsure with where this was going.

"Is this even yours?" she asks, smiling devilishly.

I think about it quickly. Is it mine? No. "Well, actually," I say, terrified to admit it, "it's my mother's."

"Your mother's?" gasps Marilyn. She touches her heart. "Oh how precious." Then she shakes her head unexpectedly. "It's a shame, though."

I raise an eyebrow. "What-what, do you mean?" I ask nervously.

"I mean how disgusting you look in this." And then, my mouth went dry, words not able to come out. "I mean, seriously Ally," she continues walking around me like a predator, "it just doesn't look natural on you. It's so pretty, and you're just… not."

I bite my lips, tears threatening to come down.

"Now look," she whispers, "you didn't hear this from me, but-." She bites her lip and leans into my ear. "I heard that some of the kids thought you looked-," she looks around in the hallway then back at me, "how do I put this in words? You looked _husky_ in it." And I was no fool to understand that _husky _meant _fat._

"They- they did?" I ask sadly, instantly becoming depressed.

"Oh don't cry, Ally," says Marilyn, pouting, "I'm sure they were just saying their truthful opinion."

I sigh and let a small tear escape from beneath my eye. "What can I do?"

She smiles slightly. "Cut down on the spaghetti." And she walks away from me, her heels becoming quite silent in the empty hallway.

I turn around, and walk away in the opposite direction of the cafeteria, where I bump into a hard chest and fall to the ground. I look up, and it's no other than Austin Moon, looking at me, sympathetically, and I knew that he saw everything.

At first, I'm happy that he gave me sympathy. But suddenly, I was even sadder than before as realization took a whack at my head.

My eyes widened, and I quickly got up from my previous position. I walked down the hallway, tears stinging from my eyes for a reason that I knew Austin wouldn't get.

I wasn't running away because I ran into him.

Not because he didn't help me up when I fell down.

Not because he didn't protect me from Marilyn.

Or because he didn't say anything to prevent Marilyn from back-hand complimenting me.

I ran away because I tricked myself into thinking that he changed.

And suddenly, I wasn't so hungry anymore. And my brain told me that I wouldn't be eating for a while.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm just going to give you guys a warning: please don't do what Ally will be doing in the next chapters. I know you won't, or at least I hope you won't, but in all seriousness, what she's about to do is <strong>_**not right.**_

**So I hope you enjoyed that chapter! It took me a pretty long time to write the whole dang thing. Sorry about that.**

**Again, and like all the other chapters, I shall say the same thing: please read, review, follow, favorite, and share. I would really appreciate it! Thank you guys again. You're da best!**

**-Adelyn Roselle.**


	12. Secrets: Part 2

**Okay… about this chapter. It's **_**very **_**important. A warning would be… appropriate, to say the least. And so the easiest way to put the warning in terms without giving too much away is answering a review from Citylights at Midnight who said: **_**Eva and Austin are growing on my mind **_

**Well, okay then. This chapter… well, I'm not sure if this will make you wonder more or satisfy you… That's my warning.**

**And you'll understand while reading the end of the chapter that's in Austin's point of view, but he doesn't get specific and uses pronouns instead of saying the actual meaning… you'll get it when you're there. It's confusing at first, so sorry about that.**

**Enjoy! And thank you for reading**

* * *

><p>"Breathe" by Taylor Swift<p>

Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally and am in no way associated with them. I also don't own any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story.

* * *

><p>In the previous chapter, Ally wakes up confused because she still wonders how Austin knew where she lived after he dropped her off at her house after Saturday detention. When she goes downstairs, her father tells her that it's cool out and she should where a jacket. However, when she goes to closet, she realizes that she doesn't have one. Except her mother's. So Ally hesitantly wears it, but is pleased how it looks on her. She wears more fashionable clothes also. Her father does not recognize the jacket, much to her surprise. At school, she walks with confidence. When she was walking down the hallway, she heard the Clare de Lune and believes it's Austin, but it's just Eva. After a conversation, Eva suspiciously kicks Ally out of the classroom. She realizes that Eva is teaching Austin how to play the piano. In first period, Ally is insulted by one of Austin's friends, but is complimented by Austin, much to her surprise. After her morning periods, Ally is confronted by Marilyn. Marilyn says that people believe Ally looked fat in the jacket and it doesn't suit her. And since Ally wants to wear the jacket more often and wants it to look absolutely perfect on her because it's her mother's, Ally does not eat her lunch to stay skinny.<p>

* * *

><p>**Austin**<p>

Lunch had just started, and I told everyone at the table that I was going to be back in a few minutes when in reality, I was going to the music room to see Eva. As I was walking, the annoying voice of Marilyn Davis echoed through the hallway.

"It's so pretty," said Marilyn, "and you're just… not."

I wasn't a fool to realize that the poor victim Marilyn was talking to was Ally on the subject of her orange jacket. It was easy to tell because of the way Marilyn brutally insulted her.

Oh, so this is what Marilyn meant when she was going to "take care of it."

I eavesdropped onto their conversation a while longer. And basically, Ally cried and Marilyn insulted. It wasn't very pretty.

After the conversation, Marilyn walked down the hallway as if she owned the place, making sure that her heels were loud against the cold, dirty floor.

I walked out from my hiding spot when a small, little thing crashed into me and fell to the ground. I looked down and there was Ally, trying so hard not to cry.

She looked up at me, afraid, and I couldn't help pitying her in my mind. We stay there, staring at each other, but she does something unexpected by leaving abruptly without saying a word.

I shrugged it off and made my way to Eva's room, where I found myself walking there more often than before. I got my key out and opened the door; Eva barely noticing as she read some piano pieces at her desk.

"Hey," she said without looking up.

"Hi," I reply.

"You're here early. Did you have lunch?" I nodded.

"Good." She looked up at me and smiled. "Well, then, let's start."

I held my hand out. "Wait. Can I ask you something first?"

Eva put down the papers and looked at me, confused a bit. "Yeah, sure. What about?" She sat in her rolling chair behind her desk as I sat on the piano bench, hands folded neatly.

I think for a moment. "Well, I'm not sure if I should tell you."

Eva did a double take. "Excuse me? And why the hell not?"

"Because you're my teacher…"

"Hey!" she points of finger accusingly at me. "We were friends before I was your teacher-."

"Now we're more like acquaintances," I mutter under my breath, interrupting her.

"_SO_," continues Eva, "you can tell me you're problems. Plus you know I'm good at these things."

I nodded my head. It was true that she was.

So I took a deep breath. "I'm confused," I say softly and hesitantly.

"Confused?" she wonders. "Why so?"

"Ally."

Eva raises and eyebrow. "Ally? As in Allison Dawson? That Ally?"

"Yup," I reply.

"Well what's confusing about her?" asks Eva.

I sigh. "I don't know. She just confuses me in general. One minute she's a weirdo then one minute she's… she's…." I stutter, unable to find words.

"Beautiful?" offers Eva.

"Yeah… I guess," I mutter softly. Was Ally pretty? _Maybe_.

"Well what's confusing about that?" asks Eva.

"No. It's not that. She just confuses me in general, well, because wherever I am, there's Ally doing something utterly _stupid_, and I don't know how the hell she gets into such a fucking mess."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just saw her talking to Marilyn Davis-."

"Marilyn Davis?" interrupts Eva, suddenly standing up straight like a soldier.

"Yes," I reply calmly.

"Okay…and? What happened to her?" asks Eva, suddenly protective.

I shake my head. "It's not my story to tell. But I will tell you that I am 99.9 percent sure that Ally is in one _hell_ of a crappy mood right now."

"Well at least did you try to stop her?"

"Who?"

"Marilyn Davis!"

"Oh," I pause for a second. "No."

Eva's mouth drops and she walks towards me. "Austin. Why the hell did you do that?" she scolds as she whacks me at the back of my head.

"I didn't do anything!" I defend.

"Exactly! You saw Ally over there getting threatened by your girlfriend and you should have done something!"

I purse my lips together. "I can't," I mutter softly.

Eva groans, holding her head in both hands. "Why not?" she asks, not looking up.

"Because if I do something, Marilyn might break up with me."

She looks back up at me in disbelief, and scoffs incredulously. "I'm being very serious right now Austin. Do you honestly care about that girl?"

I thought about it for a while. "Well… no."

"Then break up with the chick."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I just… can't," I say softly.

"You don't even like Marilyn, if anything I know you can't stand her," states Eva.

I sigh softly. "I know I do… but- I just- I just _can't_ do anything about it."

"Is this because of your friends?"

I debate with myself in my head. It's my internal emotions that are killing me, not my friends. But instead, I blame it on them. "Maybe? I don't know…"

She frowns. "What happened to the Austin that I thought had changed?"

"He's still here." Eva gives me a look of defiance. "He is! It's just… hard to break up with someone."

"Well are you going to wait for her to break up with you then?"

I bite my lip, realizing Eva made a very good point.

But it's hard to hurt people who have trust in me… it's a lot easier to hurt the people that don't want to be associated with you.

"Yes, I guess so," I conclude. Eva groans.

"I just haven't met that person yet," I continue, "and when I do, I'll break up with Marilyn… gratefully too. But so far, I haven't found _that one _that would make me forget everything and my world would just be around her."

Eva doesn't say anything, and all that was in the room was silence. "I never felt _any_ love before," I mutter softly, breaking the silence.

"Well, what about Ally?" offers Eva.

I laughed. "Seriously?" And by the look on her face, I could tell that she was.

Eva sighs. "Is she really that bad?"

"Who?"

"_Ally!_"

"Well, no. Not anymore. But before, I admit, she was pretty disgusting."

Eva's mouth drops. "She was not disgusting!" she defends.

"Uh, yeah, she was," I argue.

Eva sighs. "I don't believe you."

I raise an eyebrow at Eva. "How can you not say her dirty sweatpants were disgusting?'

"Are you just judging her by what she wears, or have you got the time to actually look at her face?" she asks.

"What are you talking about?"

"Here, look at her face as if you were about to draw it. Sometimes, if you look at a girl that you believe is pretty for so long, she becomes ugly."

And then she coughs, "Marilyn Davis." I roll my eyes.

"Ally's the opposite," continues Eva. "Look at her closely, _lovingly_, and you'll learn to appreciate her for who she really is."

I smirk. "Lovingly?" I ask. Eva nods.

"Have you dumbed down?" I burst. "Everyone would look at me weirdly if I stared at her."

"Then stare at her when no one is there at Saturday detentions."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "How did you know I was in Saturday detentions?" I ask suspiciously.

Eva scoffs. "Please, I'm friends with Ally and she goes to Saturday detentions too"

I forgot that Ally still talked to Eva… And that Ally heard me. I gulped, afraid that maybe she told Eva about the whole piano thing.

"Did she say anything else?" I ask.

Eva smirked as if she knew what I was thinking. "Yes." And of course she did.

_Oh boy. _"She told me," continued Eva, "that she heard you playing the piano in the music room," she pause to give an effect. "Care to explain why you never told me you remembered?"

I shrug. "Sorry."

Eva laughs forcefully, but quietly. "Wow. I can't believe you still have the key I gave you."

I smile. "Yeah, I can't either."

"And I can't believe that you remember how to play."

"Yeah, I still remember all the ones that I learned."

Eva looks down and mumbles almost inaudibly, "Even the Clare de Lune."

I frown glumly. "Even though it…"

She raises her hand, telling me to stop. "You don't have to say it."

"It was just too special to her," I continue. "I couldn't forget it if I tried."

She smiles warmly. "Even if you're saying this sappy stuff," her warm smile turns into a smirk, "you're still a bad kid for not saying anything to me."

I smile. "I just saw the piano… sitting there… alone. I couldn't stand it because it just… it just," I repeat, trying to find the right words.

"It just reminded you of… yourself," completes Eva.

I nod, agreeing. "Exactly. All one of those instruments deserved to be played. It sucks that I only know how to play the piano and guitar." I then sniff.

"Are you okay?" asks Eva, a lot softer than her tone before.

I shake my head and hung it lowly, not being able to make eye contact with Eva.

And I whisper these words so softly to the point where I couldn't even hear it myself.

"I miss her."

* * *

><p>**Ally**<p>

Five days later is equivalent to eight meals later. _I survived eating eight meals for the past five days_.

Every morning, I'd look in the mirror in hopes of trying to look skinnier than I already was, which was so hard since I already deprived myself previously.

My father noticed something, however. When he picked me up from school, he'd say. "Honey?"

I would get into the car and I would reply, "Yes?" innocently.

"Have you been eating your lunch?" he'd ask.

"Yes," I lied.

It stayed like that for the whole week. He only asked when I got in the car, but not at dinner. He'd see me eat only bits of the meal, but I guess he forgot, for he'd ask me again, "Honey, have you been eating?"

I guess I was getting skinnier.

Today was Saturday, the sky turned out to be grey and cool unlike the previous Saturday.

I grabbed my mother's jacket, and pulled it tightly around me… or I tried to since it hung a bit lowly on my shoulders.

Then I went downstairs and sat at the kitchen table, forcing myself to _not_ go to the pantry, get some cereal or a piece of bread, and nibble on it as my father took _forever_ to come down.

But I eventually grew impatient, so I stormed upstairs to where my father was sleeping peacefully on his king size bed, the other side cold and empty.

I shook him violently. "Dad," I hissed loudly.

"Dad," I repeated, only a bit louder.

He snorts and wakes up suddenly. "Huh?"

"I have to go to school," I say a bit calmer.

"But it's Saturday, sweetie," he said, half asleep.

"Yeah, I got detentions… remember?"

He stares blankly for a moment. "Yeah, yeah. Okay," he says unconvincingly. "I'll just go change. Did you eat breakfast already?" I nod robotically.

"Well okay then. Sorry."

I then leave and go back to the kitchen, and I realized my father had the tendency to forget now and then. He was growing old, I knew that, but I just wished that he would remember the details now and then. Like picking me up or remembering that I had Saturday detentions.

And for the first time, I was worried that he might forget me, and I couldn't help but let my bottom lip quiver slightly.

"Honey are you okay?" asked my father. I turned around and saw him coming down the stairs, a look of concern in his eyes.

"Would you forget me?" I ask softly.

"What? Why would you say that?" he replies, hugging me now.

"I don't know," I whisper.

My father clicks his tongue loudly. "I have a gut feeling telling me that the reason you feel this way is because I forgot about some things." I nod into his shoulder.

"Oh, don't worry sweetie. I would never forget you."

I laugh. "That was _such _a cheesy thing to say," I mumble slightly.

"Hey!" he says jokingly offended. "You wanted an answer you got one." I laughed.

"Ready to go?" he asks, letting me go from the hug.

"Yeah."

And so my father drove me to detention. Or hell.

Both are quite suitable.

* * *

><p>I still got to school on time, even if my father slept in… thank God. I then greeted the secretary and sat down in room 301, waiting for Austin and Ms. Bennett to arrive.<p>

And what bugged me the most is that I always ended up having to wait for them.

"I'll see you on Monday." Ms. Bennett waves at us and walks out the door.

I turn to Austin who was walking out the door, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask.

"Anywhere but here," he replies, already out the door. I sigh and walk towards the music room, and made sure to lock the door.

I go to the back and open the hidden compartment where the blade was. I have no idea if I would ever use it… but hopefully I wouldn't. Yet out of all people, I should know that destiny can't be controlled.

The blade was cool in the palm of my hands, a sheer covering of dust over it. Suddenly, the door knob is turned, so I throw the blade carelessly into the compartment, and shut the door quickly, drawing the curtain over it simultaneously. I turn around and there's Austin, eyes wide, mouth slightly open.

"Um, sorry," I apologize quickly, getting up. "I um, didn't mean to, uh stay?"

"I, uh, no it's alright," replies Austin awkwardly. "I- I should've knocked."

I nod my head… wait a minute, I then begin to wonder, how he opened the door. "Uh how'd you get in here?"

"Oh. The door was unlocked," he replied smoothly.

Really? I swore I thought I locked it… "Well, okay then, are you gonna use the room?"

He nods in reply. "I would make up a lie… but what's the use. You already know anyway." He glares at me, deathly.

I cringe. "Well, okay. I'll just be on my way." I get up from my crouching position, and walk past Austin, never breaking eye contact with him until I closed the door to the room.

As soon as I do so, the music begins.

I didn't want to leave. It was just so beautiful.

So instead of leaving the room, I sit in front of the door of the music room door, listening to Austin play a very calm piece that I couldn't name.

And eventually, I fell asleep.

XOXO

My sleep was relaxing, quiet, and peaceful. Like a serene, warm day on the beach. But suddenly, everything started shaking, my name being screamed, and I forced myself to open my eyes from the beautiful dream.

And what I heard, surprised me.

I was laying on my side in the hallway, where someone was screaming.

"Wake up, please, wake up! Wake up! No, stop it, please! I need you." and I identified the voice to be a male. He continued to shake me violently.

I turned to my other side slowly, and there was Austin, crying for some reason. "Wake up, please!" he cried loudly. And I found myself in the position of him stroking my face with his thumb, and my head was in the palm of his hand.

I gently removed his rough hand from my face, and placed it to the side. He looked down at our intertwined hands, sadly, and cried some more.

"Austin stop crying. I'm alright. I just fell asleep."

He looked up at me quickly. "Ally?" he croaked.

And it was scary to see him that way with his eyes swollen and puffy. I've seen him cry last Saturday, but it wasn't this extreme. Austin was full-blown crying, like I did.

He let out an uneven breath and broke his gaze away from me, and he ran away leaving me more confused than I could have ever been.

Well… that wasn't normal.

* * *

><p>By the time I finally got up from the hallway, it was basically the end of detention. I was just so in shock from what happened to the point where I just sat in the hallway, confused as ever.<p>

When I eventually got up, I went to the front office, signed myself out, and walked out of the school.

Austin's car was already gone.

A few minutes later, my dad's car comes up, and I get in.

"So how was it?" he asked.

"Ugh, normal," I lied, "I guess."

He looked at my face. "Are you sure, you don't seem okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I refused to make eye contact with him, so I just stared out the window.

"Well okay. But you will come to me if you have something on your mind, right?" I nod curtly.

"Okay then." And the rest of the trip was silent.

I knew lying to my dad was wrong, and I felt that it was in my gut. But that memory, I wanted to keep it. I wanted to analyze it before I expose it, make sure it's official until I say anything. Hell, I don't even I would tell Eva.

But I soon came to realize, that during Austin's episode, he said something that made me do a double take. Austin said that he needed me… not want, but _need_. I couldn't figure out what he meant by that; if he needed me, he would've treated me like that, not rudely by shoving me onto walls or smearing me with spaghetti.

Then I suddenly sat a bit straighter. A reason without a full explanation came to my head for why Austin treated me like that.

With him shaking me violently. With him screaming for me to wake up. With him saying stop it. With him saying I _need_ you.

He did all of those things for an answer I couldn't understand. It made perfect sense in a way that's hard to explain.

Austin thought I had died.

* * *

><p>**Austin**<p>

I was meeting up with Eva at the local beach. I was sitting on the bench to the far right, where we usually met when it came to these things. It was never crowded for some reason, isolated even.

She was running a bit late which I could understand because I kind of expected her to be.

I told Eva about me and Ally and about the whole episode at Saturday detentions, and Eva realized that I still needed help. So that's the reason why I sat on the bench to the far right, waiting for Eva as she got some help.

"Austin." I turn my head and there's Eva, alone.

I get up to face her. "I can't believe you're doing this."

"Well do you not want them or not?" she asks turning away.

"No I do!" I say quickly.

"Then don't complain. I was your friend first, not your teacher. It was my job to help you… remember that this is my way." I nod understanding.

"I like your way."

"You shouldn't," she replies immediately. "This is wrong."

"Then why are you doing this, then? If you believe it's wrong?"

Eva frowns glumly and shrugs. "I'm all out of options…unless…"

I shake my head quickly. "No I am not going back there," I reply quickly, realizing what she's referring to.

"You need to. Do it."

"I really don't want-."

"Do it," she says commanding. "Or else you're not getting them."

I wait for a moment, before sighing. "Fine."

"Thank you... You'll thank me later." She then shovels through her purse before handing me a paper bag.

"I hope you use it wisely." And she turns away from me, leaving me alone on the isolated part of the beach.

I open the brown bag, making sure she got the right one, which she did.

So I turn around and head towards my car that was parked very near, and get in, making sure no one I knew saw me.

And so when I roll up the windows, and make sure to lock up the car, I open the brown paper bag slowly.

There in the palm of my hand was the familiar bottle of Prozac, filled.

I twist the cap open, swallow one, and start the car.

* * *

><p><strong>… Reviews, please?<strong>


	13. Love is confusing: Fact

**There has been **_**some**_** confusion with the last chapter… some? Hell no. More like **_**a lot**_**. So all I'm going to say is don't worry about it and I expect you to be confused as ever until I reveal it in a later chapter… most likely five to ten more? **_**Leaning towards the ten more…**_** Oh gosh, I am **_**so**_** evil for making you wait that long… now you probably hate me for it. But since I feel bad, I am going to give you a hint about Austin in this chapter, so watch out for it. But it's a pretty pathetic hint if you ask me and it would only answer the question that was least on your mind. So, yay for that!**

**Love you guys and enjoy this chapter. It's one more until figuring out what the hell is going on.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Stay" by Miley Cyrus (you know, before she cut her hair)<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story._

* * *

><p><em>In the last chapter, Austin overheard Marilyn talking and threatening Ally, but he doesn't do anything about it. Ally runs into him, then runs away crying, leaving Austin very confused. He goes to Eva's room where they talk about Ally. In the conversation, it is revealed that Austin thinks Ally is beautiful, he doesn't like Marilyn, and he may only be bullying Ally because of his friends. Eva also scolds him for not breaking up the fight between Ally and Marilyn and tells him to break up with her [Marilyn] but Austin says he can't, making Eva wondering why. Eva then tells Austin that he should look at Ally and analyze her then maybe he's see how beautiful she really was. At the end of their conversation, Austin reveals that he misses someone… specifically a girl. At detention, Ally overhears Austin playing the piano again and falls asleep, but as she wakes up, there's Austin shaking her, pleading her to come back. She comes to the conclusion that Austin believed she had died. Austin tells Eva about his outburst during detention. And even though she didn't want to do this, Eva gave Austin some anti-depressants, and he took them without hesitation.<em>

* * *

><p>**Ally**<p>

I rubbed the cuff of my coat, staring blankly at the board as my math teacher tried to explain pre-calculus to a bunch of idiots. Looking around the room, some were frustrated and writing whatever was on the board. Others, were on their phones, looking outside the window, or basically anywhere besides the board. It was definitely safe to say that Austin was one of the people _not_ paying attention since the beeping of his phone was filling up my ears.

"Would you lower the volume on your phone," I whispered harshly. No reply came from him, except his finger that stayed directed towards me for five seconds. I roll my eyes and turn back to the front of the classroom just as the bell rang.

Students screeched their chairs on the tile floor as the teacher tried to yell over the noise, "Okay class, page 396 for homework over the weekend, and don't forget!" Well, most certainly Austin didn't hear a single word since he had his earphones in… typical.

I walk out of the classroom when someone roughly grabbed my shoulder to stop me from walking any farther. To my surprise, as I turned around, it was Austin.

"Yes?" I asked with an unamused expression on my face.

Austin rolls his eyes and looks up. "Are you coming to detention tomorrow?" he asks unsuspectingly.

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Just wanted to make sure you were."

I raise an eyebrow. "Does it even matt-."

But, I got caught off as the math teacher coughed. "If you two would like to discuss this seemingly important conversation that you must have in my doorway, I suggest you go somewhere more private. My next class is coming in soon."

"Calm yourself, we're almost done," dismisses Austin while waving his hand.

I scoff. "Well, that was rude thing to say to a superior."

"Do I look like someone who gives a fuck about my superiors?" He then sighs and looks at me in the eye while ruffling a hand through his hair. "Look, can you just make sure you be there early and go straight to the music room?" I nod.

"Good." He then leaves without saying anything else.

XOXO

Lunch. It was time for my least favorite part of the day, where all the students were gathered to pursuit a certain victim and call her ratchet shit… also known as me.

I chew my bottom lip vigorously as I step into the teenager-filled cafeteria where different aromas of axe, perfume, and cafeteria food filled nose. Now that I've learned to dread lunch, I've also learned to find the negative aspects of it that I never realized before… and I despised it.

When I walked into the room, it seemed like every person stopped what they were doing and made the effort to look at me like I was some freak-show. My steps seemed to echo, the silence seemed loud, and the stares seemed to bore into my soul as I walked to the back of the room, not making sure to pick up any food.

It wasn't long before Marilyn came up to me.

"Oh hello Allison," she said devilishly. A couple of the girls behind her giggled, horribly disguising it.

"Hi," I reply meekly. Marilyn then sits across from me at the lunch table

"So, it's lunch." I nod my head in agreement. "Why aren't you eating?"

I shrug. "Not hungry," I reply softly.

"Don't you want spaghetti?" she asks innocently. "It's the special for today." I purse my lips as the girls behind her began to laugh again, just not as discreetly as the last time. I wanted to punch all of them, especially Marilyn for bringing up the lunch time fiasco a while back.

"You can't hide from it," continued Marilyn, "everyone here already saw that video."

"I know."

"I feel bad, for you Ally, no really I do. That's why I want you to eat more. So that maybe if you trip and get it all over poor Austy over there," she juts out her thumb to where Austin was sitting, "then maybe you won't be associated as the girl with spaghetti. If you order something, maybe you can be known as the girl with… um, I don't know, maybe cake or ribs or something more pleasant."

I groan. Damn, don't I hate this girl. "No really, Marilyn, I'm not hungry right now."

"Are you sure?" I nod.

She purses her lip in frustration. "Well, I can definitely understand why you aren't." I look up at her, suspiciously. "Look at how big your stomach is," she continues. "And damn, that coat, it just makes you look so pleasantly plump, now doesn't it."

I quickly became self-conscious as I wrapped the orange coat around me tighter.

"My god, Allison!" continued Marilyn. "We live in Miami! Aren't you hot in that thing?" I shake my head quickly.

"Are you sure about that?" asked Marilyn

I debate in my head. "Maybe just a little," I mutter inaudibly.

The reaction seemed to please Marilyn as she smiles grimly. "I can take care of that."

Before I have time to react, I feel the back of my jacket being bulled and a frigid, painful, icy cold liquid running down my back. I scream in surprise, and slight pain as the coldness of the drink soaked my shirt and coat.

Marilyn laughed evilly and grabbed me roughly by the front collar. "Cooler now?" she asks menacingly. "Go die in a hole you stupid bitch." And she dropped me down roughly to where I fell on the floor.

I was surrounded by laughing students, and I couldn't get out of their circle that surrounded me. I was aware that some people were taking pictures and videos of me on the verge of tears as I was soaking wet. Marilyn was off to one side of me, laughing hysterically, clutching her stomach as if it was hurting her to be laughing so much. On the other side, I expected it to be Austin, the one who poured the liquid down my back, but no, it was Nick, laughing and talking pictures instead.

Tears began to be free flowing right then and there, but I wondered where Austin was in all of this chaos. While hiccupping uncontrollably, I looked around in the open spaces between the people around me, and I soon locked eyes with him. He was alone since his friends were surrounding me, and his eyes were sad and expression was filled with compassion. It was an odd look to be upon Austin Moon's face, but I was grateful that he wasn't like his friends and taking pictures of me, embarrassed shitless.

"What the heck is going on in here?" bellowed a feminine voice. Everyone around me scurried away at the sound of Ms. Bennett entering the cafeteria.

Before anyone noticed, I blended in with the people who were just torturing me, and scurried away outside the school.

* * *

><p>**Austin**<p>

Before I even realized it, I witnessed Nick poor icy cold water down Ally's back as she screamed in horror. My eyes widened, and I couldn't believe that I was a person that actually did that to her once.

I then began to analyze her, like Eva told me to do; and she looked so innocent, so helpless, and I was in disbelief that _I_ actually did something _so_ similar to her before that it ached in my chest. And I worried that maybe I was becoming like him; so much that I started to feel guilt tumble in my stomach.

Marilyn roughly picked her up, then shoved her to the ground mercilessly, and soon Ally began to cry. The people at my table were already gone to take pictures and videos of her, as she stayed hopeless on the ground.

And that's when it happened. She locked eyes with me. Her mouth slightly opened, maybe asking me to do something since I supposedly was their friend or something like that. But I just couldn't move. All I could do was just watch her cry on the ground at the feet of her enemies.

"What the heck is going on in here?" yelled the too familiar voice of Ms. Bennett. I cringed at the sound. But when everyone left where Ally was sitting, she was also gone too. I looked to my right towards the exit and outside.

Ms. Bennett seemed to notice, and was actually about to grab her, but I quickly went up to her.

"I'll get her," I said softly.

"Mr. Moon, I don't believe that Ms. Dawson would like-."

"You wanted us to bond? Then let me do so." Unable to argue, she reluctantly let me go and began screaming at the kids in the cafeteria.

I went outside and there was Ally, sitting to the right side of the door. She held her knees into her body and cried into her arms; her back contracting up and down from her hiccups. I froze where I was, not knowing what to say or do. But I realized that I _actually _needed to bond with Ally, or I would get in trouble by Ms. Bennett if I didn't come inside with her. So I slowly walked up to her; but my presence seemed to be unknown by the girl crying in front of me.

I didn't know what to say; hell, there was _nothing_ for me to say. So all I could do was just sit next to her, awkwardly, still as a statue. Ally _still_ didn't stop crying so I inched towards her closer until our arms brushed against each other's lightly, and that seemed to help her notice that there was someone sitting next to her.

Ally looked up at me, hesitantly, and her whole face was wet with tears. And once she realized that it was me; Austin Moon, the boy who bullied her shitless, the boy who started this mess, the boy that hurt her; to be the one to comfort her out of all people, she seemed to cry even more.

My eyes widened. _Oh shit. Ms. Bennett was right… she didn't want me here… fuck. _I was about to leave, but she did something unexpected. Instead of ignoring me, her fragile and delicate arms quickly embraced me as she pulled herself closer to me. She cried into my neck and I felt her tears running down, staining my shirt… but I could care less.

However, our position was quite awkward since she had to twist herself to face me. So, I scooped up her surprisingly feather-light body onto my lap, where she pulled herself closer. And I got a tingling sensation in my stomach as I felt her soft and gentle lips lightly brushing against the side of my neck. Her heavy, warm breath gave me chills as it played along the nape of my neck, and her hands were so soft and gentle around my body that it almost seemed… right.

I then hesitantly traced small circles on her back with my thumb, gently, and my other hand held her warm, comforting body against my own. Neither one of us uttered a word to each other. It surprised me how suddenly our bodies clicked into one; a perfect puzzle piece that had never truly found its partner.

And I found myself crying with her; because I was confused to why I was doing this, I felt bad for Ally; and soon the light patter of rain decided to join in our misery too.

* * *

><p>**Ally**<p>

There I was, sitting alone, crying obnoxiously, wondering why the _fuck_ did the world hate me, when an arm, a soft, gentle arm, rubbed against my shoulder ever so slightly. But it wasn't Eva like I first assumed; no, it was Austin. As in Austin Moon, the guy that tortured me ever since I was young, being the one to come outside to comfort me.

I didn't know what to say to him; in fact, I was just so damn confused about everything. That was when I just burst into tears. I didn't know if I wanted Austin to be my hero, I didn't know if I wanted him to be the one that comforted me, but I wanted someone, and I knew that. I wanted anyone.

But after thinking about it, I realized that I _needed_ him and him _only. _

I threw my arms against his body, and he tensed up at first, but gained his composure once more. He then lifted me up and cradled me on his lap, like I was a frightened child, and that somehow seemed to calm me down. His scent then lingered on my nose as I inhaled his light cologne and natural scent of skin. The shirt Austin was wearing was getting ruined by my tears, but I didn't dare move. I stayed there and since he didn't try to remove me, neither did I.

I realized that it felt… nice to be with him.

Soon, the bell obnoxiously rang, but neither of us attempted to move from our positions; to be honest I was just too comfortable to even care about class.

"Hey," he murmured softly. I said no reply.

"Are you cold?" I nodded slightly.

"Do you want to go in?" I shook my head.

And even when I wasn't facing him, I knew that he was smiling. "Me neither."

We drowned ourselves in the rain, a now peaceful silence around us. And then realization hit me; _I was hugging Austin._ And he didn't do anything about it. I looked up and saw the features of his body, much closer, and there were things that I have never noticed before.

His jaw line was very defined, his skin was soft and smelt natural even with the cologne, it felt…dare I say it, lovely. Everything about how he looked was… lovely. And I understood why girls loved him, but I believed they may like him for a different reason that I didn't really know.

And suddenly before I could even manage to react, I broke the perfect silent barrier between us.

"Why?" I whispered meekly.

Austin looked down at me, but I didn't make eye contact. "Why what?" he replied softly.

"Why are you here?" I didn't mean for it to sound so rude, but it just came out like that in a way; and I suddenly became cautious about my choice of words. Austin, however, didn't seem to catch the rudeness of my tone as he continued to lightly trace circles on my back.

"To be honest, I don't know," he whispered.

I didn't know what to say, but he continued. "Looking at you, I see someone."

That got my attention, so I looked up at him curiously. "Who?"

He quickly smirked playfully, but it quickly died down just as it was made. "A friend."

"Do I know this friend?" I asked quizzically.

He shook his head solemnly and looked down at me. "Oh yeah, she's definitely there."

I raise an eyebrow. "She?"

And that's when I realized Austin was slightly crying as one of his tears gently trailed down his face. He smiled sadly. "Yeah."

On instinct, I wipe the tear gently from his face, even though it was still getting wet from the rain. And so he slowly held it there, in place, his eyes closed and a soft smile tugging on his lips.

He then let go of my hand and held his to my face, so tenderly, so softly, and I couldn't help but smile too. And we both stayed there, staring at each other in pure confusion, wondering how the hell we ended up in such an intimate position, how we ended up comforting each other, how we ended up talking about sensitive topics without making fun of each other, how we ended up being like a couple in the rain in one of those romance movies, how we acted as if we love on another, and how I ended up realizing that I wasn't acting at all.

Austin then muttered softly, "I never really noticed how beautiful you were." I realized that he was saying that more to himself than to me, but it still had the same effect of making my legs go weak, and making my heart palpitate in my chest harder.

Oh year, I was definitely not acting.

* * *

><p>I quietly sat up from the bed the following day. My stomach grumbled harshly to the lack of food, and my bones became more evident as I lightly traced the outline of one of them on my ribcage. Snacks are what I lived on for the past couple of days; water, apples, oranges- tiny, healthy snacks. It's basically ally I had, well, maybe that one or two days when I <em>accidentally<em> binged on some pasta or meat- but that's it. However, my appearance hasn't made itself evident since I was still being called "a fat bitch" even after the little incident by Marilyn and her little posse yesterday.

Yesterday.

Rain.

Austin.

Me.

Outside.

Comfort.

Enemy.

Love.

I'm in love with Austin… my enemy.

_No, no, no, no, no. You aren't in love with Austin. Calm down. _I didn't. _CALM THE FUCK DOWN._ _You like him. He cradled you, and he comforted you, okay? It doesn't mean anything. It just means that you loved the way he treated you when you were crying, you loved his scent, and you loved how his hand felt against your face. You just love him._

"Oh my god!" I yelled, sitting up straighter. _No this can't be happening! _I started to tug pieces of my hair in frustration.

Apparently, my scream was quite loud since it was heard by my father who quickly came rushing into my room.

"Are you okay?" he asked frantically.

I took in a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? That scream was pretty loud."

"No, I'm okay dad… I'm just gonna go get ready for detention," I whispered softly.

He looked at me skeptically. "Well okay, but if you need to talk, I'll… uh, be downstairs."

I nodded. "Thanks." My father shut the door, and I exhaled deeply.

_Did I love Austin? Oh no, it's the hormones again that are blazing in my stomach. Shit, calm down! Ally, no you don't love him. Trust me, you don't. It's just your mentality. All you're really feeling is 'like' not 'love.' So what, a cute moment between you guys happend. He hurt you, he started everything, he called you so many names, he shoved you against the wall, because of him, and every one hurts you. This is what he wants, Ally, to ruin you; you'd be damned if you actually believed that he'd actually like you back. _

I realized my conscious was right. I'd be damned if Austin liked me, let alone love me. So I just decided to ignore my hormones and that sensational tingling feeling in my stomach, forget what happened between us, and just forget about Austin in general.

But even though I tried, hell, I couldn't stop myself from rethinking about yesterday all over again.

* * *

><p>I remembered that Austin wanted me to come to detention early, so I asked my father to do so, which he did.<p>

And when I ended up sitting in front of the music room alone for about five minutes, waiting for Austin to arrive, I concluded that he set me up and messed with me.

But right after I believed he ditched me, footsteps echoed throughout the empty hallway. I turned my head, and there was Austin, smiling down at me.

"Man, I didn't know you'd actually come early." He smirked at my unamused face.

"Well, you certainly did not think you'd come early yourself since you're only _on time,_" I muttered angrily.

Austin rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Dawson." _Oh, so we're back to 'Dawson' again, aren't we?_ I sighed, realizing that my conscious was right: Austin really didn't like me.

He picked up my sigh for he looked at me quizzically. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply softly. _Denial._

"Okay, well can you please move yourself from the door so we could get in?"

I lifted my head up quickly, realizing I was still sitting down. "Oh! Yeah, sure." I get up slowly as he opened the door with his key that I never knew he had.

"Where did you get that?" I asked suspiciously as Austin jiggled the knob open.

"What?"

"The music room key." He opened the door and gestured for me to come in.

"Oh. Uh, I stole it," he replied as I walked in.

"Why? Is there a use for it?"

He groaned and closed the door behind him. "Please stop asking questions."

I smiled. "Wow, Austin Moon, the bad boy, actually knows the word 'please.' Wow. I'm impressed," I reply sarcastically.

He just smirks in agreement for a reply; which was good enough for me.

Austin sits at the piano, and nods his head, gesturing for me to come. I debate in my head whether it was safe or not, but I realize that we've been in much closer proximity before. I smile slightly and sit next to him at the piano.

"Is this why you asked me to come early?" I ask in annoyance. "Just so you can hear me play the piano?"

Austin nods. "A little birdie told me that you're fantastic, so I just wanted to know what the big deal about you was."

I roll my eyes towards him. "Is this little birdie named Eva?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Maybe, maybe not. Now play."

I look at him, smirking. "What happened to 'please'?"

He rolls his eyes and groans. "Please," he mutters sarcastically.

I turn my head towards the black and white keys, but all of a sudden, my mind went blank. I forgot how to play everything; the song for my mother, Little House! _Oh dear Jesus, I forgot how to play Little House! _My eyes widen largely, and my mouth drops down. I hesitantly place my fingers onto the piano, in hopes of remembering once more, but no avail.

I started to panic. "Um," I stutter.

Austin looks at me. "What's wrong?" he asks, confused.

"I forgot…" I whisper softly. How could I forget? Dyslexia doesn't necessarily mean memory lost, doesn't it?

"Do you have it written anywhere?" Austin asks.

I shake my head. "No you dumbass, I don't know how to write!"

"Jesus, Ally! Calm down!" he yells. Austin sighs, effectively calming him down and me for some reason. He looks at me. "Do you know the tune?"

And suddenly, the tune began playing in my head, but I still didn't know how to put it down onto the piano. I nod my head, referring to Austin's question.

He smiles to me warmly, "Then sing it."

"Which-which one?" I stutter, becoming very nervous to sing one of my songs in front of Austin.

Austin raises an eyebrow at me. "You have more than one?"

I nod my head. "Well what are they called?" he asks, continuing his previous sentence.

"Um, I wrote one song for my mom, and we wrote one together called Little House," I whisper.

Austin ponders on my choice of songs. "You wrote one song for your mom?" I nod my head.

"By yourself, or did Eva help you?" he asks.

"By myself."

He smiles. "Then sing that one."

My lips close shut, and my stomach begins erupting with butterflies. Not the good butterflies like the ones yesterday- uh I mean when someone's in love! It's those horrible butterflies that someone feels when they were about to throw up. And that was what I was exactly feeling when Austin told me to sing.

"Well," he says impatiently, "are you going to sing?"

"Uh, sure." He looks at me expectantly. "Just please don't judge me harshly!" I beg.

Austin smirks. "I wasn't going to judge you, anyway."

I smile and take a deep breath before beginning softly; almost too softly for even me to hear.

_I can't sleep tonight, wide awake and so confused_

_Everything's in line, but I am bruised_

_I need a voice to echo, I need a light to take me home_

_I kind of need a hero, is it you?_

_Can you be my Nightingale?_

_Sing to me, I know you're there_

_You could be my sanity_

_Bring me peace, sing me to sleep_

_Say you'll be my Nightingale_

And then, it was silent. There was no noise, only our breathing was heard, until Austin muttered softly, "Wow."

I smile. "Thanks."

He smiles back at me. "You have an incredible voice," he says, as if he didn't believe himself.

"Thank you."

"Well, does it have a title?" I shake my head. "Then call it… Nightingale."

"Nightingale?" Austin nods his head, and I reply smiling back. "Nightingale," I repeat, "okay, that can work."

"But it's missing something, don't you think?"

I look at Austin weirdly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean. It's great, no seriously, it is, but I think that maybe there should be an extra verse added between verse one and the chorus."

I raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

He nods back. "I got the chords down from when you were singing it. Does this sound right?" Austin then begins to play "Nightingale" on the piano like a professional.

My mouth hung open in disbelief. "Yeah, that's right," I say slowly.

He smirks at me "You really don't give me enough credit."

"Well, I'm sorry I don't! I'm not the one who plays on their phone the whole time during every single one of my classes!" I defend.

"Well, that's because I already know what the hell the teacher's talking about," he mutters under his breath.

"Wait, what did you say?" I ask looking at him suspiciously.

"Nothing!" he replies quickly. "Anyway, I think we can add this to your song." Austin then begins to play a beautiful tune.

"Yeah," I nod my head, "that can work."

He smiles triumphantly. "Yes!"

"Now the problem is-." Austin looks at me, his smile is gone. "I have a really hard time writing lyrics.

He rolls his eyes. "Lyrics? Please, they are _super_ easy to write, especially to that tune."

I scoff, offended. "Well then, Mr. Musician, why don't you make up lyrics out of the blue."

Austin smiles. "Already have."

He then begins to sing, beautifully if I may add.

_I never see the forest for the trees, I could really use your melody_

_Baby I'm a little blind, I think it's time for you to find me._

_Can you be my Nightingale, sing to me I know you're there. _

_You could be my sanity, bring me peace, sing me to sleep._

_Say you'll be my Nightingale_

I look at him and frown glumly. "How the hell did you think of that? I mutter in annoyance.

Austin laughs. "What can I say? I'm talented."

"That's hard for me to believe," I mummer under my breath.

"Hmm? What did you say?" asks Austin.

"Nothing," I reply with the same tone of voice.

"Nothing? I certainly beg to differ because it seems like Ms. Ally Dawson is jealous of me."

I scoff. "Ha, in your dreams."

He smiles back at me. "Well, it probably doesn't even make sense for you to be jealous of me." I looked at him, but his very sad and gloomy expression told me that we weren't talking about music anymore.

"Austin," I say softly. He turns to me, a bit sadder than before. "Are you alright?"

He nods his head vigorously, "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine." I look at him incredulously. "No, seriously, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Or are you going to pull off a stunt like you did last week?" His face then drops before me, as he realizes what happened last week.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologizes, now looking at his hands in his lap. "I don't know what happened to me."

"Hey," I say softly, pulling his chin up softly so we face each other. "I don't know why you did that, but I don't think that was something in your control to do. You don't have to apologize for something like that."

"Yeah, I guess not." But I still didn't believe him as he turns his head back to his hands.

"I forgive you."

And then his head shoots back up to face mine.

"For last week," I continue, as I realized that he may have believed I forgave him for everything else he had done. But I still had not, and by his expression, I could tell that he knew he wasn't fully forgiven.

"I'm sorry about last week too, then," he replies, making sure he adds "last week" into his sentence.

He began to stare at me, which I found him doing so more often. And suddenly, out of the blue, we found ourselves leaning in towards each other, slowly. Austin's hand gently cupped my face, bringing me closer to him. The touch of his rough, calloused hands against my smooth skin sent shivers around my body. His breath was hot and heavy against mine, which I would've been so against a couple of weeks ago. Now, I found myself leaning towards him. Our noses brushed slightly, and our lips were only millimeters a part.

Then, the door swung open, snapping me and Austin out of our trance; he was the king again, and I was the loser.

We looked towards the door to see who had rudely barged in. Much to both of our dismay, it was the last person we wanted to see with us together.

"What?" gasped Eva, her eyes bulging out. Austin didn't waste another second as he sped out of the room, roughly shoving Eva out of the doorway.

"Why are you here?" I ask, annoyed.

"Because this is my room," she replies matter-of-factly. "I needed to get some stuff, when I see you and Austin- never mind." Eva takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "You know what? I'm just going to leave." She turns around and leaves me alone in the room.

I sigh, suddenly upset, and look to where Austin was sitting. And then I saw it, laying on the ground underneath where his feet would have been.

A prescription of Prozac to Austin Moon.

* * *

><p><strong>I am so sorry for not updating… and I don't have a really good excuse for not doing so… so sorry. Anyway, this was a long chapter, with some Austin and Ally fluff, so I hope this makes up for it.<strong>

**Reviews would definitely be amazing! Thanks for my new followers and favorites!**


	14. How quickly do emotions change?

**I'd like to say something- **_**I saw the leaked A&A photo**_**… if you know what I mean- *a wink, wink***

**I'll let that sink in for a bit. Saw it? Got it? Ugh, I know right! The feels!**

**Yay! Thank you so much for finally reaching one hundred reviews! Yeah, it's not a lot to most of those amazing writers out here in this awesome Auslly fandom who usually get, like, three hundred reviews and over one hundred favorites and followers on chapter eight, but to me, I can't be more thankful. So thank you!**

**And just in case you didn't know (or wanted to know) Austin and Ally are eighteen and seniors. I think I said they were juniors in a previous chapter, but I am going to change that… review or PM if I missed anything saying what chapter it is.**

**Remember everyone here is OOC, or at least a little bit OOC.**

**Enjoy and thank you again!'**

"_A Drop in the Ocean" by Ron Pope_

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story._

* * *

><p><em>In the last chapter, Austin stops Ally after class and asks her if she was going to Saturday detentions that week. Confused, she replies with a 'yes.' Austin approves it and then leaves her without a legit answer. At lunch time, Ally was sitting alone when Austin's girlfriend, Marilyn, and her friends start to harass Ally by making fun of how she doesn't eat, the lunch fiasco, and make her think she looks stout in the jacket [her mother's] she was wearing. They ask her if she was hot, she says yes, and so they dump ice cold water on her. The teenagers start laughing at her and take videos and pictures of her humiliated. Austin witnessed the whole scene and he automatically feels guilty for doing something like that to her before. Ms. Bennett comes in and stops the kids from making fun of Ally, and before anyone notices, Ally runs outside. Austin goes out to comfort her, and he realizes that it felt right to him. He was automatically confused to why he was doing this, but lets it happen. Ally then notices little things about him that she hasn't seen before, and realizes that she loved him when he told her she was beautiful. She can't stop thinking about yesterday, and she is very confused. At detention, Austin wants to hear Ally play, but she can't remember. So, he helps her remember it and finishes a bit of it. They almost kiss, but Eva accidentally barges in on them. Austin runs out of the room and accidentally drops his Prozac on the ground. Ally sees it.<em>

* * *

><p>**Ally**<p>

When Eva shut the door, I immediately turned my head to the small bottle of Prozac in my hand. It was mocking me, obviously, telling me that I was stupid for not realizing that Austin needed anti-depressants.

With his reaction of me sleeping… believing I was _dead_, and all the crying… I found myself surprised to see that the bottle was only three quarters full.

I tightened my grip on the small bottle and walked out of the music room where Eva was waiting patiently to the side of the door. I then quickly hid the Prozac behind my back.

Eva noticed me and smirked playfully. "So… did I miss anything important, Ally? Hm? I don't know… maybe something like a little _romance_ between you and a certain blonde boy." She wiggled her eyebrows at me flirtatiously.

I rolled my eyes. "No, nothing happened between me and that Austin kid, Eva. Geez, don't jump to conclusions." I tried to step aside, but she pulled me back to stay in front of her. My grip tightened.

She then looks at me seriously, but bit her lip to suppress the smile forming. "I think that we need to stop calling Austin 'that Austin kid', now, Ally." I raised an eyebrow. "You obviously like him!" she squeals in pure delight. My hand tightened around the small pill bottle at her outburst.

"What… no I don't," I say awkwardly- denying everything I thought of only a couple of days ago.

Eva clapped both her hands over her mouth, but the smile behind it was still evident. "Oh the signs for first love!" she squealed again, happily.

I was getting tired of her lovey-dovey crap. My eyes shut close and an annoyed groan escaped my mouth. I rub my forehead with my free hand and look at Eva, who stopped squealing because of my reaction.

"No, Eva listen," my hand drops and so does her smile, "I. Don't. Like Austin. I don't like him! I cannot stress that enough, and I have many reasons to back up my answer, Eva. _Many. _Like, for one, he tormented me since I was only but a first grader. Pulled my hair, tripped me, pushed me, mentally-scarred me- you name it, he's done it. And it has never stopped.

"He covered me in spaghetti in front of the entire senior class, Eva- and then played it on morning announcements for the whole_ fucking_ school to see! And, he's still dating the she-devil _bitch_ named Marilyn who effectively torments me every day; he shoved me against a wall- roughly if I may add- and threatened to make my life miserable when it already was! And the god-damn principal doesn't do one thing about it!" By then I was screaming loudly.

I still had some more to say. "He humiliates me, Eva, and he just-just-just." I stutter, trying to find the tight words, "… hurt me too much to the point where I can't trust him. I can't even trust the thought _of_ him. It's impossible for me to love a boy," I sigh heavily, tired from all my screaming, "… who I don't trust. So tell me, Eva, why would I love Austin, hm? Why?" I say coarsely.

Eva's frown forms into a slight and delicate smile as she looks at me straight in the eye. "I don't have a good reason for you to trust him."

"See-."

"But!" she interrupts, "I saw it." I look at her quizzically. Her smile grows wider.

"I saw it- love, Ally. And even though I may have never experienced this… emotion before, I'm no fool to say I can recognize it when I see it plainly playing in front of me.

"It's there Ally! It really, truly, one hundred positively _is_. He treats you gently like he actually does _love _you. Have you seen the way he looks at you? Have you seen the way he treats you when you guys are alone? I may have only witnessed the scene that just happened recently, but I believe that you guys act differently when you're not near anyone. And what I just saw? It proves my theory.

"Just think about it. The only time he doesn't show affection is when he's around his peers. Now, don't ask me why he doesn't show any affection for anyone -including Marilyn- when he's at school because frankly, I don't have an answer to that. But really, could you please be a little bit more observant? Have you _intently_ looked at his small movements, how he looks at someone differently when he's in _love_, how he carries himself, how he talks, how he even _walks_, okay? Everything about him becomes _different_ because he is in love. And soon his personality will become different, he'd become a new man, and no one would recognize him."

"But, Eva-"

She didn't let me finish. "He'd want to spend more time with you, and it's quite evident that he maybe does want to stay with you more often now, isn't it?"

I nod my head, remembering how he'd asked me to play the piano with him, and how he comforted me in the rain.

"See, he's got feelings for you," smiles Eva.

I shake my head. "Okay, so maybe he _does _like me- maybe you're right." Eva nods her head, telling me to continue. "But all you did was say why you think _he_ loves me, Eva," I reply, "you never answered why _I_ should love him back."

"Well, I don't have an answer to _that_," she replies bluntly. I scoff, effectively proving my point.

"I don't have many answers, to be honest," she continues honestly, "But I do know someone who can possibly answer all of them if they're willing to try."

I look up at Eva, my mouth pursed in a straight line because I knew who she was going to say already. And right now, it was the last thing I wanted to hear, and she knew it.

But Eva continues anyway. "If only they're willing to look beyond the past memories they shared, and be brave; be somebody who _absolutely_ needs to know. Who wants to figure him out and has the patience for doing so… but I don't know if she will because it really is such a hard task. And I know she wants to, very badly, but I do admit, Austin's a hard mystery to solve. But I believe in her. I really, truly do think she can do this. The problem is… does _she_ believe in _herself_?"

Her words sunk in as I looked down at the ground, wondering if I really did believe in myself… if everything Eva said was actually true. I wasn't sure if I was ready to believe in myself, though, to take such a risk… because, seriously, was Austin _really_ worth it?

I look back up at my twenty-four year old friend, who is surprisingly wise, and she replies to my action with a faint smile. She says no more and walks past me to go to the music room to get her things, and that's when I suddenly remember I was carrying Austin's Prozac.

I swung the bottle in front of me as Eva opened the door from behind and walked away from her quickly.

And turning towards the corner I was seemingly infatuated with the little bottle- my surrounding weren't too sharp. But soon, I let out a sharp yelp in surprise as I made eye contact with the last person I needed to see, Austin, who was leaning against the wall _not_ far away from when Eva and I had our conversation. He quickly tenses up as if he didn't know I was coming, and I rapidly put the Prozac behind my back out of instinct.

"Detention's over," he states, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Uh, thank you for letting me know." I wait for a moment, wondering if he had something more to say. An awkward silence suddenly grew between us as I realized that he had heard _everything_. When he didn't say anything else, I ask, "Is that all?"

"Yeah." And he turns away from me, walking at a very fast pace so I wouldn't catch up with him.

* * *

><p>I was confused. No, that was an understatement. I was completely bewildered at the thought of anything Austin Moon.<p>

I remembered the details of what Eva had said- _every single one._ Little things I'm surprised she knew like how Austin didn't actually like Marilyn, how he acts around someone, and when he's around his peers. It was almost as if she actually dated him beforehand.

I sit up straight in my bed at what I just concluded. Austin, Eva, _dating? _Impossible. _I shouldn't have even thought of that, stupid Ally. Stupid! That was a good joke… it was joke, okay? Haha, very funny._

I lie back down, unable to go to rest because of… everything.

Too much has happened. _Way _too much for me to understand.

These things weren't supposed to happen to me, and to be frank I blame it all on Ms. Bennett. Everything was because Austin and I were forced to spend those stupid Saturday detentions together, and because of it, Austin acts around me differently, I found out so many things about him I never even knew. Like- like he takes anti-depressants and has an actual soft side! It's getting me into a mess I never intended to get into.

But then the other half was Eva… I have never been more suspicious about her in my life before. That conversation almost seemed like Eva knew Austin or something; like she had a history with him.

I sit back up again, my abdomen muscles straining a bit, and I realized something I should have noticed as Eva was talking. It is true.

What she had said not only confirmed her suspicion of Austin and I's sort of odd relationship, but confirmed my suspicion that was on my mind for quite a long time- Eva and Austin _did _have a history.

* * *

><p>The next day at school, I brought Austin's prescription. It was safe in my backpack, and I was tempted to actually take one. But right now, I really wasn't depressed, so my conscious fought my urge.<p>

It was first period: English and literature class. Austin was already behind me, on his phone- as usual. And he didn't look up at me like I hoped, but I ignored it and sat down in my seat in front of him.

_I guess he's still hung over what happened on Saturday, _I thought.

The class drones on as the teacher talk about some quotes from the book we were currently reading and what they mean. I tried my best to pay attention to the teacher and keep my eyes open, while Austin tried his best to ignore what the teacher was saying and keep his eyes open on his phone screen.

After the period was done, I turn around and face Austin.

"Hey." He doesn't look up. "Um, about Saturday-."

"I don't want to hear about Saturday," he says quickly, bluntly, emotionless and hollow- the last emotions I wanted to hear.

"Can I just say something?" I ask.

"No!" he interrupts quickly. "Okay, no. It's the past. History. It's _done._"

I was in shock. In didn't seem like it was more than history to me… "No, it's not done," I say stubbornly. "We just don't _forget_ about history Austin. Kids learn about history in school because it gives off a chain effect, and you want to break it? Well, I'm sorry but that not possible because I just applied heat to the metal." I stand my ground.

"Fine," replies Austin, equally stubborn. "Then I'll just get a chainsaw to do it for me."

I shake my head and laugh lowly. "I don't think that's possible."

"And why the hell not?" he challenges.

My face becomes stoic as I whip out his prescription. "Because of this."

His face drops, his eyes bulge, and he becomes utterly speechless. I don't dare move a muscle, afraid of what he might burst to.

"Where the _hell_ did you get that?" hisses Austin under his breath.

"You dropped it," I reply straightforwardly.

He grabs it from my hand, and looks at it disbelievingly. His throat then emits a deep, beastly growl, scaring the living shit out of me. He looks at me straight in the eye, his lip was curled. "When," he snarls slowly.

"Excuse me," says a deep feminine voice that didn't belong to me. "My next class is starting to come, so I suggest you take your conversation elsewhere," warns the teacher.

"Sorry, Mrs. Fitzpatrick," apologizes Austin, directly to the teacher. He then looks at me, hatred in his eyes. "Come on, Ally," says Austin, feigning his calmness, "we wouldn't want to disrupt Mrs. Fitzpatrick, wouldn't we?"

Before I could reply back with a 'yes' or 'no' or even a nod or shake, Austin yanks me by the arm and drags me down the hallway; his grip was tight on the Prozac. He then shoves me in a near janitor's closet; his breath was hot.

"Well this is a compromising position," I mutter under my breath, trying to hold back a laugh. Austin looked at me with one expression that silenced me from saying another word.

"I can't do this," he mumbled slowly, as if he was ashamed to say it.

I looked at him. "Can't do… what?" He didn't reply, but instead looked down at his expensive shoes, biting his lip. I slowly tried to lift his head up, delicately, to meet my gaze, but he roughly swatted my hand away.

"I can't do _this_!" he says louder and clearer, his hand motioning towards between us. I try to find words, but it seems that they all became stuck in my throat.

"You can't do… what?" I repeat. It was all I could say.

Austin lets out a loud and frustrated groan. "I can't… be friends with you, Ally. I just can't. Happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

My breath stops for a moment, surprised by what he just said. Then, I immediately become saddened, as I choke on the tears that were beginning to well up inside of me. "Why?" I asked sadly.

"Because…" He trailed the sentence down.

"Because why?" I yelled, fresh new tears running down my face.

"Because I don't want to be associated with you!" he yelled, louder than I could ever believe it was possible. He took a deep breath, and continued in a much softer voice. "Look. I-I can't be friends with you. I want to Ally… I do, it's just that… I can't… you…" he stuttered, trying to find the right words, but ultimately decided to leave me hanging. "I just can't be friends with you."

My bottom lip quivered. "But Austin, _I_ want to be friends with you. You have given me hope that I had never felt before. Everything that we did last week, what happened, I mean… it…" I debated curtly deciding whether I should say this, but eventually decided to. "Affected me. Everything we did together… dare I say it again, affected me. Did it not affect you, too?" I asked softly.

"Every inch of it." He looked at me, then quickly turned away from me with a despondent expression on his face. "And that's why I can't be friends with you."

Austin then stormed out of the closet, slamming the door shut with a loud bang. It seemed to make the whole closet vibrate and shake everything inside, including me. Was that it? Was that already the end? My prince, the person I thought might save me, leaving me confused, betrayed, and forgotten in a closet, shaken up? Was that how fairy-tales actually ended?

I slid down to the ground and closed my eyes, the tears dripping slowly from my eyes. And I sat there, wondering what the hell just happened.

Austin never wanted to be associated with me. He never even wanted to become friends with me. What was this, a plan? An imprudent, atrocious plan he made with his friends to play me like a harp, playing with my heart like a toy? Was this already the end?

And then it hit me.

He left me. Austin left me. Forever.

I suddenly felt dizzy again, except it seemed to take over my whole body instead of just my head. I felt light-headed, useless, and hurt. Only weeks ago, I would have been happy that he would finally leave me alone, but now, all I want is him. Austin affected me, when he became much nicer… softer with me… it was just this overwhelmingly good feeling that is like an addiction. I wanted more of it. But now, he stripped it away from me, an avaricious and narcissistic move.

I thought I had loved him- I thought he loved me! Now, I would never feel this feeling again- I'd never feel love. For he made me believe that I was adored by him, but he ended up leaving me stranded in a janitor's closet to weep. _That_ is not what love is. I missed it. His soft touch against me, his warm breath against my cheek, his lips brushing against my neck, it all seemed to make me feel better. Even his _presence_ made me feel better.

And that's when I realized how much you miss something until it's actually gone.

I was right.

I'm a fool to believe he'd actually like me back.

* * *

><p>**Austin**<p>

I stared at the way too familiar building in front of me from my car. It still looked the same, except the brick walls were a much duller color, and the green covering over the entrance seemed to be grey now. The same sounds were heard, though: cars beeping and swooshing past the old building that they probably don't even know the name of… even though it's been here for seven years.

I get up and walk towards the building, slowly, unsure if I wanted to enter. Eva said that it would be good for me to go back… I guess I trusted her. Besides, there was no going back now… she had already signed me up for it.

As soon as I enter, I was greeted by a new and much younger secretary who smiled at me. She leaned forward a bit more and smiled an artificial smile.

"Hey hon," she says sweetly, "what can I do for you."

I cough, uncomfortable in her presence. "I'm actually here for a support group. My friend, Evangeline Kowalkski signed me up for one that's led by Elise Ballinger."

I smiled at the name. She was probably one of the most understanding person I met when I went through difficult times. I missed her, and I missed the other teenagers in my group, too.

The secretary smiles bigger. "What's your name, sweetheart?" she asks flirtatiously.

I force myself not to gag. "Austin. Austin Moon."

She smiles again, to the point where her eyes begin to squint. "Down the hall to your right. Second to last door on your left, sweetie."

"Um, thank you."

I turn my around, but the secretary calls after me. "Tell me if you need anything else!" she calls. I roll my eyes and don't reply.

I already knew where it was. When I came here, I memorized the whole building by heart. It didn't take me long to reach the wooden door with a piece of paper taped to it saying:

_Group Support. Elise Ballinger._

I sighed and turned the door knob. _Here goes nothing,_ I mutter under my breath. I stepped into the room and closed the door. Everyone stopped and looked at me, and they all became silent.

"Austin Moon?" gasped my first friend here, Dez, in surprise.

I chuckled. "The one and only."

"Where the hell were you this whole time?" asked the sarcastic familiar voice that belonged to my other friend, Trish.

"Hey, Trish," I reply. "It's nice to see you again, too."

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, you know I love you."

I smirk and sit in my seat, next to Dez. He looked back at me and smiled.

"Dude… where have you been?" he asks disbelievingly.

I shrug. "Out and about."

"Why are you here? Not like I don't want you to be here, but why?"

"I need it again, I guess… the real question is 'why are _you_ still here'? Don't you want to get out of this place already?"

Dez ponders over it a moment. "Nah, it's pretty chill here. Plus I still need it so there's not much I can do about it."

I nod. Dez had an intellectual disability. He had accidentally ate some paint chips when he was younger and it gave him lead poisoning. He then became very slow and was severely bullied in school to the point where he considered suicide. His mom signed him up for group, and I guess he never left.

Dez smiled a bright smile. "You know either way, it's good to have you back. I thought I was going to be stuck with a bunch of girls."

I laugh. "Is being stuck with girls really that bad?" I look around the room- Caroline and Dylan had left, but two new girls were here. One girl had dark, artificial red hair and a nose ring. She wore a beanie and an army colored jacket. The other girl looked young, and had brown hair. She sunk into the chair- obviously intimidated by everyone.

"Nah, I guess it's not that bad," he agreed.

"Yeah, and you still got Jared." I looked next to the red-haired girl where Jared sat, and he really hasn't changed. Brown hair, brown eyes, same hairstyle. I looked over at Trish who was staring at him dreamily, and then back at Dez who was staring back at Jay enviously.

"Who said I was happy about that?" he spat.

I remembered that Trish used to have this huge crush on Jay, and I'd always push her towards him teasingly. Then Dez would get all jealous or something like that- it was obvious who he liked. By then, a love triangle had evolved, and I guess it's still going on.

I smirk. "Dez, do you still like Trish?"

He snaps back from staring at Jared, then looks at me. "What? No."

My smirk grows. "Are you sure? It seems like you do. You're still staring at Trish."

Dez scoffs in reply. "We're just friends."

I look at him incredulously. "I don't know… you seem pretty jealous of Jared."

"What? No, I'm not. Seriously, Austin, we're just friends." He basically repeated everything he said previously, so I concluded that he didn't want to talk about it.

I let the subject go. "So, Dez. Who are the two new girls?"

He visibly relaxed, thankful I stopped talking about Trish, and smiled. "Those two?" he asks- pointing to the red head and the shy one.

I nod my head. "Yeah."

He points to the red head. "Andrea. Schizophrenia. She's a feisty little thing- so careful-, but she's pretty chill most of the time."

"Really?" I ask. "Schizophrenia?" Dez nods. "She doesn't look like she has it. I mean, she's chatting and everything, and it looks like she has good hygiene- how old is she, anyway?"

"Twenty-one."

I raise an eyebrow. "Twenty-one? She could be out of here right now."

"I know, but she said that her mother wanted her to attend this one because she heard that this place was good. She's not _completely_ well, but good enough. She likes the place, though, so she stays. And she's been improving. When you left, she came in right away."

"Oh, okay then." I look to the other girl, slouching in her chair. "What about her?"

"Bethany, but she goes by Beth. Social anxiety."

"Really. Social Anxiety? That's it."

Dez nods. "Yeah. But it's really bad. None of us could get her to talk for, like, three weeks. All she did was listen. Whenever someone tried to speak to her- literally ran the other way."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

Suddenly the door swung open, squeaking loudly. "I'm sorry for being late." Rushing like usual, it was our speaker, Elise. She sighed closing the door. "Traffic these day-." She stopped mid-sentence as she suddenly turned around made eye contact with me.

She blinked once. Twice. Three times. Then smiled. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Monica."

I groaned loudly and sink into my chair as the class laughed under their breaths. "I thought I told you not to tell anyone."

She laughed back. "There are no secrets in this support group." She sits down in her chair and sighs. "Well then, let's get started." She then looks at Beth and Andrea. "Wait! Beth, Andrea, would you please introduce yourself to Monica?"

"I'll go," says Andrea quickly. She stands up then looks at me. "Before I start, why the hell is your name Monica?"

I look up at her. "My name's not Monica, it's Austin."

"Then why Monica?"

"Because it's my middle name," I mutter under my breath. Andrea burst into a fit of laughter, while everyone else laughs under their breath. Beth manages a small smile.

"Okay, that sucks!" she says laughing, still. I stare at her, emotions stoic. "Not funny? Okay then. Well then.

"The name's Andrea. Andrea Pizzulo." She looks at Elise. "What else."

"Age and why you're here," replies Elise.

I already knew it. "Twenty-one and schizophrenia," I reply back.

Dez inhales a sharp breath. "Wrong answer," he mutters.

I expected Andrea to explode or something like what Dez warned me about, but all she does was smirk. "Normally I'd flip my shit on you," Dez glances over me in worry, but I kept my face stoic, "but I'd be doing myself a favor by not beating up your face- it's easier to stare at. Either you or Coppertop over there," she points a finger at Dez who looks offended, "and you're a good second next to Jay-." He lets out a low chuckle. "I'd like to keep your face nice-looking. B-T- dubs, you got 'dat correct." She smiled and sat back down.

"By the way, I thought of that nickname- Coppertop," added Trish while she raised her hand.

"Thank you, Trish," says Elise. "Bethany?" Her tone of voice was much softer than how she spoke to Andrea.

The girl vigorously shakes her head like it was vibrating, and brings her legs closer to her body, hugging it tightly.

"Oh come on, Beth," says Andrea encouragingly, "I did it, what makes you think you can't. No one's judging you."

Beth shakily removes her arms from around her lugs, and her breath becomes faster. A slight blush appears on her face as she stands up, and she chews on her bottom lip.

"It's alright, Beth, why don't you introduce yourself to Austin," says Elise.

"Okay," she mutters softly- so softly it was barely audible. She hurriedly says in a quiet voice, "My name's Bethany Gellar, I'm seventeen, I have SAD, I'm very nervous right now, and I'm done."

Elise smiles towards Beth. "Well that wasn't too bad, right?" Bethany doesn't say anything. "Well okay then. Austin, why don't you introduce yourself."

"Same thing like they did?" I ask.

"Same thing," agrees Elise.

I sighed because I always hated to explain my disorder. I get up from my seat and am about to explain when I get interrupted.

"Wait." I looked to my right where Jay lazily rested his head on the back of the seat.

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Tell us why you're here, too. Why you came back," he says crossing his arms and looking me in the eye, challenging me.

I was about to object, but Trish beats me to it. "Actually…" I turn my head to her in disbelief, "I'd like to hear, too. Why'd you leave us Austin?"

The group hummed in assent- including Dez. He looked at me and nodded his head. "Yeah… what's your great excuse for leaving me to survive here by myself?" He kept a straight face, but his tone was playful and unserious.

I sigh, knowing there was no going back out of this. "My name is Austin Moon-."

"Don't forget Monica," coughs Andrea under her breath. Everyone laughed under their breaths.

"_Anyway_." The class stopped laughing. "I'm eighteen years-old. A senior in this place called Marino High. And there's this girl." Everyone looked up at me, immediately giving me their attention. I continue. "She goes to my school and is in my grade. And for some reason… she triggers my disorder…"

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><p><strong>Don't hate me for leaving you guys with unanswered questions :P You'll get them soon enough ;)<strong>

**More chapters coming soon since my spring break is starting next week! There are more pictures on my profile!**

**Reviews mean the world to me! Thank you so much for the feedback, guys and the new favorite and followers! I appreciate it!**


	15. It's only a distraction

**Apologies for lack of updates. I was procrastinating on this chapter because I dreaded writing it. I hate everyone here. Especially Ally's dad. Well everyone except for the people in Austin's group. And suddenly, Jared's my favorite. You'll find out why soon enough. HUGE props to punkturnedwriter who keeps on inspiring me. Love her! …I think I even quoted her multiple times. LOL. Do yourselves a favor by preparing yourselves for a pretty long chapter.**

**By the way: Got any song suggestions? Please feel free to leave a review. Let's do this.**

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><p>"<em>Almost Is Never Enough" by Ariana Grande featuring Nathan Sykes.<em>

_Standard Disclaimer Applies: I do not own Austin and Ally or any of the products, artists, etc. mentioned in this story._

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><p><em>In the previous chapter, Ally keeps the Prozac Austin dropped. When she leaves the room, Eva asks Ally what is going on between her and Austin, but Ally says there is nothing. It is evident that Eva wants Ally and Austin to be together. It is confirmed that she does when she tells Ally that Austin probably, most likely, or does like her back. Ally agrees with Eva as Eva points out how Austin reacts around girls when he is in love. However, Ally still finds herself in denial since Austin is such a mystery that she isn't sure if she wants to solve and because he hurt her so much, but Eva assures her that she believes in her and that she could solve it and claims that she had witnessed love between them. When she walks away from Eva, she accidentally bumps into Austin who was hearing distance away from where she and Eva had their conversation. He acts cold towards and says detention is over. At home, she realizes that what Eva said was absolutely true- too true, and finally concludes that Austin and Eva did share a past together. If they didn't, Eva wouldn't know so much about Austin. When Ally is at school, she hands the Prozac to Austin, but he then suddenly grows furious. He takes her inside a janitor's closet and says that he does not want to be friends with her [Ally] anymore. Ally, utterly sad, says that he affected her. Austin says that she affected him to, which is why he can't be friends with her. He then leaves Ally in the janitor's closet, dejected.<em>

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><p>Ally sat on her bed, resting her head on the wall in pure melancholy. Her mouth was relaxed- slightly open- and she stared blankly at the wall across from her. She blinked, breathed, and that was about it.<p>

Not one emotion came across- absolutely _nothing_. She felt utterly useless, like a waste of space and air. All she wanted to do was die.

_I sat alone in the janitor's closet, hugging my knees close to my chest. My well of tears ran dry, and it was roughly about fourth period- right before lunch. I was surprised no one had looked for me or even opened the janitor's closet due to my absence. But why should I be surprised? It seemed as if everyone already hated me. But I guess it's okay. I should be used to it by now. _

_My eyelids and head felt heavy as it rested against the paint-chipped wall of the smelly closet. I skipped the rest of my morning periods and made no attempt to get out of this position after what happened between me and Austin recently… I wasn't planning to either anytime soon. _

In attempt to get her to wake up, she soon began to lightly bang her head on the wall- repeatedly. Nothing. She began to do it harder, slowing it down, making sure that it affected her so that everything that happened at school that day could be forgotten.

Nothing.

_I began to bite my lip, drawing blood, while Austin's words still rang in my mind. _

"_I don't want to be friends with you," he had said, "I don't want to be associated with you."_

_I told him what I thought and poured out every emotion that I possibly could contain in one sentence, telling him that whatever he did affected me. _

_He felt the same, but left me alone to wonder about his choice of words._

_Of course he didn't like me… why was I bringing it up? I went over that already._

Banging her head had no effect on her, and she was immediately frustrated. She scanned her room, searching for something harder that may give her what she was wishing… also known as pain.

But she'd argue it was only a mere distraction.

A distraction from the life she always wanted to get away from.

She forgot that maybe happiness was a distraction. Why didn't she wear her mom's orange jacket today?

_Saying I was sad was an understatement. I don't even believe that there is a single word out there that can describe what I was feeling right then and there._

_Betrayal. Loss. Anger. Sadness. Depressed. Given-up. Not a single word in the English dictionary can summarize everything. And to be honest, there really shouldn't be. _

_Everything about those feelings felt awful._

She picked up her chemistry book scattered among all of the books of all her classes, and held it close to her face. Hesitantly (only because she believed that it would look utterly stupid), she started banging the front of her head with the book.

Her head then began to hurt like it was pounding against her skull. She already felt the blue and purple mark forming on the front of her head. She liked the feeling and continued.

A concussion was quite possible with both the forces clashing together as hard as possible.

If her peers were to look at her right now, they'd laugh- very hard. But Ally knew that what she was doing shouldn't be laughed at.

_Lips touched. Heat radiating off our bodies. So. Close. Everything was just so close. I could have avoided being stuck in a janitor closet if only we weren't interrupted._

_It was all too much for me to comprehend in only a matter of days. I mean, look at what had happened! On Saturday, Austin and I were only centimeters away, our breaths was basically one, and before I knew it, he doesn't want to be associated with me._

_Maybe he was just caught up in the moment? But it sounds far ridiculous than ever realizing that he wanted to see me._

_I was beyond confused. _

_I was beyond alright._

She felt overwhelmingly dizzy as the book dropped from her hands and it plopped to the ground near her feet. The pounding pain felt nice.

And then she began again, hitting her head repeatedly on her wall, forcing the lump in her throat down.

Ally was going crazy- mentally insane, perhaps, and it was sad because she knew it too. But who could care less?

Who gave a shit about Ally anymore?

No one gives a fuck about her! No one!

Would they care if she'd die in a hole? Oh, probably not, but instead they'd most likely be willing to dig the hole for her.

She then found herself growing angrier, and she hit her head harder- the bruise becoming much more severe.

Everything that happened that day- oh, she wished she could forget. She wished it never happened for she was beyond mortified and hurt.

_I was about to get up when the bell rings, and soon the sound of teenagers talking filled the air. I then hear some laughter, some gasps, some snickers, and I can't help myself but wonder what it was about._

_And then I hear it. "You said she's here?" asks a feminine voice. I would be stupid if I didn't recognize it to be owned by Marilyn. Her whisper was soft, and I could tell she didn't want me to hear. _

_But I did. And I didn't like it._

_The next voice killed me. "Yeah, I left her in here," says Austin, not so discreetly. "Annoying little bitch," he adds. I felt my stomach churn as I realized he wasn't faking anything._

_Marilyn laughs. "Babe, I can't believe you! Associating yourself with her for me. Girl's a whore- I mean look at all of this, I can't believe you got that for me," she says- voice still soft._

"_Yeah, how did you even make all of this? It looks legit."_

"_Know a guy."_

_I then began to process what they were saying, then I hear the door click. _

_They locked it._

_But before I can bang on the door or even react, a paper slides through the bottom. Then another, and then another. It looked like printed e-mails._

Ally screamed, loudly, probably loud enough for her neighbors to hear. But she didn't care- nope, not one bit. Her father didn't hear since he had to go back to work, saying how he was having problems with some of his boss and his job in general. He had to sort some things out with his him or something like that.

Acutually, he was ultimately glad that he couldn't be with her- especially after what he had done to her today. Well, her face still hurt. And when she began throwing random objects scattered randomly around her room, she found herself wishing that her mom was here.

The jacket was somewhere safe, though, so that she wouldn't do any harm to it. And just the thought of her mother and her jacket made Ally want to scream and hurt herself more.

So she continued to throw, scream, and cry alone in her room- not knowing what the hell she was doing and why. All she knew was that it somehow managed to get the anger, sadness, and memories out of her system. But she hated how the progression of forgetting everything began to slow.

_I hesitantly drag one towards me with my foot, and shakily lift it up. Then, my eyes widen, as I read the printed e-mail, suddenly becoming worried, humiliated, and full of rage._

_It had said:_

_**To: Allison Dawson**_

_**From: Alexander Hudson**_

_**Subject: about tonight**_

_**Hey baby. can't wait to see you on my bed tonight ;)**_

"_What?" I gasped, flipping to the printed e-mail._

_**To: Curtis Ward**_

_**From: Allison Dawson**_

_**I'll bring the honey, you get the wine. See ya in couple of days. Make your best moves- don't hold back.**_

_**To: Allison Dawson**_

_**From: Jonathon Perez**_

_**I'll give you some more money if you work harder for it.**_

_I gaped at what was in front of me. There were more e-mails scattered on the ground, lying aimlessly. I was too afraid to actually pick up another one, knowing already what I was going to see. And… he e-mails were addressed or from… guys in my class._

_Someone made fake e-mails… believing I slept with multiple boys at the same time._

_Furiously, I got up and tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. I shook it furiously, grunting._

_Nothing._

"_Hey!" I barked, pounding on the door. "Open it!" I banged on the door louder. "Somebody, please open it!" I screamed. _

_Laughter was heard from outside as tears streamed down my face. I kicked the door and pounded on it, but all they did was laugh._

_Minutes had passed, and I the only option for me right there was to give up. I rested my head on the door with a loud thud, and closed my eyes as tears began dripping down my neck._

_Still looking down, I suddenly opened my eyes… and there it was._

_**Can you be my Nightingale?**_

_**Sing to me, I know you're there**_

_**You could be my sanity**_

_**Bring me peace, sing me to sleep**_

_**Say you'll be my Nightingale**_

_They were the lyrics… to my song? What?_

_I picked up the certain e-mail, and behind that stack of paper, and saw some of the other lyrics were written on more fake e-mails addressed to different people. _

_I looked at the one in front of me, seeing that it was "from me" and "to Garret Jackson." There were my lyrics, and a note below it._

_**Remember I love you, baby, you work me again and again. Can't wait for Sunday. **_

_And it looked as if it was copied and pasted to different e-mails addressed to different people. Someone had heard my song and used it against me._

Ally threw her books against anything hard she could find, screaming in rage. She punched the wall repeatedly until she found her skin beginning to tear open a bit, drawing redness quite quickly due to the lack of skin covering it. Blood soon caked her knuckles, as the cut began to peel open, painfully slow.

She wants to tear them further- she wants to feel more pain for the pleasure. Some people would consider this masochistic, but she'd only consider it as a distraction.

A horribly painful distraction, but the most efficient at the same time.

_I bashed on the door louder, now motivated with anger. "Somebody open the door!" I yelled, pounding on it now with full force. My wrists hurt like hell and so did my feet from kicking the door._

_And as if someone heard my plea, the door swung open. _

_I fell forward to be greeted by probably half of the senior body taking pictures or videos of me with my face red and with tear-stained cheeks. They jeered and mocked me- singing my song off key, laughing hysterically as if it was supposed to be the funniest thing ever._

"_Oh I wonder who was in the closet with her this time?" said someone, chuckling._

"_They probably locked her in there realizing how horrible of a kisser she was," said another._

"_The sign on the door says it all."_

_I turned around me and there written in bold, capital letters, it said:_

**ONLY FIFTY CENTS FOR A GOOD TIME**

Ally screamed as if she was getting tortured, dropping down on her knees screaming and crying as loud as she possibly can. Her head was pounding mercilessly against her skull. She stopped screaming as it morphed slowly into cries of agony. The palms of her hands rubbing against her head and eyes in order for it to stop.

Yeah, she wanted to feel pain. She liked it too.

But Ally learned the hard that whatever she likes will always have a dark side too it. And in the end, she would somehow always end up regretting it.

"_Ms. Dawson," ridiculed Ms. Bennett. I realized that it was she who opened up the closet. _

_I looked to my side, and there I saw Austin locking lips with Marilyn passionately. He pulled back slowly as if he didn't want to, while Marilyn smiled. Austin looked towards me just slightly, then back at Marilyn, then quickly back at me like a double-take. His mouth dropped slightly at the sight of me, but it wasn't long before Marilyn pulled him back down towards her for a hot and searing kiss._

_I looked to my other side, and there was Eva, witnessing everything happen. There were tears streaming down her face as she cried along with me. But seeing her a distance away made me cry even more because she didn't try to help me. No, she just watched everything play out before her. However, I didn't miss all of the e-mail taped to the walls of the school for everyone to see._

"_Ms. Dawson," said Ms. Bennett again. I forced my attention towards her and not at all the stares from all of the seniors who quieted down- wanting to know what would happen next. "My office, now."_

It was silent. No cries were heard, no screams, no anything. Just nothing. Ally lied on the ground, staring at the blank ceiling now.

Everything was the same again. Her mouth was relaxed- slightly open. She blinked, breathed, and that was about it.

The cycle repeated itself.

Now she really felt like a waste of space and air.

"_Allison, care to explain these?" asked Ms. Bennett, laying all of the fake e-mails on her desk for me to see._

"_They're fake," I replied, timidly, looking anywhere but at the principal or the papers._

"_Ms. Dawson, I hate to say this, but they look awfully real." Ms. Bennett took one of the papers into her hand as she examined it slowly. "These are lovely lyrics, Ms. Dawson. It's a shame that you wasted it on such poor excuses for men."_

"_They're fake!" I yelled, this time. "You have no right to judge what those lyrics are for, Ms. _Bennett_." I spit on her desk, forgetting how rude that act was. But I didn't give a single shit about my manners right now._

_Ms. Bennett pursed her lips. "I think that you're not feeling to well now dear-."_

"_Oh really now, you think?" I spat back venomously. "Yeah, when people somehow get your song and decide to use it against you? Please, it definitely just puts the cherry on top of beautiful morning," I reply sarcastically._

_The principal tried to remain calm. "Look, Ms. Dawson, if the song is special to you, then please inform me why it is, and we can forget about this whole thing."_

_I pursed my lips together. I wasn't willing to just spill my feeling in front of anyone, especially to somebody who believes I'm sleeping with different kids in my class using songs I wrote to swoon them. So, I don't reply to what she said. Instead, I cross my arms stubbornly, and let tears flow down my face, being silent as possible._

_Knowing she wouldn't get a reply, Ms. Bennett sighed heavily. "Very well, then. I suppose I will just talk to you tomorrow. I'll call your father-."_

"_What?!" I look at the principal who didn't flinch as she began to type my father's number on the old school phone. I didn't want my father to be mad at me._

"_Ms. Dawson, you don't look like you're in the healthy state of returning back to your classes. Considering what just happened only a couple of minutes ago with your classmates, I choose that it's best for you to return home."_

_I huff out angrily and stand up- pointing my finger at her accusingly. "I think I know what's better for me than you do."_

"_Well it certainly looks like you're not," shots back Ms. Bennett. "If you are not willing to compromise with me right now and tell me what is wrong, then why should you be ready to return to your classes?"_

_I stay still, but then cry silently as I sat back down in my chair realizing that she made a point._

"_Good afternoon, Mr. Dawson… This is Katherine Bennett, Allison's principal."_

She was tired. Overwhelmingly tired. Ally had just finished the cycle of hurting herself. It had taken her six times of the cycle for her to stop.

She was just tired of everything- it all seemed to be the same. Ally always felt depressed- crying was normal for her. Sometimes, she'd find herself crying even when her mind wasn't occupied with any sad memories. Crying became second nature.

Tears flew down more as Ally remembered the last parts of her day.

_When Ms. Bennett had finished her call with my, she dismissed me, but made sure I would come see her after school the next day. I nodded and didn't say a word to her after that._

_By the time I left her office, the hallways were filled with just a bit less than before. Some of them, I guess, were tired of the scene already and went to go to the cafeteria to eat lunch, while some people stayed, wondering what would happen to me. _

_In other words, it was still a large crowd._

_I lowered my head in shame as I walked through the hallways. Pictures and videos were taken, people were whispering, while others weren't so discreet._

"_Ha, look at the whore."_

"_What do guys see in her?"_

"_They probably just want a good time."_

"_But still, they're willing to pay?"_

"_I heard she swoons them with her songs."_

"_Please, I bet they're all about how she wants to fuck them breathless."_

"They were fake!" cried Ally, alone in her room. Right now, she was curled up in fetal position with her head in her knees and arms hugging them. She cried into her long sleeve shirt that was once tight, but now fell limply against them.

She didn't even realize how much weight she had lost, and how unhealthy it was. But right now, it seemed trivial. What had gone down between her and Marilyn- it was the strongest memory she had of that day.

No matter how hard she tried to stop it, the memory still played in her mind like it was on automatic replay.

_I stepped outside. It was sunny today. _

_I hated it._

_It was almost if the weather was mocking me, telling me how happy they were while I was suffering inside. For fuck's sake, did everything have to be against me?_

"_Oh God. Oh _God." _I turned my head to see two people against the brick wall, swallowing each other's tongues. Even from the side profile, I could tell that it was Marilyn, on one end, but the other one? Well, it definitely wasn't Austin. This guy had brown hair, or so I could tell as Marilyn tugged on it, deepening their kiss. And then I realized, it was Nick._

"_You have got to be kidding me," I mutter under my breath, witnessing this horrible PDA. "And she thought I was a whore." Well, I thought my voice was quite soft, and that neither of the two would hear me due to their moaning and groaning, but apparently it was loud enough for Marilyn to hear._

_She pulls away from Nick, and sends me a deadly glare. It seems, however, that Nick didn't hear me as he grabs Marilyn's face back to his. "Hey, what's wrong baby?" he asks._

_Marilyn shakes her head. "Nothing, it's okay. Go back inside and wait for me. I have some business to take care of." Nick looked up and turned his head towards me. I quickly look straight ahead._

"_Okay." And he went back inside, but not before sending me a disgusted glare._

_Marilyn then gave me her attention. "Well, I hope you liked the e-mails," she laughed. I don't reply. "What's wrong? Cat's got your tongue? Or were you to busy shoving it into other people's mouths?"_

"_That made no sense at all," I muttered._

"_Well what makes you think you would know, dysfunctional?" She smiled deadly at me._

"_You… are sick," I spat._

"_Oh please, it was only just a trick of the hand. You fell for every trap, Dawson. Every single trap."_

_My head began to spin. "What trap?" I asked timidly._

"_You really don't get it, do you?" I don't move. "Look, you little bitch. You are little attention-seeking freak, you know that, right? That little coat thing and dressing up- walking confidently, you got the attention of probably every male specimen in this fucking school. Well, that is actually rightfully mine. So when I tried to get what belonged to me, it got me two months of after school detention and community service on the weekends. So I decided to give you what you wanted- attention." _

_My knees began to tremble. "What- what are you talking about?" I could hardly speak._

_Marilyn scoffed at me. "Wow. You really are dysfunctional." I didn't reply. _

_She took a deep breath. "Fine, let me explain. You see, your stupid orange coat got the attention of every guy in senior class. Their attention is mine. And so, when I wanted to get my attention back, it instead got me two months of after school detention and community service on the weekends. Are you with me so far?" I don't say anything, but she takes that as a yes. "Good. So then I made up these fake e-mails that were all about you, so you'd get the attention… I wasn't kidding when I asked if you liked them."_

_My knees gave in as I leaned against the brick wall. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked._

"_Because you can't use this against me. It'll sound like pathetic little excuse when it comes out of your mouth."_

"_Why don't you just kill me right now?"_

"_I want you to know the truth before I do." Marilyn took a deep breath, continuing what she didn't get to finish. "So you know your little savior, Austin-."_

"Austin?_" Suddenly, I felt nauseous and my full body weight was leaned against the brick wall._

"_Well, yeah, I suppose. I asked him to get me something personal about you and he gave me this song you wrote, so I used. It would make a good story of how the tormentor comforted the tormented, don't you think? And plus he already had to be stuck with you during Saturday detentions. Not to mention his way of words-."_

"_-No," I gasped, unwilling to believe._

_Marilyn rolled her eyes. "Oh would you stop being so over-dramatic? It's not that bad. If you want bad, well, let me tell you about Eva-."_

"_Eva?!" I yell. Did everyone hate me? _

_Marilyn smiles brightly."Yeah, she heard something from Austin about my plan and personally went up to me and politely asked if I wouldn't put anything about her and you or something like that. I only did that because she was polite, though, so you're lucky."_

_I didn't hear the last sentence. Instead, I abruptly turned around and walked away from Marilyn, my eyes set for the school. "Where are you going? It's considered rude that you didn't let me finish," she called out._

_I didn't listen or answer._

_I needed to find Austin._

Ally was no longer tired. She laid on her cold floor where everything about her hurt. Her hands hurt from punching the wall, her wrists hurt from pounding on the door, her head hurt from the books, her feet hurt from kicking, and her heart especially hurt from everything.

That was why Austin didn't want to be friends with her. He was getting too close. When he found out she might like him, when he found out he might like her, and when she found his Prozac, it was all too close for his liking. It wasn't supposed to happen that way- he wasn't _actually_ supposed to fall in love. That's why he broke it off with her.

Knowing the reason why should have soothed Ally, but instead, it made her even more miserable. Everything he said was fake, everything she felt was fake, and the scene in the rain was fake. He was fake.

And she couldn't believe it.

Even Eva was fake.

_I found him talking to some of his friends at the cafeteria. As soon as I entered, the place went silent._

_I walked towards him, tears threatening to come out of my eyes. Austin looked at me, eyebrows bunched together in confusion at why I was still there. "Tell me it's not true," I whisper, slightly crying. I wasn't able to hold the tears back._

"_What?" He was casual, like he actually didn't know._

"_Tell me what Marilyn said wasn't true." I expected him to maybe roll his eyes, or scoff incredulously, but instead, his causal pose stiffens and his jaw clenches. Austin doesn't say a word._

"_Oh my God," I whisper as a thousand knives have pierced me- one going straight through my heart._

"_Ally-."_

"_Ms. Dawson!" yells the principal. The students' attention averted towards the front of the cafeteria. "Get over here, now!" she commands._

_I threw an unbelievable, disheartened, pitiful glance back at Austin's guilty expression before I make my way towards the front of the cafeteria. _

After Austin, she wanted to pay a visit to Eva, but after what Austin had said, she second-guessed herself. She was almost grateful that the principal told her that her dad had been waiting for her for ten minutes already.

There was a soft knock on her door. "Ally," says a slightly muffled voice from her father. "Can I please speak to you?" he asks.

"Go away," commands Ally. She didn't want to talk to her dad after what he had said to her after school. Matter of fact, she didn't want to talk to anyone.

Ally reached up to her dresser, shakily feeling for something sharp and cold. That sharp and cold thing could get her away permanently from this world if she tried hard enough. The process would be painful, but it was more than she ever wanted right now. However it was absent. She worried momentarily, but then realized where it was.

And she knew she was going to get it tomorrow.

She somehow found it better that it wasn't with her right now because it was someplace better. Somewhere everyone can see what they had done to her.

"_What has gotten into you?" he yelled as a greeting. Ally didn't reply as she buckled her seatbelt and gazed outside her window._

_Her father continued. "I already had-ad a lot of business-s-s today at work, and I'm already in some hot water with my boss! Did you think he appre-re-ciated it when I told him I had to pick up my daught- daughter?!" he yelled. I had never seen him this angry, and that just down-right scared me._

"_I'm sorry," I cried. "It's just that today-."_

"_Oh, I don't need to hear about today!" he screamed. My father accelerated the car so fast to the point where I thought we might get into an accident. "I heard every-vry-thing from your principal!"_

"_They were fake!" I yelled._

"_Your- your principal says other-r-r-wise!"_

_He makes a sharp turn as I hit my head against the window. "Get some se-ense knocked into you! You-you are eighteen already, a legal adult! And you're blowing boys in your class? UN-UN-BELIEVABLE!" He was stuttering. I guess because he was so mad… and it scared me since I wasn't used to it._

_I started to cry. "Don't you dare cry about the mistakes YOU caused!" he accuses._

"_I'm sorry!" I cried. I was stuttering now, harder than ever._

_My father growled something, but I didn't dare ask him. And because of his dangerously fast speed, we reached our house in only a matter of about two minutes._

"_Look at me," commanded my father. And when I did so, a large pain was jolted on my cheek and throughout my entire body as I felt a fresh red hand-print beginning to show on my face. I licked my lips in search of blood. It wasn't long before I found it. _

_I looked at him unbelievingly. "THINK," he spat at me. And when I stared at him, he shoved me towards the door. "Get out and stop gawking at me." I grabbed my backpack and obliged, watching his car speed off before I could ever register I was outside. _

_I ran inside and straight to my room, locking the door, as I ran to the comfort of my bed. My hand traveled to wear he had slapped me, and it stung- a lot._

_I leaned against the wall nearest to my bed, crying as hard as I ever thought was possible. It was almost scary to see how much I could cry for a period of time. _

_And before I knew it, school had already ended, and the memories soon began to flood my mind._

_I then began to hit my head on my wall, repeatedly, in attempt to get me to wake up._

It was decided.

She looked to her clock, and for once, the mix of numbers and lines were gone. The clock now was crystal clear because that moment was when Ally decided fate was going to stop.

Suffering was going to stop.

For at 5:03 PM, Allison Dawson decided at that exact moment she was going to commit suicide tomorrow.

* * *

><p>**Austin**<p>

"So then, I just broke it off with the girl," I finished. I sat back down in my seat, taking in their expressions.

I didn't like them. The group looked at me disbelievingly. They had confused expression and some sad ones, too.

"You _what_?" exclaimed Jared in disbelief.

"I stopped being friends with the girl. She triggers everything about my past, my girlfriend and I just don't like her, and she found out way too much about me. So, I got what I needed from her, and then left. Simple as that."

"You left her in a closet!" yelled Andrea.

I scratched the back of my neck, guilty. "Well, I didn't necessarily _leave_ her there…"

"Hell yeah you did!" screamed Jared. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Elise coughs. "Jared, language."

"No! Fuck language!" he bellows. I raise an eyebrow. I had never in my life witnessed Jared speak, let alone yell. So imagine how bizarre this was for me to see him yelling at me. I sunk into my seat ever so slightly.

Jared through his hands up in the air for emphasis. "Dude! You possibly might have let go of one of the best things life had to offer you!" No one in the room said anything.

Except for me. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Jared scoffs unbelievingly. "You are preposterous, Austin Moon, I hope you know that. From what you told me, it seems like _you_ _are_ in love with her."

My jaw clenches. "How dare you make such an accusation." I didn't like it when people told me things I didn't agree with- like they knew me better than I knew myself. And this was exactly what Jared was doing.

"Now what the hell are you talking about, Moon? I am not making an accusation. You tell me that you helped this girl write a song, right? Well, I'm not stupid!

"Can't you realize you wanted to help her, not because your fucking atrocious girlfriend asked you to get something personal? Dude, that was just an excuse you made up in your head so you don't find yourself confused. You even admitted it yourself- you _helped_ her write the song- you added your own stuff, not listen to it and then steal it."

I stood up angrily. "Stop acting like you know me more than I know myself!"

Jared scoffs. "Well, I'm not acting. I'm just simply stating the truth."

I became totally enraged. "Well you want to know the truth for you?"

He smiles sweetly. "Oh please enlighten me."

"_You_ are an anorexic freak." Jared's jaw clenches. I continue. "You think that you are too _fat_ just because some fucking modeling organization or whatever the hell you call it decided that you weren't fit enough for them. You let people get into your head- girls, even. Everyone… to the point where you ended up _here._ And I don't about you, but I think that just says you are a lot weaker than I am. So tell me, Jay, why in the hell should I listen to somebody weaker than me? "

Jared looks at me, emotionless, as if nothing I just had said affected him. "Well… that is the truth. I am weak. I do let everyone get to my head." I stare at him coldly, not replying. "But what I just said proves I am stronger than you… because it takes a whole lot of strength to accept it."

He then coolly walks out of the room, closing the door softly.

The room went into an awkward, uncomfortable silence, and no one dared to say a word. However, Andrea was the first to break it. "Well… that was, um, interesting?" No one said anything in reply.

I sat back down in my seat, as everyone just let the conversation between me and Jared sink in.

Trish finally spoke up. "He's right, you know."

I looked at her disbelievingly. "You're taking his side?"

"What sides are there, Austin? It's just the truth, nothing less, nothing more."

I sink into chair further. "So it's true that I'm weak."

Someone lets out a small laugh. I look to where it came from- ended up being Dez. "What?" I asked. "It's a question."

"Physically? Oh definitely yeah. Mentally? I think it still needs some work, bud." He pats my shoulder brotherly.

I sigh. "I guess Jay's right, then."

"Well, that's only the first step of making your mentality stronger," says Elise. I look up at her and she smiles. "Like he said, you have to accept it."

"Well then how do I make it stronger?" I ask.

"Tell us about the girl," says a whispering voice. All our heads turn to Bethany, who had finally spoke.

"You heard that conversation?" Andrea cringed.

Beth rolled her eyes- the first expression I ever saw on her face. "I'm an apprehensive person, Andrea, not deaf." She then looks at me, with a bit more confidence. "You are strong, Austin, anyone can see that. But you crumble to pieces when it comes to your past or anything related to it. So stop living in it, and start learning."

"Well how do I do that?"

"Well," interrupts Dez. "Why don't you smooth things over with your girl, that's a start."

"Yeah, start being friendly towards her- don't make it fake or come up with some excuse saying why you're hanging out with her. You're hanging out with her because you want to- that's it- and don't say that you don't want to," adds Andrea as she sees me about to reject.

"I like that idea," says Dez. "Just start small though. Don't be too forward."

Trish nods. "Yeah, if you just go up and talk to her normally, it's basically the same thing as saying, 'Hey! I know that I bullied you mercilessly since we were kids and got on your personal side so I could just use it against you and make you more miserable, but I was wondering if you wanted to get married?'"

I laugh. "Thanks, Trish."

She smiles back at me. "You're welcome!"

I then sigh, realizing what everyone said was right, and they knew it too. I looked at the clock on the wall, mentally marking an important time for me.

At 5:03 PM, I decided that I was going to change my life, stop living in denial, and finally be friends with Ally.

* * *

><p>…<strong>Reviews are amazing.<strong>


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